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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people wanted me to wean Ds before 6 months?

52 replies

Bumpandkind · 04/03/2014 08:00

I'm a youngish mum (late 20s) and came under intense pressure from my family to wean Ds before 6 months. WHY!!! It's a massive bloody hassle. I stuck by my guns and waited till he was 6m and it hasn't improved his sleeping and my tini kitchen is now a baby food factory with little pots everywhere. I just wonder why people have such strong opinions that it should be done earlier.

OP posts:

PastaandCheese · 04/03/2014 08:05

YANBU. Everyone just follows the guidelines they were given at the time and at the moment that is 6 months. It's got nothing to do with anyone else.

DH's aunt was obsessed with me giving DD gravy and mash potato at 3 months for some reason best known to herself. She went on and one about breast milk being insufficient.

In essence I sympathise!

firesidechat · 04/03/2014 08:07

It's because that was the advice when people my age were weaning their children. They haven't been on MN to see that times have changed.

Numero3 · 04/03/2014 08:12

I also waited 6 months with my DD and plan to do so with my DS. As soon as she was 4 months I was told that 'she must be hungry' 'look, she's looking at the food she must be ready for it' ... I tried to explain that new research and advice suggested waiting until 6 months but was told, 'you had a rusk in your bottle' 'you had a chip at weeks old' 'never did you any harm!' Just because it didn't do me any harm doesn't make it right. As with all recommendations I think you need to do what you as a parent think is best. Some parents might think their children are ready for good earlier - that's fine. My DD wasn't. Each to their own. Either rightly or wrongly other parents will always impart their 'wisdom' - I just take the advice/tips like
She gained weight well until 6 months without any food.

trixymalixy · 04/03/2014 08:13

yANBU

Numero3 · 04/03/2014 08:15

Apologies food not good! take the tips 'I' like.

Original poster

Bumpandkind · 04/03/2014 08:16

Mine's always been a big baby and I think that's why they were insistant. They made out I was just blindly following guidelines when it was actually just because I thought he wasn't ready and I knew it would be more hassle than sticking him on the boob!

OP posts:

SleepRefugee · 04/03/2014 08:20

YANBU. It's nothing to do with your age though, I got the same rubbish as an 'oldish' FTM (late 30s, in 2011). I waited till 6 months, never forced anything in, never used baby rice, continued to BF on demand alongside solids and just basically trusted my body and my baby to make and take enough.
The shock and disbelief at my 'strange ways' was baffling to say the least!

Nocomet · 04/03/2014 08:21

It's incredibly hard not to think how you raised your own DCs is the 'right way'.

Mine are 13&16 and weaning advice changed between them, so it's not that long ago.

Totally agree it's a total faff and DD1 wasn't vague interested.

(DD2 was a bootle refusing, non weight putting on little scrap, she was weaned at 5.5 months on medical advice. She was genuinely hungry and are beautifully. Sadly once she reached the 50% line she became and stayed a fussy pain).

NewtRipley · 04/03/2014 08:21

People sometimes feel threatened by others doing it differently from them. Sometimes they are people who want to feel good by having expertise/skills you don't have

The guidelines did change. I believe it was 4-6 months when my DC were babies (13 years ago). I did wean one of them just after 4 months because he was showing all the signs of readiness according to the guidelines at the time.

mrsspagbol · 04/03/2014 08:28

I also waited till past 6 months and it also completely baffled me how much pressure i was put under to "just give her a little porridge"

WHY?

How is it anyone's business?

My DD is/was ebf and she is a 92nd per centile baby.....hardly starving?!

And i agree solids are an epic faff (to begin with at least)

Why would you tell someone else how to feed their baby?!

ipswichwitch · 04/03/2014 08:29

I respect the fact that people so what they think is best/what was best practice at the time so why the hell can't try respect me for doing the same? I followed current advice and waited til 6 months to wean ds1 and got nowt but hassle and grief from family for doing so. Then I got hassle for not feeding him jars and just giving him stuff we were eating. The relentless onslaught is what finally tipped me over the edge into a breakdown (amongst other things).

So yeah I get that out parents generation did things differently and I won't criticise them for it (even if I don't agree with it). Why won't they respect me enough though to understand that we are doing what we feel is best for our DC judging by teir needs an current advice?

whereisthewitch · 04/03/2014 08:30

I bowed to pressure even from my hV and weaned at 17wks with dd

DC2 will definitely wait until 6months.

HadABadDay2014 · 04/03/2014 08:43

It doesn't matter how much a baby weigh, it down to the stomachs not being able to tolerate solids.

Of course some babies are ready before 6 months others not interested at all until after 6 months.

Parents know best and until a parent is putting a child at danger people should mind their own business.

HoratiaDrelincourt · 04/03/2014 09:07

Simply because it validates the decisions they made. See also nearly every parenting choice anyone ever makes, eg bf/ff, sleep training, discipline methods, etc.

If someone does things differently from the way you did, you might have been wrong. And when it comes to our children, that's a very uncomfortable thought.

TillyTellTale · 04/03/2014 09:51

I don't think four months can have been as universal a weaning age 30 years ago as it sounds. When the six month mark approached, I asked my mother and MIL when they weaned, and it turned out that SIL and I were both weaned at nine months.

I myself had a go at weaning at six months, for all the good it did! I carried on and I tried to encourage six month old, seven month old and eight month old mouths to take solids, but it was treated as an attempt at poisoning! At nine months, interest was shown in the food, finally. But I don't think it was consumed in nutritionally significant amounts until a year old.

BuzzardBird · 04/03/2014 09:55

I blame early weaning for my bodies intolerance to so many foods as I remember suffering from the age of a toddler.

YokoUhOh · 04/03/2014 10:06

By the way, you don't have to faff with purees and baby food - do BLW! DS 16mo ate what I ate from 6 months alongside boob, and now eats anything and everything. YANBU btw, poor DH had Marmite down his gullet as a babe in arms, the pictures make me feel sick :(

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 04/03/2014 10:16

You will find people advising you about everything to do with your baby from weaning to potty training and everything else along the way. I always found it was best just to agree with them and then do my own thing

You know you baby best so you can listen to any good advise but do what you think is best.

I tries weaning DD1 before 6 months but she wasn't ready and became a very fussy eater after that. With DD2 I waited until 6 months and she ate so much better. I think you did it the right way.

GiraffesCantDoMentalArithmetic · 04/03/2014 10:28

Very sympathetic over the shocked relatives convinced you are starving your baby. With DD2 I was much more confident and waited till 6months (it helped that she was enormous and ebf, definitely not starving!). I also just gave DD2 whatever the rest of the family was having, not purees, which helped with the baby food factory side of things. Nearly gave my MIL a heart attack though because I was obviously trying to choke this baby after trying to starve her for six months....

LisaMed · 04/03/2014 10:29

My mother in law died when ds was three months old. My HV remembered her three years later due to the fuss she kicked up because I didn't wean at 8 weeks. tbh I think ds could have gone a lot longer before weaning, he was never really bothered.

Bless her, I wish my mil was alive, well and living in Australia. Just four months were enough for me!

HenriettaMaria · 04/03/2014 11:13

Bump It is nobody's business but yours.

My eldest is going to be 26 later this month and he wasn't given any solid food until 6 months. I don't remember getting any advice to wean before that from HVs or whoever. Nor was there pressure from family as they all lived miles away.

It always surprises me to hear that people with much younger children than mine were given guidelines to wean earlier than 6 months.

Crowler · 04/03/2014 11:19

Seriously why would they care?

Why?

SleepRefugee · 04/03/2014 14:16

Some people feel threatened when others do things differently.

Weaning is just the start. You've still got lots to come, best to grow a thick skin now.

RiverTam · 04/03/2014 14:24

I think some people think that if you do things differently then you are somehow criticising how they did things, rather than the both of you following the relevant guidelines at the time. My mum never gave me much advice because, as she pointed out, her advice was nearly 40 years out of date! But Mil (she is lovely I should say) would say, oh, it's just fashion isn't it, getting them to sleep on their backs, wean at 6 months, whatever. Odd. Both HCPs as well.

moanymandy · 04/03/2014 14:36

My ds2 is 4 months and the comments about giving him food have been trickling in since he was about months.

Ds1 was weaned early and I also stopped breast feeding at 3 months in desperation to get him to sleep! Didn't make an ounce of difference so this time I'm in no hurry, much to mil, dm and my Nan's annoyance!

(Although I got quite shirty with my mum for going on about it and she hasn't mentioned it since!)

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