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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want dh to get a season ticket?

52 replies

nothingbyhalves · 20/02/2014 20:47

Prepared to admit iabu. Dh wants to get season ticket to see his football team ( an hour away) . Just home games, but roughly every other weekend. I'm unhappy as I enjoy us spending Saturday afternoon's together as a family, going for walks, going swimming, teaching kids how to ride their bikes etc.

he wants to get season tickets for possibly all of us, but dc are quite little, so they also have birthday parties, play dates etc. I also think dc are too little to decide they want to commit to every other weekend ( they are 3).

Or I being a cow?

OP posts:

JeanSeberg · 20/02/2014 20:50

You're not being a cow but it would still leave 6 weekend days free out of 8, assuming neither of you work Sundays.

Also match starts at 3 so he leaves home at 1.30, back for 6.

OrangePixie · 20/02/2014 20:52

Absolutely fine as long as you get equal time to do what you're interested in doing.

Innogen · 20/02/2014 20:53

I think you are being mean.

I'm a big believer in adults having no right whatsoever to tell another adult what they cannot do.

Rather than restricting him, why don't you invest in something for you?

ReginaldBlinker · 20/02/2014 20:55

YABU. You're asking him to give up something he enjoys for something you'd prefer to do. Going to the matches as a family could be quite fun, or, if you're not ready to fork out that kind of money for your kids, then let him go and have his fun. It's every other weekend, and it's not the entire year, and you have another day in the weekend to spend with him as well.

SeaSickSal · 20/02/2014 21:00

Will he have to use it every weekend? He could miss some of the rubbisher matches.

And it's mainly winter too so normally on when the weather is not fine enough to go out much.

I think YABU, but I think if you get one there should be some ground rules of what your expectations are. For example if certain things need to be urgently done, there are family occassions or something special for the kids they should come first and he should miss a match.

SeaSickSal · 20/02/2014 21:01

*I meant use every home match weekend.

chippers1 · 20/02/2014 21:03

Its not even that often is it ? - what league is it ? - If premiership (which I have a feeling its not) its only 19 days out of 365 in a year, not all of them will fall on a Saturday, quite a number will be midweek in evening - when am presuming kids will be in bed - so in truth, yes, YABVU

velvetspoon · 20/02/2014 21:05

I think YAB a bit U.

It's only one afternoon a fortnight, and the season finishes in May, so it's not like it will be for the best months weather wise.

Hippymama · 20/02/2014 21:19

I think it would also depend on cost. Season tickets are expensive. Would the money he spends on that mean that family days out or holidays have to be curtailed? If so, that would be unreasonable in my book.

beanandspud · 20/02/2014 21:19

I would say let home do it. You'll hopefully reap the rewards in a couple of years when they all disappear off to the football and you get every other Saturday afternoon to yourself

Original poster

nothingbyhalves · 20/02/2014 21:29

Have relayed the opinion of mums net to dh. He loves you all x have decided once a fortnight is ok, with idea that once every two months he will forgo a match and evening ones are a no go unless he is already going to be late from work .

OP posts:

maleview70 · 20/02/2014 21:43

He could miss a fair few with those rules and as each game costs a minimum of £30 on average at most clubs, it's a lot of cash to lose.

NotSoChicAfterAll · 20/02/2014 23:12

DP has been a season ticket for years, but when we found out we were expecting DD This year he decided (on his own accord) to share it with FIL so he wasn't out every weekend, could he not share it with someone else?

The only problem is, is that now he goes to away matches more, so he's going to wembeley and Barcelona next month...
But we compromised as he's bought me some new shoes and a spa day

YeahThatsWhatISaid · 20/02/2014 23:19

Now is the time to let your DH know how you will be spending your free time. Perhaps you could go shopping, to the gym, or to see friends on saterday mornings while he has quality time with the kids.

JockTamsonsBairns · 20/02/2014 23:22

Play the long game, my love. It's not long til he'll be taking himself and the Dc's off every Saturday to the games. Bliss

Leeds2 · 20/02/2014 23:37

If OH had a season, and I didn't, I would be green with envy!

Let him go. He may take the children with him soon (imo 3 is too young), then maybe you could go with them too.

As to whether or not YABU, it depends entirely on the team!!

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/02/2014 23:43

Mrnothingbyhalves be nice and make sure you appreciate the time and money. Make sure your DW has some time and money to spend on herself and that you spend time with the small people too.

QueenofLouisiana · 21/02/2014 07:35

My DH has one, to be honest I am looking forward to some Mummy-DS time on Saturday. We do stuff we enjoy without DH sticking his oar in. Local zoo with extra ice-cream stops and more time at the penguins and otters, here we come!

DaftWullie · 21/02/2014 10:13

I do think YABU, has your DH ever stopped you doing anything? Will your DH going to the football impact on the family not being able to afford anything? The football season is during the winter months, so you're not likely to miss many dry days. And on that note, do you never plan to do anything on a weekend in case it's dry and you can go for a walk?

I also think putting limitations on what games he can go to will backfire, it will only lead to resentment and arguements. Let him have his head, and I'm sure he'll miss some games voluntarily, without all the aggravation. Men CAN actually be understanding, give him some credit and see what he does.

3 does seem young for kids to go to a football game. I'd suggest at least waiting until they are 4, maybe 5. My brother took his son at that age, and it really got the kid in to football. He's 9 now and goes to all the games he can, and plays regularly for a local team. He had no interest in sport before, but the atmosphere at a professional game really got him into sport. He's also looking to start playing rugby as well.

notso · 21/02/2014 10:38

I thought that about my DH though DaftWullie but it turned out he was waiting for me to say something.
He was playing football after work on a Saturday and on a Sunday morning every week and often there was a drink or 5 in the pub after the matches.
I couldn't do anything myself as there was no weekend left to do it in.

I ended up crying and he was puzzled as to why I didn't say anything.

DaftWullie · 21/02/2014 15:08

Sorry about to hear that notso about your DH. But the OP said her DH will be travelling for about an hour to the game and back. As no mention was made of public transport, I presume he's driving. So I wouldn't have thought he'll be drinking. Especially not if he wants to take the DC with him. If he does, then the OP has bigger problems than him wanting a season ticket for the football.

Straitjacket · 21/02/2014 15:25

Out of curiosity, why is it a no no for late evening games during the week?

Those are my favourite games for DP to bugger off to. I get the little ones in bed, order myself a takeaway, pour myself some wine out and have full control of the tv. Bliss!

Until he comes home in a grump because they lost anyway

joydivisionovengloves · 21/02/2014 15:28

If anyone tried to tell me I couldn't have my season ticket I'd be furious! It's 23 games a year max.

BeCool · 21/02/2014 15:32

My work colleague has his season ticket seats next to a mate - they will share their spares - so when one doesn't go the other can take a child etc. So they get to go to lots of games, and while they will miss one every now and then they also get to take a child occasionally. All for the price of one ticket. it works very well for him.

evertonmint · 21/02/2014 15:36

I wouldn't worry about home games. It's when people start going to away games every other weekend that it starts to take the piss somewhat - time and money wise.

I grew up in a family where we would all go to rugby league matches most weekends and it was great fun as it was sport and family time. You and the children will love it when they're a little bigger. In contrast I have a friend whose DP goes to all hus team's football games, home and away, and she is basically left with the DCs every Saturday. If she wants to then claim similar time for herself, they would have no family time between August and May. It's ludicrous and completely unfair. She hates it but he does nothing about it :(

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