To have just shouted at a horse rider outside my house

[BigRedBall]

Have namechanged for privacy.

I am so angry right now. We sometimes (twice a year at most) get horses going past our house as we live around the corner from a small private farm. We live in a city, so it's quite a novelty when we hear the sound of "clip clop" outside.

About 20 mins ago we heard the sound of clip clop and I took DS to the front room to look outside. As we watched the horses go by one stopped and kind of turned around and SHITTED RIGHT OUTSIDE MY DRIVEWAY. Not a small bit...a big arse full of horse shit. And the rider laughed at her other horsey friends.

As soon as I saw it I put my shoes on and ran outside and the rider was going on her way again. Her friends had gone up ahead. I ran up to her shouting "excuse me" and she wouldn't stop. I shouted at her if she was going to clear up the horse poo outside my house and she replied "stop shouting at me" without even turning around to see I had a toddler in my arms.

I couldn't go any further because I was holding my DS and had left a sleeping baby inside.

Now I have a pile of horse shit outside my house, and I want to actually KILL this horse rider. Our road is a school route and I don't want children stepping in it but why the fuck should I have to clear it up? I am so pissed off. I want to get into the car and hunt down the fuckers and pull them back by their ears and tell them to clean it.

No - delighted to say that I haven't made a study of shit. And delighted to point out that I really love horses. But I find it odd that there has been vehement and lengthy insistence that horseshit never did anybody any harm, and that when somebody points out that this isn't in fact the case she gets attacked very aggressively. I just think it's fair enough for her to have pointed that out.

I'm sorry Shona but if you knew anything about horses no- one would have to spell out to you why you can't jup off, produce a shovel & bin bag & ride off. It's a ludicrous diggest

I have cycled around countless piles of shit - if you can't avoid a turd big enough to turf you off your motorbike you are going too fast

*suggestion

Wow, still going.

Can someone please add up how many times I've been told to "put the horse shit on your roses"? Yesterday it was pissing me off. Now I'm finding it hilarious, it's almost Miranda-ish.

Still don't know who took it. It's the mystery of the missing poo. My DS went and jumped on the remnants today. Sorry I don't have any interesting updates.

Lessmissabs I deliberately ignored your previous attempts to patronise me in the other posts you mentioned me in. I think I shall do the same here. I'm sorry if you can't understand the issue, as I said its very difficult when one side refuses to admit there is a problem or uses name calling as an attempt to belittle. Cheers.

Saintlyjimjams do you ride a motorbike?

My DS went and jumped on the remnants today

In the road?

Because a bicycle is a completely different thing....

My DS went and jumped on the remnants today

Yes, only for a few seconds when I took him out of the car. Then I realised how right I was. If that big pile was still there he would've been knee deep in horse shit. I'm quite thankful to whoever moved it.

No-one cares Shonajoy.

Yes I do realise that a motorbike is different. I have ridden motorbikes. If you cannot drive around a horse poo you are going too fast in the lanes.

I don't think it is a case of not being a capable rider shonajay; any rider is going to struggle remounting with a sack of shit and a shovel on the side of a road. I've been riding forever and I doubt I could do it. The safety aspects of dismounting a horse on the side of a road would be massive, as well as holding up traffic while carrying out the poo scooping. Finding somewhere to successfully tether a horse on a road (perhaps I could ask a waiting motorist?), getting out your shovel and bag, then trying to remount (ha!) -would take at least 10 minutes. 10 minutes of faffing dangerously at the side of the road with a line of traffic behind you next to your unsecured horse. I think people would generally prefer the shit. I also rarely see horse shit in the carriageway-we don't tend to ride in the middle of the road! My OH is a biker and in all the years he has been riding (and he does this for a career too) he has never mentioned horse poo. Oil, water, leaves, wild animals, yes. It just doesn't tend to be on the line he is riding. Perhaps he is just lucky! I have always thought it fantastic that horse riders and bikers seem to have a sort of affinity on the road. I have never come across a rude or inconsiderate biker, they always nod or raise a hand as do I.

Saintlyjimjams. You aren't reading what I'm writing. I'm NOT suggesting a shovel. I haven't anywhere in the thread. I'm suggesting a bin bag. I don't ride a bicycle, I ride a motorbike. Just to clear up your confusion.

Probably one of your neighbours has got free fertiliser. You should have been in there first OP! Do you have much in the way of bulbs in your garden?

The obvious place to put any poo shovelled up, with no handy takers present, is the nearest dustbin...

Might be safer on the road to be washed away by the rain as organic matter.

Shonajoy you must have missed the point I made earlier,Mao I'll repeat it for you: if a horse has shat on a road where the traffic is going so fast that a motorbike hitting said shit would cause an accident, then the traffic flow is too fast for the rider to dismount, scoop up the shit one-handed and remain in safe control of the horse, from the ground, one-handed.

The length and nature of the obstruction they would cause is a far greater risk to a wider range of road users than that of a bike happening to skid on the shit.

How does the shit get into the bin bag? Even if you love horse shit that is still one hand for the horse, one for the shit and one for the bag.

Shona how are you suggesting she gets the faeces into the binbag? I don't think just turning the binbag inside out over her hands will be enough!

I'm trying to imagine how long it would take to pick up horse dung one handful at a time.

How does the shit get into the bin bag?

Riders normally ride in groups. Why can't another rider hold on to the horse's reins until the other one clears up the shit? And why can't they carry it back? People used to ride horses laden with goods in the olden days. Why can't today's horses carry a load of their own poo in a bag?

I know you read a motorbike (which should be safer to ride over some shit that a cycle?)

Horse poo is picked up with a shovel - it doesn't just magically jump into a bag.

Hang on! So it's inconvenient/dangerous/unreasonable for a horse owner to pick their horses pooh, but perfectly ok to leave someone else with the task? Whether it goes in the roses or not that is pretty presumptuous.

Because it would hold up traffic. Alternatively somebody could nip back afterwards and clear it up if the stables are aware that they have annoyed somebody. Apparently this happened here.

Limitedperiodonly that's just embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you.

Why are you embarrassed for me shonajoy?

I understand why slippery surfaces are bad for bikers. I don't want you to have an accident. Why would you think I do?

Cowpats and wet mud are bad news for bikers on rural roads. But oil is a much bigger problem on every road. And potholes. And car drivers who don't accommodate bikers. As I'm sure you know. It's depressingly common, isn't it? Like car drivers not caring about cyclists and horse riders and pedestrians.

Farmers tend to let a herd of shitty muddy cows cross the road because they need to and they don't much care about you.

Some of them have been prosecuted; as they should.

Horseshit is less of a problem, because there's not so many of them and it's drier. I've no idea why it's drier, but it is, and it's not such a big problem as the other things I've mentioned.