To ask whether you kept your baby same room as you for all naps until 6 months?

[Hotmad]

It's so confusing to know what's best to do, DD is nearly 3 months and her usual bedtime she fell into is 7pm (ish) and she usually sleeps in fr room with us until we go to bed at 11pm (ish) now usually she settles well in cot at 11 but before that she sleeps but can wake up and fidget more so I wonder if noise and lights bother or disrupt her. But I would never want to put her in a room if guidance says not to as obviously must be for a reason.
Just wonder the general consensus of what others do or did?
I read somewhere that the reason is because they forget to breathe if left alone to sleep before 6 months??? Is that true?

We put DS to sleep upstairs from 7pm from about 4 weeks, although he stayed downstairs for daytime naps for a few months.

At the time I did some reading and it seemed the most significant SIDS risk factors were back to sleep, not smoking, breast feeding, and as I did all those we decided the remaining risk was tiny and it was better to teach DS good sleep habits and get him into a bedtime routine.

I didn't for all naps, he slept in with me until he was 12 months old, but I did start putting him upstairs at about 3 months old from about 8pm until I went to bed at 10pm. He seemed to settle better.

I didn't know at the time that you should be in the room together for all naps, had I realised I may have done it differently.

How do you get anything done if you have to be invite same room ALL the time? When do you cook, clean, shower?

Mine both have had naps and gone to bed upstairs from about 8 weeks. Both have always been amazing sleepers. DD1 in with us until she out grew Moses basket at 10 weeks, DD2 had to be in travel cot in our room as she hated Moses basket and moved in with her sister at 4.5 months.

I strongly remember my mum staying when DS2 was 2 weeks old (DH was away overnight) & saying "are you not putting her to bed? You'll spoil her"!!!!!!!!!!

God no! DS used to nap wherever he fell asleep and, after bitter experiences on accidentally waking him up, I'd leave him right there and get on with stuff. As he could nap for 2 hours straight it would have been ridiculous to stay in the same room. What on earth do you think is going to happen if you walk upstairs/downstairs?

No. DD1 was in her own room from 8 weeks. DD2is 7 weeks and I sleep in the nursery with her at the moment but she has just started being put in her room at 7pm as wasn't sleeping downstairs and consequently overtired and screaming. I could go to bed with her at 7pm but on the balance of risk (breastfeeding, non smokers etc.) this works for us. She occasionally naps in her room during the day so she can rest without endless 'hugs and kisses' from her DSis.

I did with unputdownable DC1. With the later babies I was so desperate not to have them poked or sat on or shouted at disturbed by their siblings we were more likely to have them in the next room, although many naps are "in arms at toddler group" or "in pram" or "in car" or "in sling", with other noises including breathing going on.

DC3 is now three months and finally through the cluster feeding stage for now so does spend a couple of hours at a time sleeping in his cradle with nobody else around (eg yesterday 12-2pm and 8.30-10.30pm).

My imperfect understanding is that night sleep is somehow different - deeper or something - hence their being able to string more sleep cycles together in a row (frequently six hours at a time, occasionally nine or ten). So the SIDS risk is significantly higher at night than daytime naps, once they've got the distinction between night and day.

There are lots of ways to reduce SIDS risk and I do all the others eg rooming-in, breastfeeding, room temperature and air circulation, suitable bed/bedding, no smoking, etc. Keeping him with me for all his naps would result in less sleep for him, or worse-quality sleep certainly, which would result in his being tireder, which I seem to recall is more dangerous too.

I was one of those who didn't realise it was meant to be daytime too, but not sure if I would have totally stuck to it anyway, how on earth do you get anything done? I used to let DS nap on his playmat in the living room if that was where he fell asleep and go off to the kitchen, or shower and dress etc. I was never able to do the sleep while your baby naps thing, it's just not in my nature, it was always an opportunity to do stuff for me.

No. During the day dd napped downstairs in a Moses basket but we introduced a bedtime routine quite early (4 weeks I think). We would feed dd and put her to bed in the crib in our bedroom at 7. At around 4 months she started using her own cot in her own room for naps and bedtime.

No. Both boys went into a cot in their own room at bedtime (7pm) when they were 12 weeks and had outgrown the moses basket. Daytime naps were downstairs until about the same time but if I'd put them upstairs in the cot while I was pottering and they'd nodded off then they were left up there.

DS1 - no, because I didn't realise the guidance applied to all naps as well as at night (obvious when I think about it). He slept in our room until 6 months, but he napped for about four hours a day most days and wouldn't sleep in a moses basket. I would have got nothing done ever if I had to just sit in the room with his cot, and he probably wouldn't have napped much either.

DS2 - more so. He doesn't nap much ever though so when he does it is a surprise when he falls asleep on me. If I move an inch, he wakes up!

Yes, but mostly because they wouldn't settle and slept on me all evening and breastfed until they were well over 6 months. When I think back now I don't know how we did it!

No. They napped in buggy sometimes, in car sometimes, in their cots when at home, in bedroom.

Totally understand the"once it's in your head thing". But it is impossible to follow every single guideline to the letter without going totally nuts. What happened to your sense as a parent? What if your instinct and your knowledge of your child tells you you should be doing something different? This has happened to me, and I was right.

Guidelines are 'one size fits all' - but we are not all one size.

We thought hard about this, and decided that, as our babies were all high-birthweight, healthy, thriving, in a non-smoking, non-drinking family, in a cool, open-windowed home, we would not worry about following every guideline to the letter.

So the short answer to your question is, no, we did not keep our babies in the same room as us for the first 6m.

I managed for the first 4 months (DD was an unputdownable baby anyway so didn't have much choice) but after the 4m sleep regressions she started needing to go to bed at around 7pm but would not settle in the living room. I used to leave her with a monitor between 7 and me going to bed around 9.30pm but I also had not quite understood the guidelines at that point!

Not sure what I will do with DC2! I can't see how I can go to bed at 7pm with a toddler around nor how DC2 will angelically sleep in the living room with us all!

Yes. I used a travel cot for downstairs daytime naps. We only put her in a cot on her own if she had an Angel care monitor on her, the rest of the time we co-sleep with her. She's 20 months now and had never been left alone in a room to sleep, except rarely with an Angel care monitor.

Babies are supposed to be with a parent. It regulates their breathing. They aren't supposed to be put in a room alone.

If you believe is important this then surely you would never let your child sleep anywhere noisy eg out in the pram, in the car, etc as they would not be able to hear your breathing. Do you stop the car if your baby falls asleep?

No because it didn't occur to me that it might apply to daytime naps tbh. And thinking about it he only slept 1 sleep cycle of 30 mins (4 times a day) for naps until around 7-8 months so I think the chances of him forgetting to breathe were very small. He also wouldn't settle in his cot at a set time most of the time so he napped in the car, at playgroups, in the pushchair etc.

He also went into his own room right next door to us at 2 weeks old. He was such a noisy sleeper and also wide awake every night from 2-5am that no one was getting any sleep with him in our room.

Sutton - you are missing the point. The point is not to allow the child to fall into too deep a sleep. Being in a dark, quiet room all alone this can happen.

During the day when you are out and about, there are other noises.

Baby sleeps with us at night in the same room,

But at bedtime (until we go to bed) and during that day he sleeps in another room, and has done since he was three months old. We use a monitor and check up on him regularly.

We felt, for us, the alternative was unacceptable - either baby not being able to have an early bedtime routine, or us having to go to bed at 7. Also, we received a lot of advice about babies needing to be able to nap in their cots during the day time.

I'm quite glad I didn't realise now, I would have felt obliged to try and do it and probably have given myself a nervous breakdown trying. Especially with no 2, baby's nap time is your time to give toddler undivided attention and have fun together, it might be OK staying in the room if you have a large open plan living area, but we don't. Mine also had lots of naps in cars and prams.

Yes but she went to bed fairly late and would only nap on me anyway so I had no choice! would have done it anyway though

All of mine have slept in the same room as me until they were over 1, day and night. I didn't realise this was the guidance though, I just like them where I can see them :)

{Plus I used nap time as my break time and planted my ass firmly on the sofa with sleeping baby on me so I couldn't move for at least an hour :) }

Yes, I kept a travel cot in the living room and they had all naps in there until about 1 and slept in there until we went to bed until the same age too.

They get used to sleeping through normal household noises and end up better sleepers if you are not tiptoeing around them all the time.

Of course not.

As far as I understand it's not to do with the baby hearing the parents breathing but the proximity of the parent. The theory is that the carbon dioxide that the parent exhales stimulates the baby's own breathing.

www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes