AIBU to think parents should teach their children how to be around dogs?

[Glitteryconverse]

I have two young children and a dog. My dog is very gentle and tolerant and plays so nicely with my children. Her negatives are that she is quite a barky dog (non-aggressive, just vocal) and tends to jump up at people in excitement. She also is easily scared and will jump out of her skin if she is busy sniffing and then suddenly notices another dog/person/leaf next to her. With that in mind, if a child approaches, I always squat down with her to stop her jumping up and keep her calm and explain to the child that she is very gentle but gets very excited. If I take her on the school run and have to tie her to the fence outside the playground, I always put her at the furthest point from the gate so she is away from everyone (there is a really yappy dog that is usually there anyway!). The only way to have contact with her like this is if you come off the pavement and climb up a small grass bank to get to her.

Today she came on the school run and I tied her in her usual place. When I came out of school one of the mums was waiting for me and said that from the playground she had seen a small child run up to my dog and that my dog seemed to snap at her. She wasn't sure of the exact details but said that the little girl had cried and gone off with her mum and so she wanted to let me know in case anything was said later.

I would bet my house that my dog didn't bite the child, I really would. What I suspect happened is that the child ran up the bank to my dog and made her jump which made her bark, or that she jumped up at the child. I have always taught my children that they are to ask the owner before they stroke a dog and to let it sniff their fingers first as you just never know what a dog is like. I'm a bit worried in case I am going to get told off my someone for this!

AIBU to think that IF my dog had snapped at the child, then it wasn't my dog's fault considering that she was well out of the way and had been approached by a stranger? What else could I have done (other than left her at home!)

Personally I wouldn't leave my dog unattended because people (children and adults) seem to feel they have the right to pet my dog without asking even when im there!!!

Im lucky I have a beautifully natured friendly 5lb dog, but I get so sick of people assuming they can touch him....

Echo LtEve 100%.

While the ideal would be to have a well-behaved dog who you can walk at the same time as dropping off/picking up your child(ren), if you know that your dog is barky, nervous and prone to jumping up then you need to rethink when and where you walk her, and if that means going out separately after school has begun and/or before it ends and leaving her at home whilr you do the school 'run', then so be it.

How do you teach a child how to be around dogs if you don't have one yourself or know anybody who has one? Do you just approach random people in the street with dogs? I say probably best not to keep your dog tied up near a school.

RussianBlu, I agree its best not to tie your dog up near a school, but even if you don't own a dog, I think all children should be taught to not approach a lone dog, and they should be taught to never touch a dog without the owners consent. Simple common sense.

Lol at people with dog related issues.

If you have issues don't go near dogs. Equally though teaching your children to be afraid of dogs won't do them any favours as like it or not there are a lot of dogs in this country.

My dog is always on a lead unless in a designated area where she is allowed off the lead.

She is excitable and I don't allow her near strangers unless they welcome her due to people like the ones on this thread. She is a small skinny dog, not in any way threatening btw. Never aggressive.

Would people rather say she licks than gives kisses? Ffs get over yourselves!

I don't think fear of dogs is anything to laugh at. How horrible of you to lol!

teaching your children to be afraid of dogs
Can you get lessons/ tutors for this splasheeny?

And what is it will ppl wanting dog mouth all over them. Yuck. Call it kissing/ licking/ Tongue ing, it's revolting.

Personally I encourage my DCs to speak to dog owners when they encounter them and sometimes to pe a dog with owner's permission.
Usually I just try to keep them out of the paths of dogs being allowed to run free in the park.
If a "friendly" dog had bitten my chilitched said dog would be down the vet pretty sharp ish.

Child. Not chillted.

pet

FFS. I pad.

I was never taught to fear them. My family have/had dogs.

It was the slack owner with his excuses that did that.

No carefree trips to the park, shops etc after that for me. Dogs I used to get on fine with were probably upset. As were their owners.

And ever so often a stranger would get angry and defensive as if I hated dogs and wished them bad. Even more upsetting.

I'm ok now but it was a long journey and the stroppy reactions hampered recovery.

Apologies OP I didn't see your acceptance of BU earlier on!

Well you know uabu. But I'd like to point something out to the op.

Each time a chid approaches your dog on the lead or on a walk, you squat down and restrain your dog who is then rewarded with attention. Every time.

You are doing a disservice to your dog by teaching her that jumping up and being over excited results in the reward of physical attention from you and the child.

So, if you wouldn't mind answering me, what do you expect her to do when she is out on the lead and your are not there? She is only going to do the same sctions and then get stressed and anxious when it doesn't work because she has been abandoned.

You are doing a huge disservice to your dog, and you are placing the responsibility for your dog to be kept from reacting how you have taught her to on every other parent and child whilst you are in the school.

The school run walk has no social benefits or pleasure for your dog at all, so stop doing it.

I was never taught to fear dogs until the day a large black dog bounded up to me and pinned me to the ground whilst barking in my face. I was 6. I hadn't approached the dog at all.

I am still very very wary of all dogs. If I see one tied anywhere, I cross the road. I have no idea how long the lead is or whether it is securely tied and I'm not risking it to find out either.

So op you haven't yet managed to teach your dog not to jump up and bark but you expect that all parents will have taught their children not to approach your dog and for all children to obey their parents in this matter? YABU.
Why does your dog need to come on the school run? Can't you leave it at home? It's irresponsible to leave a dog tied up to railings especially when it is nervous and there is no actual need.

So op you haven't yet managed to teach your dog not to jump up and bark but you expect that all parents will have taught their children not to approach your dog and for all children to obey their parents in this matter? YABU

Now compare this to the Horse Poo thread, where everyone is expected to know how to behave around horses, not to excite them & anyone that doesn't comply is a f*cking Idiot!

I tend to apply those rules to my dog too I'm afraid & he's stuck at the end of his lead with nowhere to escape. Remove your kids from him, not the other way round...

OP my kids do know how to react around dogs. When dd was only 2 a huge American bull dog came running up to her. We stayed calm, not wanting her to fear dogs, and the damn thing bit her cycling helmet. I grabbed her and picked her up and the dog flew again at her helmet. Yes it was only interested on her helmet, but she got absolutely terrified. The owner reacted quickly and put the dog on a lead, swearing he wasn't aggressive. Well he was and it took me two years to get my dd to stop jumping every time we saw a dog.

I have taught my kids not to touch dogs they don't know etc, but ultimately it is the dog owners responsibility.

Our school have just had to send a letter home asking parents not to bring dogs on the school run because it is causing issues.

YABU

I do think it's great that OP has listened and decided not to take the dog anymore, so it's a shame she's still getting a hard time.

I hate dogs. DH hates dogs. But we never let this show around toddler DD, and we explain to her about not touching dogs without asking etc, doing all the right things, we've introduced her to a friend's (very friendly) dog and just tried to let her know that dogs are nice if you like that kind of thing. But I still hate them and I really hate it when we have to pass tied up, jumpy, yappy dogs, or even worse, non-tied up jumpy, yappy dogs.

I appreciate that people love their dogs, and I do see that they must be a great pet, but if you choose to have a pet that has the potential to bite, then you need to make the effort to train it, look after it and keep it away from situations where there might be trouble. That's all YOUR responsibility, not mine.

Of course, I appreciate that on MN everyone is the perfect dog owner, but that's not the case round my way.

MajorGrinch yes but the riders on the horse and you are at the other end of a lead.

A unattended horse would be on private property, an unattended dog should be too.

I'm 100% for teaching children safety around animals.

But I'm 100% in favour of keeping animals safe too.

^If you have issues don't go near dogs.^

That is a little difficult when the morons that own them let them off the lead in public places, allow them to shit all over the countryside and beaches and talk witlessly about them 'kissing' people. We've got our priorities all wrong in this country wrt dogs - they are not children, they are not members of your family, and they are not adorable.

^Of course, I appreciate that on MN everyone is the perfect dog owner, but that's not the case round my way.^

Not the case round our way either, sadly, everybodysang. Mostly, they are violent status symbols, and the more aggressive and badly trained the animal is, the more status is awarded to the owner. Quite why anyone would want to share their living space with such fucking things is beyond me, but plenty do. It just makes me think that dog owners, for the most part, are a bit thick.

DS1 is another kid who was fine with dogs until some stupid owner let their fleabag poochy woochy who wouldn't hurt a fly jump up in his face, scratching him and giving him a real fear of dogs.

I especially hate going to the beach in the summer with all these uncontrolled dogs pissing everywhere and sniffing around and rummaging in strangers' bags for food. Yes, I saw a dog snaffle a guy's lunch from his bag while he was at the water with his DCs. Idiot owner nowhere to be seen of course.

There are lots of dogs round here. And lots of dog shite round here too. But that's off topic for this thread....

My DS (6) loves dogs and although he is gentle with them, he can get over excited and obviously all dogs are different too so we are drumming it into him that he must ask permission from the owner before touching them.

However, he has learning difficulties so he does forget at times. I will keep working on it with him but I also think that if you have an excitable dog who is unpredictable with children, then you as a responsible dog owner shouldn't leave him/her alone especially outside a school.

I feel I need to defend myself a little here, even though I have already admitted unreasonableness!

She is a nice gentle dog and not snappy, but can get a bit overexcited when given attention (she acts like she is starved of affection and therefore grateful for any!). I walk her in appropriate places, keeping her on the lead the majority of the time, apart from when it is acceptable to be let off. She doesn't run off or run up to people at all at these times, she stays close and either plays fetch or sniffs everything in sight. I always ALWAYS clear up her poo!

Where we live is quite rural and there are an awful lot of dogs. Many are not on leads, and it is incredibly common to see them tied up outside the village shop, surgery and school. I have taken her on the school run in the past to collect my DC1 and waited outside with her for my DC to come out. My DC2 started at the school last term and so I need to go into the playground to collect them. No more than a handful of times I have taken the dog on the school run since DC2 started.

There are lots of dogs at the school and most are tied up or loose by the gate. I personally have never liked them being so close to the gate as you cannot avoid them, they are just there. As an aside, I once asked a woman to move her dog at the local park because it was a huge mastiff and tied to the only entrance to the park and it was really intimidating.

I will admit to not having given the situation a whole lot of thought, but given that it is the norm to be walking to school with the dog and tying it up at the fence it didn't really occur to me that it was such a terrible thing to do - I stand corrected now! Because I don't like people being forced into an encounter with a dog, I have tied my dog up well away from people. You would really have to make an effort to go out of your way to get to her.

So to clarify, with hindsight I freely admit that IWBU to leave my dog unattended for a few minutes in what I thought was a reasonable location. I won't be doing it again now that I have read this thread and considered the points raised.

However, I do think it is a sensible, common sense approach to teach your children not to approach/touch/flap your arms at(!) any animals unless you have asked permission of the owner and I do think that people do need to take a bit of personal responsibility here too. I can honestly say that if any of my DC ran up and grabbed a dog and it snapped at them, I wouldn't be blaming the dog. If they had just been walking past and it had snapped at them unprovoked however, I would feel differently.

I think someone early on compared it to children being taught not to run into the road, but being unpredictable creatures they sometimes do it anyway. With that in mind, if you had taught your child road safety and they ran into the road and were knocked down by a car, would you instantly blame the driver, or would you accept that the child had made an error of judgement? I'm not trying to cause a row, I am just intrigued as we also saw on the horse thread that personal responsibility comes into play there, so why not with dogs?