Thinking about affording IVF - I've hopefully name changed for this

[Whyohwhy2]

As I know people will not agree and I can't cope with the stress at the moment.

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2577344/Our-IVF-dream-shattered-got-food-poisoning-Tesco-rotisserie-chicken.html

I feel really sorry for this woman and her husband, but people are leaving it later and later - I'm sure financial will be one of the reasons, to start a family. I hate this compensation culture, but my real question is, if you can't afford another cycle of IVF, are you in a position to have a baby/babies since two embryos are usually implanted.

Now of course babies are cheap, breastfeeding can save costs, baby food make your own, but they soon stop being so cheap to bring up. School uniforms, nurseries fees if you go back to work, uniforms, activities, food, everything costs so much yet they can't afford the £5000 for an IVF cycle- I believe Tesco are now doing the drugs needed at a reduced cost.

Am I being horrible or do you find it difficult to believe- if two people are working full time and are 41, shouldn't they be able to afford it?

If you're so sure that you're right OP why did you need to name change?

Do you really not understand that getting to the stage of starting ivf takes a bloody long time. You dont just pop in to see your gp and start ivf the next day. She would have had to have been trying for at least 6 months, then there would have been a whole load of tests than can take a few months to carry out. Then she would have been on a waiting list for many months, maybe a year.

But its all her fault because she left it too late, FFS

I think she looks older than 41 and I would like to see her birth certificate. I also think she is deluding herself about the chance of her IVF working - which were very small AND about the reason it didn't. IVF in women her age (whatever it is) is unlikely to work. That's a fact.

Also a fact is Tesco rotisserie chickens are revolting. - why did she ever think eating something like that was a good plan?

Just the type of thing this rag encourages, women judging other women's choices, and the fact she looks old also opens her up for more jibes. Good luck to them, not being to have children is a miserable thing. It is luck, plenty of people leave it 'too late' and have perfectly healthy dc.

I agree, she does look older than 41 and I also had the same thoughts about why she ate that chicken.

I have an IVF baby on the NHS. We quite comfortably afford to bring him up but would have been unable to afford if we had to go private. This is because we had some debts we struggled to keep up with about 5 years ago when I was in my final year as a mature student so find getting credit a struggle.

We are hoping to go for number 2 soon with help from my parents.

Personally I think it's incredibly unfair that you only get 1 child and limited gos. I suffer from an illness which makes me infertile and I cannot understand why it's not treatable when men get viagra on the NHS.

I think her claim is unrealistic in light of what the specialist says. I think slagging off her appearance and choice of food is unpleasant and unnecessary. I'd guess from the photos that she married relatively recently but you can't tell for how long they'd been TTC.

Do a survey on how many people on MN had a spare £5k in the bank (not earmarked for anything else) when they got pregnant. I suspect it is a minority. (£3k would be usually cheap for an IVF cycle, particularly when all the drugs are factored in.)

And keep in mind that no one having IVF has just started trying. They have usually tried for quite a while the old fashioned way, then had investigations, then gone on the waiting list for NHS treatment or saved up for private treatment.

It's pretty ignorant to say that two embryos are usually "implanted". For a start, no embryos are "implanted" - the embryos are transferred and your womb decides whether they implant or not. Moreover, it is pretty common these days to have a single embryo transfer and there is a campaign to this effect, to reduce the risks associated with multiples. In fact you sound so ignorant I'm not sure why I am even wasting my time typing this post and will stop now.

It's a stupid sensationalist daily mail article. I don't think she should win her case.

I needed IVF in my 20s OP and had a single blastocyst replaced and spares were frozen, is that ok with you? For many women one embryo is recommended in this country to reduce multiple births.

As a lot of people have said you don't have to pay all in one go for a DC. We were told last week that IVF is the only option because my DP has an obstruction that the NHS will not pay to have cleared and as he has a DD already we are now looking at £10,000 for IVF. I don't have that in savings, does that mean I can't afford a DC? No, don't be so bloody ignorant.

It takes years to go to the point of having IVF, we started ttc when I was 30, im now 32 will be nearly 34 by the time we are likely to get pregnant. Did I leave it too late? You don't know these people's lives and you have no idea what they have been though you wouldn't have name changed if you were that confident you were right

You are BU to make the assumptions in your OP but I too would be amazed if this woman wins her case. She shouldn't win the case, as sad as her situation is. The whole thing smacks of DM sensationalism.

I have done IVF and the sad fact is that it's a roller coaster lottery regardless of age, but statistically the older you are the less likely it is to succeed. And at the end of the day, if an embryo is going to develop and become a baby (whether in natural or assisted conception) it's going to develop; if it doesn't, it will almost invariably be because the embryo wasn't viable, not because of anything the woman has done or eaten etc.

Kitten don't you get two free attempts on NHS? Best of luck.

I don't agree with the postcode lottery it should be available to either everyone or no one it's not fair.

I name changed because I knew I'd get sworn at like kandypane or whatever her name is, and abusive posts.

She's the one that went to a newspaper to get more exposure, which means she will get differing opinions.

I don't think Tesco took this case to the Daily Mail and handed over her sad face pictures so how do we think this story even got in the rag? Because she and her husband out it out there - so yes I think they will have to accept some questioning of their story. Especially when their line is Tesco stopped us having a baby when in fact age, circumstance and bad luck are what has stopped them.

Exactly Northern

Why - the number of attempts depends entirely on where you live. Some areas fund 3 cycles and others none, it is a total postcode lottery unfortunately.

And yet it's ok to bitch about her looking older than 41?!

Well age factors in to the success of IVF. Just supposing she isn't 41? Just supposing she's older than that.

'And yet it's ok to bitch about her looking older than 41?!'

How is it bitching? She looks fucking ancient.

Even at 41, the chances of IVF resulting in a live birth with one's own eggs are very slim.

Whyohwhy2 you can only have IVF on the NHS if neither of you have DC. My DP has a DD already, I have no DC.

People don't need to be judged about how they conceived their DC, if this woman could have conceived naturally she would have. Once we have paid the £10000 to have a baby we still have to find the money for mat. Everything adds up.

She looks about 41 to me

People often don't look their best after traumatic life events.

'People often don't look their best after traumatic life events'

She looked ancient even in the wedding photo.

I know people will not agree and I can't cope with the stress at the moment

So why write a controversial post about an emotive subject then??!

YABU, your post just comes across as judgemental and shows a lack of understanding of IVF.

As someone who had to have IVF I feel sympathy for the couple because I know how upsetting it is to have a failure. However, I think they are clutching at straws trying to blame Tesco and I don't think that Tesco should be bullied into paying for another cycle.
The success rate of a IVF cycle is pretty low anyway, and at 41 the odds are much, much lower. I had a failed cycle at 25 - with top grade embryos put back. I should have had a 50% chance of success but it just didn't work - no particular reason why. Fortunately a second cycle worked and I have twins but I know younger women who have been through 5+ cycles and all have failed. I can understand the couple feeling completely bereft and looking for someone to blame but there was never any certainty that their IVF would work anyway.
As for NHS funding, our area only funds one cycle - and at the time I needed IVF there was a 4.5 year waiting list so we scrimped and scraped to pay for it ourselves. The lady in the article is lucky to have been given 2 free cycles.

My point was, affording it. In the article it states £3000 for another cycle of IVF, and yet she can afford to take Tesco to court on a civil case basis. Therefore from that I deduced she must have some savings, I don't get how she wouldn't have spent them on another cycles, and how on earth is she going to,afford a child or children if she has no money.

I really don't think being told to "mind my own f*ing" business is completely relevant given the title of this board, do you kandypane?

If this woman is going to sell her story to this newspaper, I'm sure she will find wildly differing opinions, not everyone will agree. And to be honest, I think she was bloody daft eating a chicken that's been lying in a heater all day, pregnant or not.

Right, so I've bothered to read the story now. Aside from completely disagreeing with the OP on why women are having babies later, the woman in the article is trying it on a bit.

At her age it's a sad fact that IVF is only successful about 5-10% of the time (tho the article says up to 20%). Food poisoning may not have helped but actually the embryos probably wouldn't have implanted by then anyway.

Of course you can be 41 and get pregnant very easily, but if you are struggling with fertility then the success rates for treatment aren't great.

I am sure she is devastated and regretting having that chicken every day. The what-ifs have driven her to this. But it is a silly idea to go after tesco for the money and I would hope it all had no affect anyway.

Porkpie your post is bang on- I DON'T have experience of IVF, and I'm being slated for using the wrong terms. All I'm going by was this article, how is asking about costs involved for this woman an emotive subject?

I'm merely querying how people afford the Huge expenses of a child, when they can't afford to pay for a cycle of IVF. Babies are cheap, but children as they become older cost more and more- that's a subject I'm very knowledgeable about.

I apologise to anyone whose feelings I've hurt by using the term implanted when I should have used the word replace.

The more you post OP, the more you sound like you just like shit stirring and saying nasty things.

So now your blaming the poor woman for eating a cooked chicken?

Here have a