To really want to say something to these abortion protestors?

[Crocodileclip]

Firstly, I know I will probably never say anything as I appreciate that the protestors have the right to protest but it really pisses me off.

A small group of people have been protesting outside the Marie Stoppes clinic in Belfast since it opened in 2012. They stand outside the door on the days it is open holding anti abortion posters and trying to gather signatures for a petition. I pass them on my way to get to the station at home time and every time it annoys me. I can't imagine how offputting they would be if you were young and scared and just wanting some advice. Lots of pics of aborted foetuses etc. I find it intimidating enough myself and I am just walking past. I actually put my head down and walk quicker so that nobody asks me to sign the petition.

I'm currently pregnant with my second and am lucky never to have been in a position where abortion was an option but am of the opinion that there are situations in which it may be the best option available.

The clinic itself operates within NI law so only offers abortions up to 9 weeks and as far as I know is the only such clinic in Northern Ireland. I think I would be ok with the protestors doing their stuff elsewhere in the city centre it is the fact that it is just outside the only entrance to the clinc that makes me irrationally angry. Does this happen at other Marie Stoppes clinics elsewhere in the UK?

Bumbley I am sorry for your loss, I hope you had a lot of help and support.

You are right, I wouldn't want to be the person responsible for carrying out an abortion. I feel like I couldn't offer the women the support they need.

"You're remembering your pain at the loss of your pregnancy and assuming a woman who is pregnant with an unwanted child must therefore not care about that child, that she does not feel the loss as keenly as you did. "

No, I based my opinion on you saying that you 'seriously considered a termination", "There were a thousand and one cons and not a single pro to continuing with this pregnancy.", "Luckily my body took matters into its own hands and I lost the pregnancy this week, as quite honestly having it would have been disastrous for all concerned. "

It has nothing to do with how I felt about my pregnancy or how I feel about my miscarriage. I am sorry that you are upset about your miscarriage, it is not the impression that you gave in your original post.

Bumbley your sterilisation question was obnoxious and then to ask if her husband could do it . Why would you presume that another woman could not consider those options herself if they were available to her. It is good to know that you are interested in dictating all aspects of other women's fertility not just abortion.

Can we move on from competitive miscarriage.

I feel like it's going to cause upset to both Bumbley and grey.

Thank you Had. No actually, I had feck all support aside from my family. Looks like the NHS needs to improve their counselling services for people having miscarriages as well as people having abortions! I was on edge for my entire next pregnancy - particularly when I had a random bleed in the second trimester. When I had my scan and saw my healthy DS I cried with relief and the sonographer just didn't get it at all. She just sort of shrugged and said "it's a completely different pregnancy"

another,

"It is good to know that you are interested in dictating all aspects of other women's fertility not just abortion."

Since when is asking a question dictating anything? I know people whose husbands have been sterilised because they don't want any more children. I also have a friend who was sterilised after her last pregnancy (in the US though). It was a genuine question and was not intended to cause offence or dictate anything.

You're right Hadabadday, it's best if we drop this now... I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't be posting on this thread right now.

Bumbley, I am genuinely sorry for your loss.

Fuck me - life is hard enough as it is having to navigate our way through personal traumas without other people pointing and telling us how badly we doing things.

I'm sorry for yours Grey. I hope you can come to terms with it. x

I know that feeling ttc Dd for a year ( ok not that long compared to some) when I was 10 weeks 5 days I had a huge bleed luckily in work ( I work in a hospital with fantastic EPAU) and got seen practically straight away ( I was covering gynea ward) and got seen before opening time. Then a few day later.

Grey - your post was important, as is this debate. But we don't need to attack personal decisions IMO.

It just proves point in this thread.

Nobody knows what peoples feeling are, what they have gone through and what made a women choose to have an abortion.

It's so scary Had, I'm glad yours turned out ok.

Bumbley why did you presume that it never occurred to grey to consider sterilisation before you suggested it. When she explained why she has not why did you suggest her husband consider it. You were being passive agressive because you did not like her post on her experience if a miscarriage if you cannot see that, then by all means keep defending why it is ok to ask a 'genuine' question about why another poster should consider sterilisation.

Another, I didn't suggest that her husband consider it - she said that she would have to pay for sterilisation/vasectomy. I wondered if it would cost more than an abortion if she had to travel etc. that was it. Some people haven't considered sterilisation before. I know I'd never really thought about it until friends of ours mentioned it. It seems to be getting more popular - or else I'm just getting to an age where more people have them.

Sure bumbley keep telling yourself suggesting sterilisation had a place after grey's post and it was the most considerate thing you could have written. Her post hit a nerve with you and you wrote that because you were angry. It had no place on this thread. I too have experienced the pain miscarriage and I am not unsympathetic to your situation or greys. Oh and my husband has been sterilised, it cost a lot here in Ireland too.

I didn't suggest sterilisation, I asked if she had considered it. I wasn't angry with grey at all (jumping to conclusions again?) I also said that I was sympathetic but couldn't be empathetic. You might need to read posts a bit more carefully in future.

Bumbley you are being pedantic, that is a suggestion what would you call, have you considered something? I have read your posts.

bumbleymummy, have you considered being a kinder person?

Just a question....

another, no, not pedantic, you were just wrong. HTH

Back, I'm already a lovely, kind person. I just don't happen to share your opinion. Have you considered not jumping to conclusions about people you don't actually know? Just a question...

Bumble do you agree with your friend then?

Do you think your friends have any moral rights to do these protest.

You are going to have to explain to me bumbley how asking someone if they considered sterilisation is not a suggestion to them to consider sterilisation. You will not be able to btw because in any person's language it is. Hth

Which friend Had? I've already said that I think they are entitled to protest, I've said that from the start.

You're entitled to your opinion anothernumberone. I was the one asking the question so I think i should know what was behind it but if you want to think something else then you go right ahead and do so.

What are you on about Bumley where was the opinion in my last post?