To wonder why people wanted me to wean Ds before 6 months?

[Bumpandkind]

I'm a youngish mum (late 20s) and came under intense pressure from my family to wean Ds before 6 months. WHY!!! It's a massive bloody hassle. I stuck by my guns and waited till he was 6m and it hasn't improved his sleeping and my tini kitchen is now a baby food factory with little pots everywhere. I just wonder why people have such strong opinions that it should be done earlier.

Everyone likes to see the baby's reaction to first foods, I guess! It is fun.

Had the same cr*p from my family about everything from BF, weaning, sleeping, time off work etc.

Took me a while to realise that deep deep down they see you doing things differently to them as an attack on and rejection of them. Of course also they genuinely want to help, but sometimes the best help you can give is just to BUTT OUT!

Yanbu.
I weaned both of my dd's at 4 months because that's what people did then. It wasn't that long ago either! my eldest is 13, youngest 9. If I had another, I would do the same again. Even if the HV told me to wait until 6 months I'd stick to 4 because that's what I would want to do.

I think mothers should wean when they feel their babies are ready and everyone else should mind their own business!

I have an 8 and 11 year old and it was definitely 6 months for weaning. Why would you want to wean early?

Perhaps they think that your DC is hungry? If you insist on waiting till 6 months despite the baby being hungry, then they are right to be a bit concerned. The guidelines aren't set in stone, and some babies will need solids earlier.

If the baby's EBF on demand, chances are he/she isn't hungry. There's an obesity epidemic in this country and people are still trying to shove as much food as possible into babies! Again, OP, YANBU, you are completely in the right.

Food is less nutrient dense than milk. Giving food instead of milk "because baby is hungry" makes no sense.

I fail to understand this obsession with shovelling food into small babies either, my family, my Mum in particular were terrible for banging on about it. All my mum would harp on about is how my brother was weaned at 8 weeks!

DD was weaned just over 6 months, and as soon as a bit of food passed her lips, I started gettign told how 'mean' I was because I didn't allow her to be fed wotsits and chocolate buttons.

I have two friends who both have babies. Both of whom are already weaning. One baby is 3 months, the other is 4 months.

Neither has ever used Mumsnet and I honestly think that even though there is information online, in magazines, from the Health Visitors, that if I hadn't been using MN at the time, I may well have gone with my gut instinct with my own DD. Because effectively this is what these people do day in day out.

When DS22 was a baby, the advice was 3-4 months. He didn't like food and would gladly have waited until 6 months. Finally accepted it around 5 1/2 months.

Six months was considered a bit late - they seemed to be a bit obsessed with them becoming anaemic if you didn't. Since then, they have decided that although there is little iron in breast milk, it is all available iron. All the calculations had been made based on old fashioned formula (even the growth charts)

DDs 19, the advice had changed to 'not before 4 months', as people were weaning 'too early'. My health visitor was putting pressure on me to try baby rice, even though they were a month early. I took no notice and waited until 5 1/2 months, when they were helping themselves to my dinner.

My mother used to be because I did not stick them on a potty as soon as they could sit up. They used to potty train from 9 mths. She used to make comments about them smelling all the time and putting pooh in the bin (didn't - used catch them quick and empty nappies down the loo!) I didn't see her run very fast when she was looking after my sister's kids - lots of smells!!! . I think armchair babycare is always an awful lot easier than the real thing.

(don't get me started on the GMiL who wanted to give 9 wk old sherry!)

Do you have retired HV in your family? If yes then I have some experience with this! THe guidelines used to be to wean at 4 months, and I think it was Hazel Blears who changed the British guidelines to match the World Health Organisation.

My mil yakked constantly that dd (well under 6 months, also prem) NEEDED food as she was so "interested" in it. On and on and on about how she was " interested in my dinner" "oh she's so interested in what we're eating she must want some" "poor thing must be starving, look at her watching us eat". Eventually I told her that dd was also interested in the fucking washing machine but this didn't mean she NEEDED to start doing her own bloody laundry, them she shut up.

Looool re interest in the washing machine!

YANBU
They want you to do it because it validates their own practice of weaning at six weeks four months or whenever.
Weaning is a Pita btw. so much faff and mess.

Welsh
I will be using that one. Brilliant.

It is dreadful. My daughter finally had to put her foot down with her grandmother and aunts who all insisted that she should bottle-feed instead of breastfeeding. My granddaughter is a big hefty seven-month-old now, still being breastfed, though eating solids as well, but I can't figure out why they thought a chubby baby needed supplementary food.

You are not a 'youngish' mum at late 20's. I hate to shatter your illusions over that.

Advice is just that advice. And a guideline is just that. It's not compulsory. Its not the law. Advice and guidelines move all the time. it was 3-4 months for my 18yo and 6 for my 14yo. I stuck to the three month rule because you tend to find, if it works for one it works subsequent children.

When I had my first child (11 this year) from 2 weeks old 2 WEEKS my nan was trying to push me putting a rusk in the bottle. Her and my mother went on about how my brother started on rusk the day he was born and by 6wks was on cooked dinner. Needless to say they didn't get the chance to babysit for some time.

It's fine to talk about guidelines changing of course.
But if a new mum is following CURRENT best practice, unless you have conclusive scientific evidence that your way is more beneficial, BACK OFF and accept that things have changed.

chunderella I too want to hear about summertimes GMIL and the sherry! Is it something I should be supplementing my Ds's diet with?

jesspinkmam I'm clawing on to the last few months of my 20's like a demented cat in a bathtub , so please let me have this one!

I think the points many of you have raised about how no parent wants to think 'their' way was wrong is very valid. Everyone wants to feel they did the right thing for their dc's.

I am EBFing 5 week old DD. My mum has asked worriedly more than once now weather DD is ''on the 2, 6, 10 yet?'' i had to ask her what she was on about in the end - and it's the 4 hourly clock watching feed routine that she used with me! (that's allot of years ago!)

I am baffled that she should think i'd be forcing a 4 hourly feeding routine onto breast fed DD, as DD is my 4th child and i didn't force a feeding routine on those DCs either! And they were born in the 90s! Even back then i demand fed a mixture of breast and bottle, and she is perfectly well aware of that.

God alone knows what she'll say when i put off weaning till 6 months

Out of interest i think i weaned older DDs, who are now 15, 18 and 20, at around 4 months. I don't remember there being much strong feeling about it back then. I do remember weaning being held up as the magic ticket to sleeping through. I was lucky enough for all mine to be going 6/7 hours per night by 6 weeks, so nothing to do with solids. Very happy to report 5 week old DD is doing the same, so again, i feel no pressure to wean early.

Yanbu. I waited until dd made eating faces at what i was eating. When she was around 5.5 months she sucked on an apple core. And at 6 months would have a bit of porridge or yoghurt. But it was 4 more months before she showed ANY interest in food.
Do what is right for you.