Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Have ibu to have walked out my job?

93 replies

bouncingbelle · 25/02/2014 00:10

After over a year of bullying by my boss I got up and walked out today. I can't believe I,ve done it and don't know what I should do next??? Should I contact them tomorrow (I don't want to go back) but I do want to discuss with senior boss and hr exactly WHAT pushed me to walk out. I don't do things like this, but after months of feeling sick at the thought if going to work (including tears fir the last few nights) I,m actually feeling great! (The reality of unemployment may kick in tomorriw )

OP posts:

HauntedNoddyCar · 25/02/2014 00:13

I'd get yourself down to the GP and get signed off work with stress. It buys you a week or two to work it through and gives your employer a chance to address it.

macdoodle · 25/02/2014 00:15

Really just really ? And that is why the NHS is fucked.

Rauma · 25/02/2014 00:15

As above but companies have policies so stick to your guns, it may be your boss that will lose their job.

Rauma · 25/02/2014 00:15

Macdoodle the OP is clearly stressed..

WelshMaenad · 25/02/2014 00:18

I did this.

Best thing I ever did.

Excellent advice to get signed off with stress. Ask for a meeting with hr - someone sympathetic if you can swing it - and meet away from company premed us. I dragged my hr lady to a hotel.

I did end up leaving and chose not up pursue constructive dismissal as I found a new job within 6 weeks and just wanted to leave it all behind me, but the sick pay gave me breathing space.

You're welcome to pm me if you want to talk about it privately. Workplace bullying is so incredibly soul destroying.

WelshMaenad · 25/02/2014 00:19

*premises

macdoodle · 25/02/2014 00:20

My response was to haunted, not entirely sure how work place bullying and stress is a medical problem but you know the free nhs is the solution to every ill....and that is why it's fucked.

WelshMaenad · 25/02/2014 00:20

Also, we just met in the hotel bar for coffee, I didn't, like, book us a room or owt.

WelshMaenad · 25/02/2014 00:21

Stress and the resultant depression aren't medical problems? I beg to differ.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 25/02/2014 00:21

Well i think if someone is driven to the point where they walk out of their job then it's fair to say they are stressed macdoodle!

I've seen this happen OP and the victim got so ill with it and eventually had no choice but to be off as she was too ill to work. Bullying is so damaging!

AcrylicPlexiglass · 25/02/2014 00:23

Work place bullying and stress could well add up to a medical problem. bouncingbelle's GP can decide whether or not it does. Good luck, bouncingbelle. It's done now and I hope it turns into the beginning of a brilliant new chapter in your life.

Teeb · 25/02/2014 00:25

I can completely understand wanting to just completely remove yourself from a situation you find unpleasant or draining.However, can you manage being voluntarily unemployed? Do you have a partner/dependants? Basically in a roundabout way, what's going to be paying the bills? I'm unsure, but I suspect you may not be entitled to many benefits as you chose to walk.

I second the advice to see your GP too.

Mmmbacon · 25/02/2014 00:31

Well macdoodle, seeing how their have been high profile cases of people taking their own lives due to mental illness brought on by bullying, I think gp is best place for op to go if only to assess her mental wellbeing,

Stress is stress, op said in her opening post that she was feeling physically ill, it doesn't matter what causes the stress, its still stress, and again gp only one qualified to assess op and help treat, medicate and refer her for help at this stage

cupcake78 · 25/02/2014 00:36

Definitely agree about going to your gp over stress! It will at least be proven you sought help if HR start asking for evidence.

I hope you can find a solution that works for you.

MistressDeeCee · 25/02/2014 01:35

OP - no, you were not being unreasonable. Workplace bullying and the stress it causes is a serious problem. No job is worth destroying your health for, and its not your remit to put up with being bullied for the sake of a job. However in many workplaces its known that bullying goes on and particularly if its a manager doing the bullying then theyre left to get on with it. As long as the work gets done, thats all that matters. I agree, get yourself signed off sick with stress, because you ARE stressed. & do please talk to ACAS about your situation theyll give you brilliant advice, their helpline number is 08457 47 47 47. www.acas.org.uk/

Original poster

bouncingbelle · 25/02/2014 01:41

Thanks all. I think I will go to the gp as Up until the second I walked I actually felt I was going to crack up. It's been constant, I actually posted last autumn about her comments made to me during the two days I was in work between losing my baby and getting an organ removed. It's just been constant and I think I was losing all confidence on myself. My mind is just in a whirl just now, v little savings, supportive partner, we are undergoing fertility treatment which keeps failing and I just don't have the head space to deal with any more shit from someone like her. Sorry if I'm not even making sense, it's just now I can thinking how awful it's been and I will be taking up a previous posters offer to pm them. Sorry for rambling to strangers on an Internet forum but not ready to tell anyone in real life yet .

OP posts:

Original poster

bouncingbelle · 25/02/2014 01:42

A cas also excellent idea, thank you

OP posts:

TheTruffleHunter · 25/02/2014 01:52

If you're so stressed with work that you can't function in the rest of your life, feeling sick and crying at the thought of going to work then that definitely qualifies as a medical problem. Well done for getting out now! Fwiw my general feeling is that you know straightaway whether the decision is the right one so if you're now feeling great...that's it!

FoxesRevenge · 25/02/2014 01:56

You spend too much time at work for it to be miserable. I've been through some rough times at work too so I know exactly how you feel OP. Don't let the bitch get away with it, definitely speak to HR. Even if you decide not to go back her card will be marked should she try this shit with anyone else.

Hope everything works out for you

Joysmum · 25/02/2014 01:59

Time to start writing down all the incidences so you have it clear for HR. That's going to be a stressful discussion because you'll put yourself under pressure to include everything.

Sometimesbrunette · 25/02/2014 08:37

I sorry to hear you are gong through this.

However as a HR Manager, just be a ware that if they are really rubbish employers, they can withhold your sick pay (if it's enhanced) or if it's Ssp only then you have 3 waiting days and they could claim that it's unauthorised absence, not sickness. It's rubbish but the company I work for has it in Their policy.

In any event, they can demand that you attend a meeting whether you are off sick with stress or not.

If you'd rather not face her until it's all sorted then fine, say it's been going on so long you feel ill and you feel is impacting your mental health.

My view is that you should put together incidents including dates, times, witnesses and evidence (they can't investigate it without this) and send it to a senior manager recorded delivery. You must be prepared that he/she will see this letter.

Any advice needed- PM me.

WaitMonkey · 25/02/2014 09:02

macdoodle, you don't think stress is a medical problem ? How odd.
Good luck op.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 25/02/2014 09:10

Of course stress is a medical condition, it can have all sorts of repercussions if not dealt with appropriately and quickly. Bullying of any kind is unacceptable - we wouldn't put up with our kids being bullied at school so why should we put up with being bullied at work.

OP good luck, hope you get somethings sorted.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 25/02/2014 09:12

Talk to a solicitor about suing for constructive dismissal.

mymiraclebubba · 25/02/2014 09:14

As someone who has also done this I do highly recommend talking to your GP as getting it documented is essential! Make sure you out everything in writing to your hr dept because walking out sue to bullying can be. Classed as constructive dismissal

Good luck and well done

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread