to think people are selfish to not go to a wedding if it's adults only?

[Birdo83]

Just read another thread where several members said they would refuse to go to a wedding if their children weren't invited. Not for child care reasons but just cause they thought it wasn't right.

Space at weddings are limited what with both peoples friends and family. Are people really expecting some of the bride or grooms friends or family not to attend THEIR wedding so people's kids can take up all the seats? Our wedding was adults only because of course I wanted to prioritise my loved ones over other peoples children who, on the whole, don't mean so much to me. I'd have to have turned several of my closest friends if I'd let everyone bring all their children which I'd hate to do.

It's also worrying how many people can't seem to enjoy themselves without their kids. Ditto people who refuse to go to parties that our adults only. Very odd.

I wouldn't feel culturally or intellectually stimulated enough. Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa! Sorry but as a single working parent with limited means and a child that has on occasion had additional needs that have required fairly intensive parenting, I'm quite taken with the idea that I need to be intellectually and culturally stimulated (which is currently about 217 on my list of things to do). And that apparently that can only happen in the absence of my child (Tip if ever you need it: museums allow children in)

But that's me. Each to their own. but I do take my hat off to your passive aggressive line - very subtle, obviously its only you that needs that degree of stimulation, the rest of us can probably get by on a daily dose of cbeebies.

I've been on this earth longer than the majority of MN posters with small children and can quite honestly say that spending 5- 10 years of your life putting your childrens needs before your own isn't any big deal and can in fact be an opportunity to grow as a person

It doesn't make you some kind of mummy martyr (necessarily). And OP the horrible fact is that if people turned down your wedding invite because you didn't invite their DC, then yes indeed they do actually like the company of their DC's more than they like you. Otherwise they would come.

I reckon they get a bonus incentive for working these weddings.

You know, danger money.

Hotdog!
We need your summing up thread from yesterday more visible again

friendlyladybird - I'm with you standing around making polite conversation with 100 people 95% of whom I've never met before and won't ever meet again whilst I sip bitter lemon and they drink themselves slowly into a stupor sends chills right through me.

Kewkumber I was not being passively aggressive, as I mentioned in my thread I was genuinely interested. I pointed out that that was how I felt, and when I said 'each to their own'. I meant it. I also said art that wasn't suitable for children, and I meant all forms of art not just galleries and museums, but thanks for your passively aggressive tip of which I am fully aware having worked in one such place.

I don't belittle peoples feelings, do not belittle mine.

Art (all forms) isn't suitable for children? WTF? Why not?

I'm on phone so can't cut & paste. It would take me hours to find it.

Here's a breakdown though:

80% are BU

20% are NBU

We fall into the latter scoop

but surely if I mattered to them then they would include my children

And there is exactly what the op was talking about when she used the word 'selfish'. What if, you know, you weren't the only person invited with children? What if half of the guests had 2 or more children each, thereby doubling the guest list immediately? The above comment just shows how self absorbed some parents are.

Oh and about 75% of that 80% haven't RTFT properly

Not what I said. Originally I said art that wasn't suitable for children. When I said all art forms I meant art in all it's forms. So to conclude, some art, whether it be in a gallery, theatre or anywhere else isn't suitable for children.

Art that isn't immediately aimed at suitable for children isn't the only kind of art that's 'intellectually and culturally stimulating' though. Or even necessarily more stimulating than stuff you can take your toddler to.

Again I didn't say that art that isn't aimed at children isn't stimulating, but there is some art I find stimulated that is aimed at adults. Because I am one.

I went to a (brilliant!) child free wedding last year. Someone I knew there had had to leave her 2 kids behind and Christ didn't we know all about it. It was the first time she had ever left her 3 year old ds (but that's another thread!) and she spent the entire day talking about her children (she is a sahm).

I was like this:
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz
And

In the end she left early to go and see them.

A wedding is essentially a family and/or community occasion, I'm sure if someone chooses to/has to exclude families from it they expect some of those families might not be able turn up and don't have hurt feelings about it.

Theatre isn't suitable for children? Why? Ds2 is my theatre buddy - he's the member of the family I go regularly with (and take his younger brother and dh to family things). He loves Shakespeare - (reminds me I have to book Comedy of Errors for us) and he has performed for professional companies - including some stuff that might be classed as highbrow I guess (e.g his name has appeared in the same programme as Stephen Daldry's).

QUICK tell him he can't be there because he's a CHILD.

Yoni....
Bet she was really missed after her premature departure

Yoni See that right there is my idea of hell, I would have turned to drink also.

Sorry if I misread your post as "I need to be culturally stimulated but I guess not everyone does" as a passive aggressive "well I need it but I guess not everyone does" - I still can't imagine how that's intended to be taken any other way by someone who doesn't get that opportunity often - but each to their own.

Out of interest - in the situation (which or course may be your situation) where you are a single working parent with a limited budget and a high needs child, do you think you would combust without your required level of stimulation?

(Didn't actually comment of how you felt at all I have no idea what your feelings are I was commenting on what you said).

Perhaps I'm being confrontational because I'm not stimulated enough - something for me to ponder on...

Nooooooo, I said SOME theatre isn't suitable for children.

saintly - of course there is theatre that isn't suitable for children! Would you seriously take a young child to a stage production of Lady Chatterley's Lover, with full frontal nudity and simulated sex, or Avenue Q, which has lots of swearing and sexual references?

YABU

Piper....if it makes one jot of a difference....I saw where you were coming from....

Perhaps parents of all the budding young thespians out there have taken bits 'extremely' literally

Well I suspect the theatre ds2 sees/has performed in would be deemed 'unsuitable for children' by you PiperRose as we don't limit ourselves to the kiddy shows. He's interested, he knows how to behave, and he'll come with me to shows that dh won't go to because he thinks they'll be boring. :shrugs:

Due to the fact that some people have said that they don't go to the cinema etc and that's fine makes it perfectly clear that not everyone needs to do this. I am not judging them, as I said I feel I need this in my life, and would probably go a little insane if everything I did needed to be suitable for children.

I have not deemed anything unsuitable, but sometimes the theatre company do. I have been to see shows which the theatre has stated are not suitable for children and not allowed them to attend.