To really want to say something to these abortion protestors?

[Crocodileclip]

Firstly, I know I will probably never say anything as I appreciate that the protestors have the right to protest but it really pisses me off.

A small group of people have been protesting outside the Marie Stoppes clinic in Belfast since it opened in 2012. They stand outside the door on the days it is open holding anti abortion posters and trying to gather signatures for a petition. I pass them on my way to get to the station at home time and every time it annoys me. I can't imagine how offputting they would be if you were young and scared and just wanting some advice. Lots of pics of aborted foetuses etc. I find it intimidating enough myself and I am just walking past. I actually put my head down and walk quicker so that nobody asks me to sign the petition.

I'm currently pregnant with my second and am lucky never to have been in a position where abortion was an option but am of the opinion that there are situations in which it may be the best option available.

The clinic itself operates within NI law so only offers abortions up to 9 weeks and as far as I know is the only such clinic in Northern Ireland. I think I would be ok with the protestors doing their stuff elsewhere in the city centre it is the fact that it is just outside the only entrance to the clinc that makes me irrationally angry. Does this happen at other Marie Stoppes clinics elsewhere in the UK?

I'm with you grey wind

I think these protesters are v naive

I too have children with sn and medical conditions which I found out are genetic

If I had contraception failure and became pregnant it would tip us over

What about those children who are already alive who could be so badly affected ?

Have you considered sterilisation?

I don't live in a country with free nhs medical treatment bumbley. Not only would we have to pay a fee which is currently out of our reach for sterilisation/vasectomy, in the case of sterilisation it would be very difficult to find any doctor willing to perform the op on a woman in her 20's.

But thank you for confirming my opinion that you are an ill informed human being who struggles with empathy and is incapable of understanding that the world does not operate in terms of black or white, but a thousand shades of grey. It's saved me the time of trying to communicate with you further.

It was a simple question Greywind. It is a solution for many women who do not want to have any more children so that they do not have to worry about unwanted pregnancy. I'm not sure how asking it makes me ill informed, unempathetic (I think you mean unsympathetic btw) or that I think the world is black and white but hey, vent away if you need to. I would say sorry to hear about your loss but you seem to be happy/relieved about it so I guess that would be misplaced.

I'm also wondering if sterilisation for either your or your DH would be less/more expensive than the cost of having an abortion (including travel etc)

bumbley you sound like the protesters. That's offensive posting. Your passive aggressive superior questioning is way off the mark. Desist.

Debating this issue is fine - questioning someone's fertility choices post miscarriage is fucking low.

They may not want any more children at the moment but may in future.

Greywind, sorry about your loss

Empathy is the ability to recognise and identify with the emotions of another.

Sympathy is the act of feeling sorry for another.

Empathy is exactly what I am suggesting you lack, the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes and see a situation from another human beings standpoint. Although you're correct, you do also lack sympathy.

My hod you are just breathtakingly offensive, bumblingmummy. Just extraordinarily so.

Bumbley your mask has slipped. Just playing devil's advocate eh?

Greywind

Bumbley you have illustrated peoples points beautifully - well done for show the same empathy and understanding as your shouty friends

Greywind

oh and I am 100% pro choice - regardless of reasons or gestation - hth x

Bumbley what other things do you interfere with in people lives.

Do you kill spiders, or put ant powder down.

I respect that to you life begins at conception, I would never tell you your views on conception are wrong.

But why is it ok for you badger other women on their views.

Bumbley, it is possible to be relieved this baby won't have to suffer being born into a terrible situation whilst simultaneously being sad that my child, my children's sibling, has not survived.

Maybe one day you'll be able to fathom the possibility of such conflicted emotions. When that day comes hopefully you'll have a better understanding of the anguish a woman seeking abortion has to go through.

You can only empathise with someone if you have experienced the situation yourself or can put yourself in their shoes, otherwise you sympathise. My experience of miscarrying was extremely traumatic and upsetting for me. It was a very much planned and wanted pregnancy so, no, I can't empathise with you about being relieved about a miscarriage. As I said, I was going to say sorry for your loss (sympathy), but it seemed misplaced given that you didn't want the pregnancy and you seem glad/relieved that it happened. "luckily..."

I'm not surprised that so many of you have decided to interpret a perfectly straightforward question as abusive/insensitive because I was the one who asked it. You could choose to interpret it as someone taking on board another person's situation and asking about a possible solution but no, much better to use it as another excuse to 'have a go' at someone who doesn't happen to share your opinion.

Gordy, again, my friends aren't 'shouty'. I'm not sure why you think I need to know where you stand on pro-choice - I already said that I knew there were some MNers who were. Perhaps those of you who don't have a problem with late term abortions should consider retraining as surgeons so you can offer your services in abortion clinics?

HadABadDay, where have I said that I believe that life starts at conception? I'm not badgering anyone on their views. I have said you are entitled to your opinions - I just disagree with them.

P.S no, I don't kill spiders, or put ant powder down, or slug pellets for that matter...

Consider retraining as surgeons?! Eh?!

bumbley I'm sorry for your loss - it's incredibly upsetting but you mustn't transfer your feelings on to others. It's way too com

Every womans experience of every pregnancy is different and not to be compared.

I could empty and refill my womb a hundred times and it would have no effect on an infertile woman's pain or the pain felt by women miscarrying wanted pregnancies. Totally separate matters and who are any of us to pass judgement?

Way too complex.

Empathy is imagining how that person is feeling and feeling it with them. You don't have to have experienced the same thing to show empathy.

I mean this kindly Bumbley - perhaps your loss clouds objectivity on these issues.

Thank you sauce but I'm not transfering my feelings, I just can't pretend to empathise with someone about being relieved to have a miscarriage. As I said, I was happy to offer sympathy but it didn't seem appropriate given the sentiment behind the post.

Yes pommel, it's very easy to say that you support the idea of abortion to term (for all pregnancies) but I wonder how many of the supporters would actually be prepared to carry them out...

I have had 5 miscarriages - I didn't find your relief offensive in the slightest

you are not me and your feelings are your own x

Just pointing out that I didn't say I found it offensive...

Bumbley, this miscarriage has been traumatic and upsetting for me. Whilst my circumstances are different to what yours were the physical effects have been extremely difficult to cope with and mentally I've been struggling as whilst this baby was unwanted it was still in my mind a baby, a sibling to my other children.

You're remembering your pain at the loss of your pregnancy and assuming a woman who is pregnant with an unwanted child must therefore not care about that child, that she does not feel the loss as keenly as you did.

Unfortunately that is not the case, although life would be so much simpler if it was. A woman can love her unborn child whilst still having to acknowledge that it's birth would be too damaging for all concerned to occur.

The emotional anguish of making that decision is worse than anything else I've ever experienced, to the point where I had decided to make the disastrous choice of continuing with the pregnancy as I was not strong enough to follow through with abortion, which would undoubtedly have been best for my family.

I source and sell food - I think me doing any surgical procedures should probably be avoided.

Choice of career and believes on certain debates don't have to add up.

I believe in a woman's total right to chose but I am fine with the legislation as it is in England. I think it works. It is not that I am pro late term abortions more that I am anti any dictating to a women on how her womb should be used.

I understand grey.

When I had my abortion the idea that I would have a baby just because I couldn't abort it was one of the deciding factors.

I did mourn my aborted baby but I mourned the idea of the final baby not the sac and fetal pole that it was at six weeks.