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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think parents should teach their children how to be around dogs?

130 replies

Glitteryconverse · 04/03/2014 13:44

I have two young children and a dog. My dog is very gentle and tolerant and plays so nicely with my children. Her negatives are that she is quite a barky dog (non-aggressive, just vocal) and tends to jump up at people in excitement. She also is easily scared and will jump out of her skin if she is busy sniffing and then suddenly notices another dog/person/leaf next to her. With that in mind, if a child approaches, I always squat down with her to stop her jumping up and keep her calm and explain to the child that she is very gentle but gets very excited. If I take her on the school run and have to tie her to the fence outside the playground, I always put her at the furthest point from the gate so she is away from everyone (there is a really yappy dog that is usually there anyway!). The only way to have contact with her like this is if you come off the pavement and climb up a small grass bank to get to her.

Today she came on the school run and I tied her in her usual place. When I came out of school one of the mums was waiting for me and said that from the playground she had seen a small child run up to my dog and that my dog seemed to snap at her. She wasn't sure of the exact details but said that the little girl had cried and gone off with her mum and so she wanted to let me know in case anything was said later.

I would bet my house that my dog didn't bite the child, I really would. What I suspect happened is that the child ran up the bank to my dog and made her jump which made her bark, or that she jumped up at the child. I have always taught my children that they are to ask the owner before they stroke a dog and to let it sniff their fingers first as you just never know what a dog is like. I'm a bit worried in case I am going to get told off my someone for this!

AIBU to think that IF my dog had snapped at the child, then it wasn't my dog's fault considering that she was well out of the way and had been approached by a stranger? What else could I have done (other than left her at home!)

OP posts:

Troglodad · 04/03/2014 14:05

Who ties their dog up outside a school, leaves it on its own, then expects small children to take responsibility for whatever happens next, and wonders whether parents should train their children for this eventuality?

OP: Are you winding us up?

winterhat · 04/03/2014 14:07

YABU

hoppingmad · 04/03/2014 14:07

There is 1 dog and presumably 100+ children. Yabvu to assume that all parents will have taught their children how to behave around dogs and that all children will have listened.
The odds are not in your favour - it takes just one child to run up to your dog unexpectedly...

It's not the dogs fault, it's yours.

LtEveDallas · 04/03/2014 14:09

Don't leave your dog unattended, anywhere. Quite apart from the fact that someone could approach and be bitten by her, she could be stolen, she could be taken and used as a bait dog and torn limb from limb in excruciating pain, she could be attacked by a human, she could be attacked by another dog, she could escape her tether and run into a road, causing an accident and her own death. Oh, and she could be taken by the Dog Warden who is within his rights to do so (unattended dog) and depending on your Local Authority, you may be required to pay to get her back.

You are setting yourself up for a lawsuit by leaving your dog. If a parent says that their child was bitten by your dog when she was unattended, you have no recourse. You cannot say it did not happen.

Your dog was not at fault here - you were.

Yes, other parents should teach their children not to approach unknown dogs, and how to safely approach known dogs, but YOU need to assume that NO-ONE does this and act accordingly.

spiderlight · 04/03/2014 14:10

YANBU to want parents to teach their children how to behave around dogs, but I would never, ever leave a dog tied up unattended anywhere, let alone near a school. Anything could happen while you're not there to supervise. Quite apart from the obvious risk of a child running up to her and scaring her/poking her/trying to hug her, I've known two people whose dogs were stolen while tied to railings in full public view, and if another dog running free attached her, she wouldn't be able to get away. It only takes one split-second incident to cause lasting trauma - to the dog as much as to a child - and I would never put my dogs in this position.

It's your responsibility to keep her safe just as much as it's the other parents' responsibility to teach their children how to interact with dogs. If you absolutely must take her on the school run, can't you wait at the fence with her and arrange for another parent to walk your children down to you?

Slutbucket · 04/03/2014 14:11

My little girl is scared of dogs. Why? Because some idiotic woman was on her mobile whilst her dog ran up toy little girl, knocked her off her feet and jumped on her. I got the dog off her, got the dog to sit down and got her to stroke it. All the while the owner was oblivious. She is now petrified although I have tried my best. So yabu leaving you dog tied up outside a school.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 04/03/2014 14:15

What worra said.

henrysmate · 04/03/2014 14:19

I own a dog and it's nervous. Nervous dogs, regardless of their nature when at home and relaxed, are unpredictable. So I muzzle him when we're out and likely to encounter other people.

I think you're doing your dog an enormous disservice to expect the world to behave so that your dog doesn't get freaked out. Yes, you're right, children should be taught how to behave around dogs and not approach strange ones, but in the end, you're the one responsible for controlling your animal.

handcream · 04/03/2014 14:22

I love all dogs and have a breed that often makes people nervous. So I am well aware of my responsibilities and will stop anyone coming up to her that she doesnt know and trying to hug her, pat her and such like (there arent that many!).

Tbh I dont think you should take a snappy excitable dog to the school gates and leave them for kids to approach. I have seen all sorts of stupid behaviour by children around dogs but there is no getting away from the fact that if your dog bit a child it would probably have to be put down. Unfair of course if the child made the first move but hopefully that will put you off from taking your dog to the school gates

Original poster

Glitteryconverse · 04/03/2014 14:24

Ok, fair enough, IWBU! In my village it is very common for dogs to be at the school fence (one just waits not even on a lead every day!) so it hadn't really occurred to me that it was such a bad thing, especially as I keep her well out of the way - or so I thought - of people using the pavement. Tied to the actual school gate post each day is a gigantic husky and a shrill sounding terrier, so I thought I was doing the 'right' thing!

Trogolad no, I was not winding you up. If I was planning on a wind up I think I would choose a far jucier subject than 'dogs on the school run'!

OP posts:

chattychattyboomba · 04/03/2014 14:24

Crowley- I don't think the dog was inside the school gates

Misspixietrix · 04/03/2014 14:25

YABU. Exactly what WorraLiberty said.

Crowler · 04/03/2014 14:28

There's dogs at my children's school gates as well, glittery. They're all "known" and fine but to be honest, the parents are still taking a risk. As has been said, if the dog bites a child they'll be sued.

squizita · 04/03/2014 14:28

I am an adult who was attacked by a dog as a young child and had a life long phobia. I'm fine with most dogs now- only the phobia is triggered now by owners who say "they wouldn't normally..." or "only if people do the wrong thing...", "the child must have...". Instantly I feel uneasy (e.g. with a small calm dog, whereas with a larger dog with a hands-on owner i feel more at ease).

Why? As I was lying on the ground having been bitten then fallen into the path of a car which then bowled me over (superb luck that day ) I heard the owner saying these excuses. They haunt me.

I knew how to behave around dogs. This one had been left in a van with the door open right next to the road/drive to the local rec ground: I couldn't see the dog, I did not run up to the dog, I was walking past skipping. The dog heard me coming and reacted aggressively. It may have seen/heard me - but short of telling everyone 'never run or make a noise' it was an accident waiting to happen.

Never leave a dog unattended near children.

LiberalLibertine · 04/03/2014 14:28

The dog's not snappy.

Apart from that every thing LtEve said.

Original poster

Glitteryconverse · 04/03/2014 14:30

Crikey squizita I am not surprised you had a phobia, that must have been terrifying :-(

OP posts:

shash1982 · 04/03/2014 14:30

I think your right in thinking children need to be taught how to behave around dogs but, I would be annoyed at seeing an unattended dog being tied up near mt DCs school to be honest.

My DC has been taught how to behave near a dog bit having been biten by one when she was younger is absolutely terrified of them now.

A dog was tied up outside our school once but managed to get loose & ran into the school grounds,my DC went beserk. The head teacher won't allow ot now.

pictish · 04/03/2014 14:33

I agree that you are bu. Your dog is nervous around children, yet you opt to take it to a SCHOOL at chucking out time, with kids running about everywhere, while you leave it unattended.

It's not everyone else's responsibility...it's yours!

squizita · 04/03/2014 14:34

Glittery Only I get bitten and run over in the same day! I was not a lucky child!

Martorana · 04/03/2014 14:37

I agree. But bearing in mind the relative damage each can do to the other, and the the relative importance of each, I think it's even more important that people teach their dogs how to be around children.

troubleinstore · 04/03/2014 14:39

You would 'bet your house' your dog did not bite. Unfortunately these are odds that one day may not be in your favour.
However nice and safe you think your dog is you will never be able to predict what your dog will be like around random kids who may provoke it.
Kids sometimes do what they are told not to do 'just to see' what happens.
Don't take the dog to school unless you are in complete control and with it at all times. It's not fair to the dog to be tied up and excited, or the kids.

ArsePaste · 04/03/2014 14:40

Legally, you ARE responsible for the actions of your dog, no matter what might have been done (or not done) to it. This is why you should never leave your dog unattended, your dog is your liability.

Original poster

Glitteryconverse · 04/03/2014 14:41

She isn't nervous around children - she loves them (and I suspect she thinks she is one!). She just wants to jump up and lick faces which is disgusting for all and scary for some, hence why I do the attractive squat when a child wants to stroke her.

OP posts:

ThisSummerBetterBeDarnGood · 04/03/2014 14:42

I dont think you should be taking your dog to school and leaving it tied up.

In a normal park setting, if dc come up to my dog I will only let them pet her if they ask and not too many of them.

But I would never ever leave my dog tied up by a school where there are going to be lots and lots of....children there.

Original poster

Glitteryconverse · 04/03/2014 14:50

Btw I have only ever done this a handful of times, if that, as, like I say, it is the norm here. I won't be doing it again though!

OP posts:

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