Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BEGGING for some reinsurance!!PLEASE

109 replies

RalphLaurenLover · 22/02/2014 17:58

So you all know my 'mother' and I have a strained relationship. Today it all blew up she was suppose to see my son tomorrow 11-12 but wanted it moved to today as she was 'busy' for what turns out she isn't going to be.

I told her to leave my home as she was distressing my son and she wasn't worth the argument. She refused after 5 minutes she told me she was going to take me to court because she didn't want to see me any more only my son (I've been offering her contact as she NEVER asks to which she is always 10 minutes late at least)

She then told me she's going to call her friends in Mental Health (she works for the NHS) and have them contact Social Services to get my son taken off of me and given to her (she works from 8-8, goes to the gym 4 times a week then to some married man's house where she stays)

She's said she's already got people to look into me at Social Services and they're things on my file and with her word I'll loose my son for sure.

How do I stop her from seeing my son she is Toxic and I'm not prepared to put up with her any more. If there were things on file with me with SS wouldn't I know about it? Had visitors etc? because I haven't had any.

Majourly pissed

OP posts:
HettiePetal · 23/02/2014 20:52

MrsDeVere is talking an awful lot of sense. Please listen to her and not your stupid mother, Ralph.

Hissy · 23/02/2014 20:55

As I understand it, GP, in order to try to take their case to court have to FIRST seek permission to bring the case.

Unless they have a HUGE amount of documented and proven contact, they won't even be granted permission to begin proceedings.

This won't get to court.

Trust me. Google 'rights of grandparents'

Hissy · 23/02/2014 21:05

Please don't feel afraid of your dm, she can't do a thing against you.

Sever contact now, change you numbers and make sure you report her for her threats, or if she harasses youm

She is no friend, she is an enemy.

Luckily you have right and the law on your side.

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 23/02/2014 21:14

Thank you all

Im gonna talk to my hv tomorrow for piece of mind and google it a bit

I'm not changing my mind

OP posts:
WilsonFrickett · 23/02/2014 23:07

Just make sure you google uk cases. There is a lot of 'case law' on the web which is American and therefore doesn't apply here.

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 24/02/2014 11:41

Spoke to HV today she's advised me to contact SS myself to make sure it's logged on record. She also suggested that maybe my mother needs some

OP posts:
Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 24/02/2014 11:46

Medical attention herself!

OP posts:
ConfusedPixie · 24/02/2014 12:16

She really doesn't have any rights to your son, she can attempt to take you to court but any solicitor will tell her straight off the bat that it's not going to go anywhere.

Try not to worry, I lurked some of your other threads about her, she's mad. Keep logging any contact, get a new phone/email/etc and you'll be the one in the right.

Cravey · 24/02/2014 14:35

Can I just reassure you that the grounds you stated are not grounds for removing a child. Also she may well be a manager for the nhs but no way would anyone act on anything she had taken off file. They would more be likely to discipline her. She sounds a tad unpleasant and I think you should remove yourself and your child from the situation.

Cravey · 24/02/2014 14:36

Also just to clarify re the grandparents rights legal thing. There is no such thing as grandparents rights. She would be very lucky if she even got a solicitor to take the case on.

dammitsue · 24/02/2014 14:44

If you honestly think you will ever find yourself in the dock being cross examined by your loony mother, then this is your main reason to make a clean cut now. She has turned you into a paranoid mess. I'm sorry, but you need a good hard shaking by the shoulders while I yell 'SHE IS A LIAR' at you.

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 24/02/2014 16:21

I haven't spoken to her since nor will I start to.

OP posts:
Pheonixisrising · 24/02/2014 16:47

and print this post off , so you have hard evidence

hope it all works out well

frogslegs35 · 24/02/2014 17:11

I hope the HV has put your mind to rest a little bit. Even she can see straight through your mother if she's suggesting (joking or not) that your mum needs medical help :)

Stay strong.

ParsingFancy · 24/02/2014 17:16

Also write to your mother's part of the NHS and say that a member of their staff has been threatening to access your and your DS's records for personal reasons, possibly via friends.

I imagine you'll get the best response by writing to the Access to Records Department, if there is one, or the Chief Exec's Office and ask them to pass you on to the appropriate dept.

If they're any good at their job, they will a) check whether she's already accessed the records and b) put a flag on your records so all access gets scrutinised by the data controller.

If she's as over the line as she sounds, she may already have looked and be deep in the doodoo. If not, it will still give you confidence to know you've covered that threat.

innisglas · 24/02/2014 17:44

One step at a time, Ralph. You are doing the right thing now. Get yourself a good real-life support network around you and enjoy your beautiful son.

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 24/02/2014 23:48

Thank you all Thanks me and my friend are going to a toddler story time and play group towards the end of the week for the first time!

New life! Grin

OP posts:
Sometimesbrunette · 24/02/2014 23:56

What a complete and utter moron. i am so sorry you are having to go through this, she sounds vile.

i agree with the others, cut her out. Let her take the furniture if she dares. If your son wants to have contact with her later down the line, then thats up to him but be assured that he knows all the facts (including that she threatened to take all the furniture away).

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 25/02/2014 00:04

She could take the furniture but she'd be hurting my son more than me and she wouldn't care!

Our sofas have mould on them and our local trust is helping us out with new fridge freezer and maybe sofas if they can afford them due to them being over 18+ years old (they were my nana and when she died my grandpa just paid to get them cleaned, recovered repaired etc and I can't afford to) she's forever telling me I need to get new and not let things keep me in the past like my grandpa did.

She's acting like one of them kids you see in town chucking her toys out of her pram because I haven't bowed down to her Hmm

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 25/02/2014 00:07

Well done Ralph. Lots of sound advice here. You know you can come back if you need support to be strong.

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 25/02/2014 00:20

Thanks Brian! Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 02/03/2014 11:28

She has just text me asking to take DS to hers at 11:30 for an hour.

I haven't replied she hasn't even apologised Hmm

OP posts:
growingolddicustingly · 02/03/2014 11:42

Ignore, ignore, ignore. She is trying to hoover you back in. I don't have the link handy about hoovering but I am sure someone will be able to give it to you.

Original poster
RalphLaurenLover · 02/03/2014 11:48

I haven't replied. I'm not going to.

She's never apologised sincerely for anything in her life. SS, HV and police are all aware of what she did anyhow

OP posts:
growingolddicustingly · 02/03/2014 11:54

Smile Have a Brew and some Cake

Swipe left for the next trending thread