Aibu to think that I just won't allow him to?

[Dollslikeyouandme]

Kids on Facebook/Twitter etc.

Luckily ds is 5 so I don't have to worry for a few years yet.

But when the

there GOD THERE

Children use internet sites now to submit and monitor homework to play games and to learn.

I have three pre teenage children. The oldest ds (age 9) is already very proficient on the internet using it for school work, gaming and for answering questions that I can't. I have not allowed any of my children to use fb but they use some websites (Bin Weevils for eg.) that have an element of social media as the members of the site can contact each other in the game. I monitor this and as the computer is in the living room and is shared by all three children I ensure that the social contact is appropriate. I talk to them about how to manage messaging - being safe and using the internet responsibly.

I don't think it is going to be possible to cut my children off from all forms of social media and it would be short sighted to try. This is my opinion others are available.

They live in an internet age - by the time my Grandchildren are at school we will all be wearing tin foil and living on the moon - probably - so instead of being the apocryphal Canute and shouting at the tide - I will go with the flow while being responsible and aware of the risks. I will worry about cyber bullying, just like I worry about them being run over or in a coach crash on a school trip etc etc. ad nauseum - I will worry about every thing that is not entirely within my control and try not to let that get in the way of my children growing up.

It's also worth noting that many secondary schools have their own internal social network, which has to be accessed to submit homework. But apart from the fact that the school can closely monitor it, it still has all the features of other sites that could lead to cyber bullying like friends lists and private messaging. But then schools can closely monitor students when they are in school anyway, and that doesn't completely prevent bullying.

Those are my points of view atm, as a parent to a 5 year old Lottie.

Obviously I'm still learning as a parent, I'm doing a good job so far and I'm reasonably confident that I'll be able to manage whatever the teenage years throw at me one way or another.

I'm not naive btw, far from it, I've had a colourful life and that's probably unfortunately turned me into an old cynic.

Moonin see that's what I find so sad, that teenagers would be isolated just because they're not on social network sites.

In an age where we already have phones, email, cars to get around. Why are kids relying on FB or whatever? I really do wonder if sometimes it takes the fun out of childhood.

So you don't think a 13 year old will have friends with computers/tablets/access to the internet/facebook accounts or failing that access to an internet cafe or school computers.

You don't think your 13 year old will have a problem defying mum and setting up a facebook account (or similar) secertly on a friends computer.

I don't undertsand exactly how you plan to stop it?

Surey more sensible to allow with parental supervision?

I'm reasonably confident that I'll be able to manage whatever the teenage years throw at me one way or another. Ha ha - such confidence - I have an 8 year old and I'm already shitting myself about the teens!

But to teenagers social media is what phones email and cars are to us.

And as an old gimmer I think social media responsibly used can be really good fun - not sure quite why you think its inherently any more evil than email is used safely.

I've agreed to my DD having it at 13

The way I see it is, she could go round a friend's house and set up a FB account without my knowledge and have absolutely no idea what's going on

Or, I can talk to her about internet safety, cyber bullying, etc, let her have it, use my email address and insist on having the password (at least to begin with), she'll be using it on the family computer where someone is usually nearby, so we can keep an eye on it

One thing you should note is that my dd's age 5 and 7 are already much more interested in the social side of media than ds is. Ds plays on some multi player games that require internet access so they can shoot each other in a star wars fashion. But he has no interest in getting to know anyone outside of gameplay.

dd1 and dd2 want to message people, using the school website they have access to email (well dd1 does) and use it to send 'Hiiyyyaaaa xxx' type messages to friends. It is only going to become more prevalent and I would not be able to cut them off from that easily as it is a school site used by pupils in IT lessons and for homework etc. In ds school the school website is very important as it allows children to check there assignments and submit their homework, parents also have access to monitor the children's homework. Social media technology powers these approaches and it is not possible to avoid them entirely without affecting the child's interaction with their school.

When ds was 5 I had no real idea how much the internet would be part of his education or that he would be a gamer obsessed with minecraft so I probably made all sorts of proclamtions about how he would be limited in his computer use without any experience to base it on. Suffice to say I have a better idea of what I face with dd2 now she is 5.

Sorry, iPad went mad and I posted too soon.

I don't think FB is inherently bad, if used in the right way it's a fun, relaxed way of keeping in touch with your friends.

It's all about finding a middle ground really

Because to kids with WIFI at home FB is FREE.

Texts/phone calls cost money/have limits.

Cars are only accessible through a parent.

Emails are 'old fashioned' and formal. Fine for sending in your homework to Miss, but not appropriate for chatting with friends.

They don't have all the freedom to socialise and get around that adults do so they devise ways of doing it that work for them. I'd want my teenager to function within that world and feel safe and secure not be separated from it.

Have none of your opinions changed after reading the posts on here?

because that is how kids socialise these days they are in constant contact through social media FWIW it baffles me too DH even more so he just doesn't get it, I really think it is one of these things as parents of teens we need to accept , as long as a teen is getting out and about at some point during their day then I don't worry to much

I do actually agree with you on your last post OP, I'm very glad DS doesn't want it in many ways and really don't think he's isolated because of his choice. I'm pretty certain he doesn't feel isolated either, he mentioned last week that he saw his friends feed and it was 'full of stupid' and 'was boring'. He goes out without being attached to his phone screen and has a good social life without it. However if he changes his mind and agrees to our rules he can go on FB or whatever it might be a the time. The choice needs to be joint rather than one overriding the other.

I agree with Kewcumber as a fellow old gimmer - when I were a lad IT lessons were learning binary code and occasionally getting a print out from the schools solitary bbc computer on reams of thin paper. Anyone remember Cascade the careers advice computer programme?

In an age where we already have phones, email, cars to get around. Why are kids relying on FB or whatever?

FB is free, phone calls cost (me) money, email is still open to cyber bullying and trolling, as she can't drive yet, she relies on me and DH to ferry her around, and that's not always possible

She texts at the moment, which isn't that different to FB messaging really, I just have to pay £10 a month for the privilege

at the idea of children emailing each other to say "heyyyy, history was sooooo boring 2day! OMG did you see claire's nu bag? Gorgizz"

Kewkumber, you just get through things one way or another though don't you? I tend to think what's the worst that will happen?!

Yes email is strictly for junk/ scams

my dd is nearly 21 and she has just recently started to use email again but even for work stuff it is quicker to twitter than email

oh that should be tweet eh god i am so out of touch

at the idea of children emailing each other to say "heyyyy, history was sooooo boring 2day! OMG did you see claire's nu bag? Gorgizz"

My DD's texts aren't even that interesting

"Hey wuu2"
"nm u"
"g2g bye"

Riveting stuff

"In an age where we already have phones, email, cars to get around. Why are kids relying on FB or whatever?"

When phones first came out, I am sure people said "what's wrong with writing letters?"

did any of you watch The Middle last week ? it was very funny the wuu2 and nothin cool had us all laughing,

Martorana - I always preferred a messenger on horseback myself.