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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to say something to DS1 teacher about this?

138 replies

NewLisaLife · 12/03/2014 21:20

Or should I keep my beak out?

DS1(7) told me at tea time tonight that one of his friends - lets called him T, had only a sandwich and a chocolate bar (chocolate biscuit) for his packed lunch. T has a brother, who also had the same for his lunch.

DS1 gave him his crisps and his chocolate biscuit out of his lunch so T wouldn't go hungry, his other friend also gave Ts brother his crisps and a biscuit from his lunch so he wouldn't go hungry.

I know the boys mother - not well but well enough to stop and chat to in the playground or if out in town I'll say 'hello, how are you etc etc?' So don't want approach mother iykwim?

WIBU to mention this to DS teacher?
DS thought id be mad that he gave away some of his lunch but I'm actually quite proud that he and his friend gave them some more food so that they wouldn't go hungry.

OP posts:
MissDuke · 13/03/2014 00:24

They are only allowed fruit at break yet can have chocolate and crisps at lunch?? How bizarre! I am amazed you think your child's lunch was healthier because they had crisps. I cannot get my head around this at all!

TheBuskersDog · 13/03/2014 00:28

Swapping or sharing food is not allowed at my school either.

WorraLiberty · 13/03/2014 00:30

Cadbury's chocolate mini roll, Jinsei

fideline · 13/03/2014 00:40

Say something to the teacher about a perfectly adequate lunch? Which, on this single day, seemed to lack fruit? According to your 7 year old?

Yes absolutely. Say something to the teacher. This is the GDR after all.

Oh and Please video that conversation for us. Confused

Topseyt · 13/03/2014 00:45

I don't think you should say anything. If I were the other mum I know I wouln't appreciate it.

Schools are bad enough at snooping in children's lunchboxes and then patronising the parents over how to feed their own children as it is, let alone being encouraged to by another parent and it riles me.

fideline · 13/03/2014 00:49

topsey my primary aged children once had homemade flapjacks which happened to contain choc chips stolen from their lunches and binned by dinner ladies. Meanwhile the school dinner children tucked in to sponge cake with icing plus custard!

Makes my blood boil quite enough without busybody parents getting in on the act.

Monty27 · 13/03/2014 00:55

Maybe the boys had a full English for breakfast. You're making assumptions aren't you?

Also I'm not surprised your ds could share his lunch. He had plenty to say the least.

Sillylass79 · 13/03/2014 00:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WelliesandPyjamas · 13/03/2014 00:58

Agree with many others, a sandwich and a bar sounds ok to me. They are 7 years old. Both my boys, aged 5 and 10, usually have a sandwich, a fruit, a yoghurt, and a drink (and sometimes a small cake), which is fine for them, gets them through the day. Any more would be wasted especially if ds2 talks all through lunchtime like he does at home

Not worth wasting teacher's time imo.

Capitola · 13/03/2014 01:00

My son has only a wrap or small roll for lunch as that's all he can manage with his sparrow's appetite.

I would not be thrilled if another child gave him crisps or chocolate btw.

Ludoole · 13/03/2014 01:01

Ds2 would happily just eat a sandwich for lunch as that is what he would have at home on a weekend for lunch.
Ds1 (at secondary school) just buys a barbeque chicken wrap most days and a bottle of water.

Some kids don't have big appetites at lunch.

fideline · 13/03/2014 01:14

Capitola makes a good point.

I would be v unimpressed if another child gave my child the kind of junk food your DS was handing out.

Might find the teacher want's a word with you.

Mutley77 · 13/03/2014 01:51

might find the teacher wants a word with you

Totally agree Grin

Kids of that age Def should be reminded not to share food. Aside from potentially adding to the obesity crisis it is very risky in terms of allergies.

My dd would only ever have eaten sandwich, choc biscuit (lunch) and piece of fruit (at break time). Now she is 9 and doing a bit more sport she has 2 crackers and small amount of cheese too but that is very recent and doesn't always get eaten.

Original poster
NewLisaLife · 13/03/2014 07:26

I think my child's lunch box is perfectly fine thank you and it's not cadburys mini rolls - can't afford their prices Wink they are shop bought shop brand mini roll and is about as big as my little finger.

OP posts:
hercules1 · 13/03/2014 07:32

Dd is 10 and has a wrap and a piece of fruit usually. That's all she eats at home and all I eat for lunch too. If I give extra it's just left. Your dc's lunch seems huge.

Sicaq · 13/03/2014 08:32

Am I missing something? Sandwich plus one treat is a normal sized lunch, isn't it?

redskyatnight · 13/03/2014 08:37

Oh dear.
Today my DD's lunch is a sandwich and a chocolate bar (Club).

(she only has a choc bar once a week and won't eat fruit).

Yesterday my DS had what I guess the OP would deem satisfactory - a ham sandwich, cold pasta salad with sweetcorn, apple and yogurt. He CHOSE to eat just half of his sandwich and left the rest.

Just because your child eats a huge well constructed lunch does not mean that every other child will on any given day.

NigellasDealer · 13/03/2014 08:37

sorry but since when did parenting become this smug competition?

BlackholesAndRevelations · 13/03/2014 08:54

fideline - horrified that your children's school BINNED their flapjacks. How on earth can they justify that? Did you complain to the governors? Just thinking of the uproar that would be caused if one of the children at my school had their food binned by a dinner lady...

BlackholesAndRevelations · 13/03/2014 08:57

Oh and I'm glad you've decided not to say anything, op. If he's clean, well behaved, healthy etc and usually has a good lunch, teacher will not be interested in your busybodyness. The only time alarm bells would ring would be if a usually good, caring parent deteriorated and needed support eg a long run of last nights cold chips in lunchbox when previously they'd been good lunches.

Apologies if my tired babble makes little to no sense! Grin

soverylucky · 13/03/2014 08:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

feathermucker · 13/03/2014 09:01

Where you are a little defensive over your child's lunch when people question it, she might feel the same way.

You have no idea what else was in her kids' lunchboxes at the beginning of the day and no idea what else she feeds them at home.

So, rather than questioning what 'problems' there may be at home, as suggested by some, or speaking to a teacher about it, leave it.

If her children were coming to school dirty, neglected, had a lot if illness, displayed signs of trouble at home (ya know, SERIOUS stuff) then worry.

It's not necessarily indicative of a bigger issue/problem.

Also, it's absolutely nothing to do with you.

Schools are far more vigilant than you think ;)

feathermucker · 13/03/2014 09:02

I've read the OP again. This happened on ONE occasion?!

Yes, you're overreacting ;)

candycoatedwaterdrops · 13/03/2014 09:04

YABU and I'm not sure what you were thinking in starting this thread. It was one day and it wasn't particularly small or unhealthy anyway!

ilovesooty · 13/03/2014 09:10

Big wow. Hardly a safeguarding issue is it? Keep your nose out.

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