To find this offensive

[JingleMyBells]

As I was leaving my neurology appointment, I have epilepsy, the receptionist loudly said to her colleague "I nearly had a fit the other night when I saw the state of the house".

To me wrong in many ways. Firstly, wrong terminology secondly, demeaning to people who have SEIZURES, could be upsetting for those newly diagnosed plus just generally inappropriate.

That was weird (no offence to weird people) I am in bed watching Emmerdale and reading this thread. Farm woman just said "don't have a fit"
Police and village elders have been alerted.

The audiology thing is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. If they really were pulled up on it I bet they used other offensive language when regaling this tale over many a dinner table. I think people often say they said what they wish they had. Nobody really acts like that in real life

I'm not going to repeat everything that has already been said OP but YABU and now sound like a sulky child. If you want endless sympathy go elsewhere as you won't get it here. It was an innocent comment and if you are that sensitive that you get offended by this type of thing I dread to think how you manage to get through a day without being offended.

On another thread the op has described someone's reaction as "chicken oriental" which took me back. I loves those boil in the bag meals of the 80s.

Chicken Oriental? Ooooh, mental.

Nice one OP. Hypocrite.

I don't think that you are unreasonable to feel upset at the turn of phrase, I think it is natural to feel sensitive about terms which remind you of a medical condition which has a huge impact on your life.

I am still experiencing some post-pregnancy incontinence and it makes me cringe and feel personally upset whenever somebody says something like 'I pissed myself laughing' or writes PMSL because whilst they mean it as a turn of phrase that actually happens to me. Similarly I have a history of self-harm and suicide attempts and many people who have no experience of this probably don't notice how often people make light-hearted references to self-harm and suicide (eg: 'it made me want to just slit my wrists' or 'I felt like dying') until that phrase relates directly to you. I hate it when I hear things like this because even if I am feeling happy and calm and not thinking about incontinence or my mental health somebody casually using a turn of phrase like that brings all that worry and angst to the forefront of my mind, whatever I'm doing.

That said, I don't feel that on the whole people are being unreasonable for using what are, after all, common terms of phrases and I don't feel it was unreasonable of the receptionist to use the word 'fit' in the context she did considering that 'fit' does have more than one accepted usage. I imagine she would be horrified to find out that it offended you and probably said it without thinking as the word 'fit' doesn't hold the very personal and no doubt emotional connotations to her as it does for you. I could have kicked myself the other day when I said to a friend, 'I could have killed my mum' in relaying a story in which I was angry with her because his mum is terminally ill. It was an awful thing for me to say under the circumstances and no doubt he found it offensive but it was a common turn of phrase I said to the wrong person at the wrong time. Obviously it wasn't meant to be taken literally and it was not said with any intention to hurt, upset or offend him.

It is your right to feel offence at things others have said and you are not being unreasonable in finding her phrase personally offensive, but I think you do have to accept that whilst the word 'fit' in any context may be offensive to you it is not, in itself, an offensive term and it is perfectly acceptable to use it to describe a period in which one felt particularly angry. People do have a responsibility to avoid using terms which are broadly offensive but in this case it doesn't sound like there was any intention to offend, the receptionist may not even have been aware that you have epilepsy, and in that case I think you just have to accept that it was unfortunate you were in earshot whilst she was using a term you find personally offensive, but it was not a broadly offensive term and so she was not wrong to say it in the same way that whilst I find the term 'wet myself laughing' personally offensive I don't get angry with people when they say it because I know they haven't said it with any intention to intend or upset. Unfortunately we use a language in which there are a huge number of idioms, phrases and words with double-meanings which are used casually by many and which have license to unintentionally offend certain groups of people for whom they carry personal meaning but it would be exhausting to expect anybody to avoid ever using any of these as they are so common in English so I find it easier just to let it go rather than hold onto an anger which just leaves me feeling unhappy anyway.

SORRY NO I made it sound like it was this OP but it wasn't this one, just someone talking about something else. My point, and how shitly I put it, was that sometimes people use terms or words but not through any malice or unkindness. This OP is not my cup of tea but I didn't mean to add to her issues!

weirdthing why are you calling people assholes. Did you not understand the many posts explaining that this is a completely different usage of the word 'fit' that has nothing to do with epilepsy.

You might as well be complaining that someone said "this coat is a good fit"

Jingle. I hope you don't get the impression that anyone is belittling the fact you suffer from epilepsy. I certainly wouldn't want to be in your position. I have been watching Brain Hospital on Channel 5 - it's really interesting and informative. A few of the people on the show have epilepsy.

However, you are still being very unreasonable being offended. I really don't think the receptionist did anything wrong.

YANBU to feel offended but YABU to expect receptionists or others not to use the word fit, IYSWIM.

You were discussing your Epilepsy. overheard the expression 'fit' and it got to you as you were feeling particulary aware/sensitive of your Epiliepsy and it was unfortunate you overheard the conversation at that point.

I read on the internet on a daily basis people using the word 'mong', retard etc and it is offensive especially as I have a disabled child. But I still use the internet.

Let it go.

I've been trying hard to watch that YouAreTalkingRubbish, it's probably not a good idea in my case (see this ) but it's great. I've found it reassuring but they've only done good stories so far.

It is just a term people use to describe their reactions to certain situations that may occur. If I was aware of your Epilepsy I would not say fit. Maybe eventually it may become as unacceptable as mong, spaz, retard etc.

OP... when I read your first post, I assumed that paramedics had called to collect you, gossiped about your house being in a state and passed it on. I had no idea you were talking about the term 'fit'.

You are being completely and utterly unreasonable in every possible way. I would certainly keep quiet about it and not take it up with anybody.

Unfortunate at a neurology clinic but not offensive - and I'm also epileptic. Now the Demi Lovato song Heart Attack was offensive imo.

I just tried on a dress from last year. I very nearly had a seizure when I found it was no longer a good fit.

They shrink on storage red. True fact.

Sorry mixing up my threads here, penny just dropped! D'oh!

She probably didn't know or care why you were in not everyone who attends the neurology clinic has epilepsy and I know in DS case she doesn't even type his reports.

Last time we were there I heard a very interesting story about an affair between nurse and junior doctor was so pissed off we were called in and I missed the end.