Thinking about affording IVF - I've hopefully name changed for this

[Whyohwhy2]

As I know people will not agree and I can't cope with the stress at the moment.

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2577344/Our-IVF-dream-shattered-got-food-poisoning-Tesco-rotisserie-chicken.html

I feel really sorry for this woman and her husband, but people are leaving it later and later - I'm sure financial will be one of the reasons, to start a family. I hate this compensation culture, but my real question is, if you can't afford another cycle of IVF, are you in a position to have a baby/babies since two embryos are usually implanted.

Now of course babies are cheap, breastfeeding can save costs, baby food make your own, but they soon stop being so cheap to bring up. School uniforms, nurseries fees if you go back to work, uniforms, activities, food, everything costs so much yet they can't afford the £5000 for an IVF cycle- I believe Tesco are now doing the drugs needed at a reduced cost.

Am I being horrible or do you find it difficult to believe- if two people are working full time and are 41, shouldn't they be able to afford it?

It makes me so angry how ignorant some people are. IVF is not easy or cheap.

I was 28 when we started trying for our first child, by the time we had gone through the system and found out there was a problem with my DH's fertility I was 30, NHS treatment where we live was at the time not funded for over 30's so we had to scrimp and save for 2 years to get the £5,000 together to pay for one attempt ourselves, this was 7 years ago. Now it would probably cost us much more. We were lucky, it worked and we have a lovely DD but we would love another child, sadly it will not happen, we can't afford it.

Longing for a child you can't have through no fault of your own is heartbreaking and effects everything in your life including your friendships with others, your relationship with your partner and your mental health. It is totally sole destroying.

41? Plus 10 maybe!

OP yanbu, in fact other posters such as chippednailvarnish are being unnecessarily nasty over what was a fairly reasonable thread. Glad you're ignoring them.

Your main point is valid... if they, childless and fully employed at 41, can't scrape together £3k for the most important thing in their life, then too bad. It's obviously not that important to them or they would do it.

I'm 30, been ttc 7 years with no luck, I have stage 4 endo damaged tubes and early menopause have 3 funded goes on the NHS (my partner has a child) my first cycle failed and I will be having my next cycle soon, its donor eggs and ICSI for me, could be about 8k private?

Could I afford it no, can I afford a baby yes, I don't think there's many people that could afford anything costing that much, if I took a loan out for it I could I afford a baby? No. If my next 2 ivfs fail will I live on beans for the next 5 years and sell everything I own to try to fund one last go...yes!

I think it's ridiculous to compare the cost of bringing up children with the cost of IVF. The cost of bringing up children depends on how stupid you are about spending on things you don't need or could get second hand or free from places like freecycle - some of the figures quoted in newspapers for what you "need" for a new baby for example are just ridiculous. We had IVF treatment over a period of 10 years spending over £40,000 - we live in an area that didn't fund any IVF treatment on the NHS at that time. During that time we watched friends with children buying lots of things for their house, a new car, holidays abroad etc., all things that we couldn't afford while we were funding IVF. We've now got 2 school age children but have more spare cash than we ever did although our household income is about the same.

Definitely an odd story. The chances of IVF succeeding after 40 are about 1 in 10 anyway so who's to know that the food poisoning made a difference in her case?

Either way if you're that desperate to get pregnant and avoid an MC, you should be avoiding Tesco rotisserie chicken or any foods that carry some risk of food poisoning. I'm currently 5 weeks pregnant and I'm watching what I eat carefully as I really want this pregnancy to stick so I'm not taking any chances...

Blaming Tesco for it failing is silly and rather than waste money trying to guilt trip Tesco into paying out they could be funding another go. Unless they have somehow got legal aid.

IVF may be expensive but so is raising a child, MN has the mantra that babies and children cost little but real life shows differently.

I dont think IVF should be available on the NHS and should always be a private treatment. The NHS should be for illness and treatments/cures. Theres little money spare in hospitals as it is.

Maybe someone else has already corrected our expert OP, but NO, two embryos are not usually 'implanted'. Multiple transfer is actually very unusual in the UK.

Wonder what else you don't know much about.

Wow. You're an absolute delight OP. You've said repeatedly that you have no experience of IVF. Well, lucky you. I'm ridiculously grateful that I don't have any experience either but I'd like to like I have a bit of empathy towards those who have had to go down thst route after years of heartache

Could YOU have affor
ded money for the IVF if you'd have needed to? Would you have several grand spare just kicking around? How can you even begin to judge whether or not a person can afford a child when you've never been in the position to have to consider it yourself?

As I've said on these boards before I'm not sure why spending on IVF is considered against NHS spend. Lots of people are very quick to argue on the one hand that IVF is not a health issue but then immediately compare it with spend on cancer. How about comparing IVF spend with the huge amount of public money spent on other things such as bringing the olympic games to London or the Tour de France to Yorkshire or comparing it with the vast amount of money not paid in taxes in this country by the likes of Amazon or the millions spent on funding lobbying and political campaigning or the millions spent on paying benefits to people who don't really need it such as winter fuel allowance to well off pensioners etc. etc. etc. Where does public spending on IVF fit into priorities for public spending as a whole?

I don't imagine her case will be anything like successful, but I don't think her financial situation is relevant to whether she should be entitled to IVF or not. When you have a baby you get by financially - you have to buy small things, although often, you can acquire things second hand, people help you out - it's all do-able. It's not the same when you have to pay £3000 for treatment upfront - not everyone is lucky enough to be able to access lump sums on that scale. And that's a cheap IVF cycle - the costs depend very much on the level of drugs you need, and the exact type of treatment need to have.
And what's the comment about 'people leaving it later and later' got to do with it? You don't know anything at all about this woman's background or how much time she has spent getting to this point!
I had my first IVF cycle aged 36, after trying every other treatment and option available for 6 years. She may well be in a similar position. My issues were nothing whatsoever to do with age - again, her position might be the same. You are judging her yet you know nothing about her.
And no, you do not just get given 2 or 3 free cycles. It depends on the PCT rules in your area - in mine it's just one free cycle. After that you pay - and I did, almost £6k. Worth every penny

1. People are leaving it later and later.

Firstly I would say, do you know how long it takes to get onto the treadmill of fertility treatment? Once you have realised that you have a problem, then you have to go through tests, get on waiting lists and so on. What age do you think is too late?

1. Am I being horrible?

Yes, you are. You are looking at someone else's awful experience and you are deciding to focus on 'if you can't afford to magic £5000 out of thin air then you can't afford t have a baby in the first place'. That's pretty horrible.

My husband and I were both working full time when we were funded to have ne cycle of IVF by the NHS. We both have jobs that pay less than the average wage, pay over £700 a month on nursery fees and absolutely can afford the baby we were so lucky to have. However there is no way we would have been able to pay the £5000+ ourselves.

Drnoitall, the amount of goes you have is a lottery. When I had IVF I had one shot and it had to be before I was 38. When I started the IVF (on appeal at the age of 40) my area had changed that to 2 goes. The NICE guidelines as you should get three tries, but that isn't universal.

' I find it hard to believe that childless people at 41 don't have any savings?, plenty don't.

Most people don't think they are going to encounter fertility problems. Most people don't have fertility problems.

Some people find it really easy to get and stay pregnant, and some of those people find it impossible to put themselves into the shoes of other people for whom it has not been so easy. That s when those people end up making sweeping statements and judgements about the poor people for whom it is not so easy.

Personally I had my own unsympathetic moment when reading this article, and temporarily forgot what it was like to be living through infertility; I thought to myself 'seriously, how can she be blaming Tesco the silly woman'. Then I checked myself and remembered what infertility can be like and reminded myself how very lucky I was to get and stay pregnant after my one and only IVF attempt.

Sometimes it's worth checking your privilege before making assumptions about why other people are feeling so desperate about the circumstances they are in.

Tesco are doing IVF drugs? really?

Asda do IVF drugs.
maybe tesco do too?

Well said my feet, wonder what the cost of birth was, obviously never been touched by infertility, I presume no one in your family has ever had any kind of treatment the rest of us might deem frivolous?

Do you not have an ounce of understanding and compassion for someone in say my situation who went through the menopause at 30 after spending 7 years trying to get pregnant when a chronic illness had damage your bladder and bowel and left me with knackered tubes?

So say your child hurts itself at sports day, I presume you will be paying private to get that seen to will you?

Yes you are being horrible

If you knew this woman personally would you say this to her face?

Would you say to naturally pregnant women that unless they have £5000 in savings at the time of conceptions that they don't deserve their babies?

You are being unfair and unkind.

This woman is unlikely to have children now considering her age/financial position so I can understand why she would be looking into compensation from tescos (which is unlikely) she is in a desperate position.

What about my husband Happymum whose illness of an undescended teste as a child resulted in treatment that left him with a virtually negligible sperm count? Surely IVF is just a treatment to cure his inability to produce sperm?

As it happens we paid for private treatment

I don't understand why a firm would take this case on. Its cruel to give this woman false hope that tesco may fund another round of IVF.

How is endrometriosis not an illness? How is polycystic ovary syndrome not an illness? How are thyroid and other endocrine problems not an illness?

Sorry, people who say that people are leaving it too late know jack shit.

Apart from the fact that many people like me manage to work out that they have fertility problems by the time they're in their very early 20s but it's very, very unusual to find a doctor who will refer you on for help or investigation until you are right at the end of your 20s. That normally means that by the time you actually start getting to the invasive stuff like IVF you are normally well into your 30s minimum.

On those questions about the drugs being available from the supermarkets - yes, you can get them through any pharmacy who stocks them. You get given a private prescription and can take it wherever you want to get it fulfilled. The prices are not staggeringly cheaper but when you are spending 4 figures on drugs for one cycle, every little helps! Asda are often slightly cheaper than most other pharmacies. Hope that helps someone.