BEGGING for some reinsurance!!PLEASE

[RalphLaurenLover]

So you all know my 'mother' and I have a strained relationship. Today it all blew up she was suppose to see my son tomorrow 11-12 but wanted it moved to today as she was 'busy' for what turns out she isn't going to be.

I told her to leave my home as she was distressing my son and she wasn't worth the argument. She refused after 5 minutes she told me she was going to take me to court because she didn't want to see me any more only my son (I've been offering her contact as she NEVER asks to which she is always 10 minutes late at least)

She then told me she's going to call her friends in Mental Health (she works for the NHS) and have them contact Social Services to get my son taken off of me and given to her (she works from 8-8, goes to the gym 4 times a week then to some married man's house where she stays)

She's said she's already got people to look into me at Social Services and they're things on my file and with her word I'll loose my son for sure.

How do I stop her from seeing my son she is Toxic and I'm not prepared to put up with her any more. If there were things on file with me with SS wouldn't I know about it? Had visitors etc? because I haven't had any.

Majourly pissed

Been lurking up until now. Just want to say well done and stay strong. If you have anything in writing from her that you can back stuff up with then document it (screen shots of texts/emails and ANYTHING else).

You are best to hold your head high, ignore and move on with your life.

the proper channels she thinks exist, actually DON'T.

NOW....

get yourself a new mobile number sharpish, get your friend to collect the stuff, but if there is any issue about getting them, walk away and leave them there. They are not important enough to keep someone in your life3 who threatens to take your child from you. Not even if that threat is made only once.

Please just leave this awful person alone? she adds nothing to anyone's life and will only cause harm and pain.

She won't EVER get court appointed access, nor even permission to apply for it, and SS will just laugh at her. Call the police and report her threats, report her if she comes to your house and don't ever back down.

Report her to pals but ask that her lover doesn't deal with the case as you need things felt with objectively.

Stop contacting her, answering the phone. It's as if she's dead to you now. There's nothing to be gained from continuing to argue with mad people.

If it's any consolation a lot of her tricks must have come from the Book of Shit Mothering. My mum loved them. Through high school she'd tell me she'd 'told all the teachers how mental' I was, how I was 'not right in the head' and they all agreed, how I was going to be 'taken away'. She's come up with lengthy tales of 'friends' she had and how they all hated me too, how she was apparently always being phoned up by random townsfolk who thought I was 'mad' - anyway, point being as I got older I began to suspect it was all one big weird lie, and I noticed errors in her delivery - she'd claim to have spoken to all my friends, but got their names wrong, and didn't know the names of my teachers despite all these meetings she had.

She also overused those classic "You NEED me" lines.

Ignore her. Don't reply anymore because by doing so you're giving her the pleasure of your reaction and amuntion to continue.

She can go through whatever 'channels' she wants - she obviously knows sweet FA because she doesn't have any official right to see your son if you say no.

Why does she think you need to explain anything to an almost 2 year old. She's delusional ffs.
Honestly op be happy that your son isn't older and more aware of what's going on because believe me, if he was then your mother would (and will, if you continue allowing her contact) sink her vicious claws into him so deep he won't know if he's coming or going.

The 'things' she has belonging to your son - is there anyone neutral that could go and collect? you could get the police to accompany you to get them but I think you'd need concrete proof that you bought them.
If it's stuff you can manage without then I'd leave it tbh - if she's childish and vindictive enough to deny a child his possessions then quite frankly, let her stuff them up her arse.

I agree with others about getting a new number.

*Amunition! stupid keyboard.

If you have not done it you really need to file a formal complaint against your mother with the NHS. It is the only way to be certain your side is heard. Social Workers are not to be trusted these days, the less contact with them the better.

I hope your friend has got yours and your ds belongings back and you having a quite afternoon.

Yes my friend brought his things round apparently she chucked them out at her god knows how she chucked is electric car! She seems to have gone through everything with a fine tooth comb to make sure nothing she has brought him is with me which I don't mind about.

My friends here now were all having dinner together.

I'm going to ring my HV tomorrow and ask to speak to her fill her in on everything and make sure it's on file the threats of SS, MH and her taking my son. I've also created a log of notes explains how she use to see my son and me and how she became unreliable and went for three times a week to an hour. So if she takes me to court I've got my notes, the police made notes and my HV has a note.

Is it worth ringing SS and telling them what's gone on?

She won't take you to court - she has no grounds to do so. Speak to the HV and SS about the incidents if you feel it will make you more comfortable, but to be perfectly honest, I think it is just extending the drama. Another poster made the point that when you are used to living in non-stop drama, it feels odd when the source of all the drama goes away, but you will get used to it.

I would spend tomorrow finding a new toddler group or something to take DS to, and start expanding your circle of friends so you can put your mother's nastiness to the back of your mind.

I wouldn't , the police have notes

Well done you though , you can get on with your life now !

She isn't going to take you to court, she has no rights and she wouldn't get legal aid even if she did.

What you have to do now is take all the notes you've made, and put them in a box, and put the box in a cupboard you don't normally go into. You don't need to phone anyone else, you don't need to extend the situation, you've dealt with it.

Now let it go.

Wilson she would pay for her own solicitors she doesn't need legal aid she's got a rich ass married man she's sleeping with and she earns £50k a year.

The likelihood of her taking me to court is high that's what she does she will do anything to try and get control back

Ralph she will need to have a case to go to court. Doesn't matter if she has money. She has no case. Try not to worry about what she might do and concentrate on getting back in control of your life. You and your DS will be much happier without her.

If you think the chances are high of her taking you to court, then yes you definetly do need to approach SS.

She won't get anywhere as grandparents don't legally have rights.

But what will she take you to court for? Grandparents have no rights over their grandchildren at all. She doesn't have a case. Even if a dodgy solicitor took her on, she'd be laughed out of court. For someone to take you to court there has to be grounds. There aren't.

Honestly, forget about her, forget about the drama. Focus on you and your Dc.

I truly believe when people are in a highly stressful situation they 'miss' that adrenaline rush once the situation goes away - but you have to let it go.

She said she will take me to court to see my son due to her seeing him before all this happened as she use to watch him once in a blue moon, see him In the week etc she wants to go for that

She has seen before that grandparents take their children to court to get access.

She will try no without fail she thinks she has the right

Yes, but they rarely get it. And certainly with all the threats she's made to you wrt SS etc, she won't. She has to prove contact with her is in the child's best interests. Which it isn't.

Listen to what their saying Ralph. She has you so tied up in knots I think if she told you the sky was purple you would believe her.

If you are so worried about it google it. You will see that the only cases by grandparents that have won in their favour have some pretty deep circumstances such as grandparents brought the child up for 9 years etc.

Stop listening to her she is poison.