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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this offensive

418 replies

JingleMyBells · 21/02/2014 14:03

As I was leaving my neurology appointment, I have epilepsy, the receptionist loudly said to her colleague "I nearly had a fit the other night when I saw the state of the house".

To me wrong in many ways. Firstly, wrong terminology secondly, demeaning to people who have SEIZURES, could be upsetting for those newly diagnosed plus just generally inappropriate.

OP posts:
MollyHooper · 21/02/2014 16:52

Where is the bullying on this thread littleballerina?

Funnyfoot · 21/02/2014 16:52

little she came on AIBU to as AIBU and was told by quiet a few that she was BU. Then she said tough I don't care what you think I was offended and I have a right to be.
That is absolutely fine but why come on AIBU then?

RiverTam · 21/02/2014 16:53

reminds me of that Lionel Ritchie video for 'Hello' - blind (can I say that?) woman modelling Lionel's head in clay whilst he warbles 'is it me you're looking for?' behind her. Dear oh dear.

BeCool · 21/02/2014 16:53

where is the bulling?

ExcuseTypos · 21/02/2014 16:53

Well that's me ticked off then Arse

Funny how you correct me but call the OP a tit for daring to be upsetHmm

quietlysuggests · 21/02/2014 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thinking101 · 21/02/2014 17:00

context people, manner it was said in, if indeed it was directed at you, and accepted turns of phrase.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 21/02/2014 17:01

I'm offended by people wearing socks and sandals, Manchester United, and Tom Cruise. JSYAK.

MostWicked · 21/02/2014 17:02

Well I was offended and that is what matters

Doesn't make you right and it doesn't mean that someone using the term "fit" in that context, is wrong.

ArsePaste · 21/02/2014 17:02

Oh dear, Typos, do consider the context: If the OP is offended at someone using the word fit in her hearing, Lord only knows what might have happened at her being called an "epileptic".

Signed,

An Epileptic.

Olivegirl · 21/02/2014 17:03

I think the op feels offended because of
The clinical environment
The bad news they recieved
And maybe felt more vulnerable than usual

Perhaps they wouldn't have felt so offended if it was a general conversation in passing.

5Foot5 · 21/02/2014 17:03

JingleBells I can get why you might feel this was an inapprpriate term to use in the surroundings in which you heard it, i.e. in a neurology department. But would you have felt just as offended if you had called in to a shop on your way home and heard one of the shop assistants say this to a colleague?

If not then it seems that your ability to take offence is rather context-sensitive.

If so then I am afraid you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that this word has different meanings in different contexts and if you take offence every time it is used you will be making life difficult for yourself.

As for the remarks about being "surrounded by a pack of snarling dogs",
could I respectfully point out that you posted on AIBU of your own free will so you could say you opened the door of the dog pound and walked right in!

MrsDeVere · 21/02/2014 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeCool · 21/02/2014 17:04

"You're fit and you know it"
The Streets

ExcuseTypos · 21/02/2014 17:05

Oh dear Arse

If its all about context, maybe you should be a bit more sympathetic to the OP hearing that phrase in a neurology department?

Signed

A dyslexic.

MrsSchadenfreude · 21/02/2014 17:06

Well look on the bright side, Jingle. At least she didn't say "I had a complete eppie when I saw the state of the house."

I was on a hospital bed today with the scalpel and bowl on my back with two doctors talking in acronyms in hushed whispers above me. I said, very loudly "I am not deaf and I am not stupid, I know exactly what you're referring to." I think this is more offensive, no? As they were talking about my potential diagnosis. At least they had the good grace to apologise.

ArsePaste · 21/02/2014 17:09

Typos, I was. Read my first post on the thread, in fact, here it is:

ArsePasteFri 21-Feb-14 14:07:02

I have epilepsy. I frequently have "fits" at the state of things. It's nothing to do with my seizures, and I wouldn't have been offended.

That said, this was at your neurology clinic, so you might want to have a word with them about being a little more understanding regarding the issues of the patients surrounding them.

And I've said it more than once. The fact that she is right does not negate the fact that she has since been a tit about the whole thing.

Lilly20again · 21/02/2014 17:11

Are you three?

My three year old misinterprets phrases.
My personal fav was " I'm going to kill your daddy"

" don't kill my daddy I love him" Blush quick explanation to three year old.

Your over sensitive.

MrsDeVere · 21/02/2014 17:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weirdthing · 21/02/2014 17:11

I think, in the context of her work, the receptionist was a fool to use the term 'fit' in such a casual way. In the olden days the word fit was used to mean seizure and many people do still use the word fit for a seizure so OP, I agree with you.
BTW, many people on here may not understand all the social stigma and shame that still persist around epilepsy. I think you have to have had epilepsy or know someone with it to understand that. People's attitude to epilepsy can often be very ignorant and offensive. Epilepsy kills 3 people in the UK every day and some of the posters who think the OP is over-reacting ought to try walking a mile in her boots first.

AnnabelleLee · 21/02/2014 17:11

Yet another person who asks if they are being unreasonable without the slightest intention of listening that they are, and actually getting worked up over being told they are unreasonable.
What is the fucking point? Isn't there a section for whining about being offended by a only tangentially connected word that you're also complaining doesn't actually apply to you?

Sandthefloor · 21/02/2014 17:11

I think that in a neurology department it is not unreasonable to expect staff not to joke about having fits! I'm sure that it was meant without malice and she probably would have been mortified if you had said something to her. Yes there are many meanings to the word but in general terms having a fit = seizure.
I'm sorry for the bad news you received and sorry for the hard time you're getting on here. Thanks

SaucyJack · 21/02/2014 17:12

It surely must have been obvious that the HCP meant that they would be sending a letter or report, and I'm sure the deaf person knew that perfectly well.

Why not say I'll be sending a letter then? Or any of the other millions of phrases available to communicate the sentiment? Saying you'll be hearing from me in the one single occupation in the entire world where the recipients won't actually be hearing from you (or anybody else) anytime in that life-time is tasteless and insensitive.

MrsDeVere · 21/02/2014 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weirdthing · 21/02/2014 17:14

And Arsepaste - calling yourself an 'epileptic' is very much non PC these days. As an adjective it is fine but not a noun. People need to be reminded, sadly, that people with epilepsy are also intelligent functioning human beings - the rule is the person before the disability.