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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want dh to get a season ticket?

52 replies

nothingbyhalves · 20/02/2014 20:47

Prepared to admit iabu. Dh wants to get season ticket to see his football team ( an hour away) . Just home games, but roughly every other weekend. I'm unhappy as I enjoy us spending Saturday afternoon's together as a family, going for walks, going swimming, teaching kids how to ride their bikes etc.

he wants to get season tickets for possibly all of us, but dc are quite little, so they also have birthday parties, play dates etc. I also think dc are too little to decide they want to commit to every other weekend ( they are 3).

Or I being a cow?

OP posts:
Original poster
nothingbyhalves · 21/02/2014 15:40

No no to evening matches as he would end up staying at his mums as his team is in another city ( where hi is from and his mum lives) as it is he is away twice a week with work and I would be annoyed if he spend more nights away leaving me to look after little ones.

He will be driving so drinking after not an issue. I have agreed iabu.

OP posts:
BigBoobiedBertha · 21/02/2014 15:43

Yes, YABU. My DH and my two DS's have seasons tickets for a team about 45 minutes away (although they usually leave 1.25 hrs from door to seat).

It isn't every other weekend and there aren't very many evening matches (4 this year and they are in the Championship so you would normally expect more than when they were in the PL like last year). I think there are as many as 4 weeks when there are no home games although you are likely to have 2 weeks in a row after that and of course there are no games at all for 3 mths of the year.

Yes you might be lumbered with childcare for a few hours on a Saturday but it is only an afternoon. Sometimes children's season tickets are a fraction of the adult ones too (I think our team had children's tickets for £100 and adults about £600 last year) so if the children don't go much it isn't a huge deal. Perhaps DH could take them and give you an afternoon off occasionally ( I love it when mine go - a free Saturday!). I assume children's tickets are that cheap because I also assume it is one of the smaller teams your DH is talking about as the really big teams seem to have a waiting list for a season ticket so he isn't likely to just be able to buy a ticket anyway. I know Liverpool used to have enough people on their waiting list for them to fill their season ticket seats 4 times over so it could be a long wait!

MrsBungle · 21/02/2014 15:44

I absolutely agree with jock my dh has had a season ticket for 20 off years, he thought about giving it up or sharing it when we had kids (5 years ago) but I didn't see why he should. It's one afternoon once a fortnight and the odd weeknight game.

I cannot wait til the kids are old enough and he can take them both and will go boozing lunching with my friends on my own, it will be bloody marvellous.

HercShipwright · 21/02/2014 15:51

I gave up my season ticket for my team when DC2 was born. I very quickly came to regret this, but too late - there is a massive waiting list. I now share a season ticket with 3 other people. It's not great but it's better than nothing.

NearTheWindmill · 21/02/2014 15:53

My DH had a season ticket when I met him. He still has a season ticket (and one for DS who is now an adult and in NZ). We have been married for nearly 24 years.

DH has always worked incredibly long hours and I have never resented his football. DS has had a season ticket since he was about 3 I think. There are often times when DS has had matches in the last few years and DH has gone to watch DS rather than his team. On those occasions there have also been very grateful family friends to step in.

It has been deeply bonding for DH and DS and something they have been able to share. It's a London club and if DH let those tickets go now I can't imagine he'd get them again any time soon.

Oblomov · 21/02/2014 15:56

Dh gave up his season ticket. I think he probably made a mistake. Now with the children older he can occasionally take them to a game. And we went to a family game. It was me who loved it the most!!

Laughing at those saying think long term. How dh's take kids and dw orders take away and wine. Bliss.

DarlingGrace · 21/02/2014 16:07

If you afford it, fine.

But an hour away, 90 mins match, hour home, half time, blokes doing bloke things all adds up to at least 6 hours. What about midweek matches also? then the cup matches?

But if you can't afford it, in monetary terms or time terms, then no YANBU. If it it doesnt upset the equilibrium of the household then YABU

SelectAUserName · 21/02/2014 16:10

A few hours once a fortnight from autumn to spring should be bearable time-wise, but will that make the matches he can attend more expensive than paying on the gate? Is it a club where there is a huge demand for tickets and a waiting list for season tickets or could he just pay as he went?

WeeClype · 21/02/2014 16:13

My OH and 2 DC's have season tickets (age 10 & 15), I love a week night match lol....I feed them a rubbish dinner before they go and then I order a takeaway then cosy on the couch with the small DC's getting to watch my soaps in peace.

I actually have heart failure if he mentions cancelling them Smile.

ClaraFox · 21/02/2014 16:17

This SO puts me off marriage!

Honestly , he's a grown man with his own interests . I'd get it if this was a few hours every evening but every few weeks?

You'd not get on with my other half! He plays golf. Up to four times a WEEK when it's better weather and once a week when it isn't. We spend loads of time together and I also have my own stuff to

Let him get on with it ! As he's an adult

clam · 21/02/2014 16:35

ClaraFox Do you have children? If not, I wonder if you'll feel quite the same way when him nipping off out four times a week for several hours at a time means you're left minding the kids, and your "own stuff to do" can easily get pushed to one side, unless you're very determined.

ClaraFox · 21/02/2014 16:44

Yes I've got children. Have had for almost 16 years. : )

I've also got a partner who , like me, is a grown up and wants to do stuff on his own. As do I . We also like to do stuff as a family. Providing nobody takes the piss and everyone pulls their weight then I've got to say its my idea of HELL to start dictating what another person can and can't do when it comes to a hobby. If this is a nightly thing or he takes no interest in the family then of COURSE it's a concern.

But I don't think that's the case here. He wants to go out once a fortnight or so. Big deal! Don't see the drama myself

grovel · 21/02/2014 16:50

YANBU if he supports Arsenal.

gindrinker · 21/02/2014 16:50

DP has a season ticket and its brilliant.
He goes to football and I get to do girl things (including napping, gym, visiting friends, my parents etc)

But we dont have children. There was a brief discussion that he wouldnt have a season ticket when our non existent children were between 2 & 4 Years old and then he can take them with him and I can resume snuggling with the cat and playplaying with the iPad.

clam · 21/02/2014 22:17

My eldest is 17, and it's a vastly different kettle of fish now for dh and I to each do our own thing than it was when the dcs were babies/toddlers. Then, dh in particular (for it was mainly he who had time-consuming hobbies that would take him out of the house for periods of time) would ration what he did in order to do his bit.
Nowadays, it's not an issue, and he does pretty much what he wants when he wants, as do I.

cerealqueen · 21/02/2014 22:22

It would be fine by me as long as there was no football on tv / radio rest of the time!

Rowgtfc72 · 22/02/2014 08:06

I had a season ticket before dd was born and took her to home games for the first year. Dh used to pick her up at half time.
Couldn't do night games as dh worked and home games started coinciding with the Saturdays he wasn't working. I was working part time and we weren't spending any time together so I didn't renew mine.
So long as you get to send time together I can't see any problem with having a season ticket.

maddy68 · 22/02/2014 09:18

My oh has a season ticket. It's only for 1/2 the year and it's nice having a couple of hours to myself sometimes. He supports a team 11/2 hrs away so it's three hours travelling time on top. Sometimes it pisses me off but generally I quite like it.

complexnumber · 22/02/2014 09:22

I think a lot depends on what team he supports.

If it's not Chelsea, then he is BU.

hth

complexnumber · 22/02/2014 09:24

There again, if it is a non-premier team, then yabu.

ilovesooty · 22/02/2014 09:29

cerealqueen are you serious? You really think that sort of blanket restriction is reasonable?

BertieBottsJustGotMarried · 22/02/2014 09:41

Huh, Clara, why does that put you off marriage? Your partner doesn't magically merge into "a husband" with set ideas and stuff, they stay who they are Confused

chateauferret · 22/02/2014 11:43

Depends whom he supports.

Man U - one mile from the ground means probably one of the few "genuine" fans so YABU.

Millwall - crowd of thugs. YANBU.

Chelsea - he must be minted so just make sure you get something in return.

Seaweed - make sure you profuse for post-traumatic stress counselling.

Sunderland - YANBU. Not for nothing is it called the Stadium of Shite.

Celtic or Rangers - this does not count as football. Matches sometimes break out at the fights though.

Notts Forest - LTB before it gets any worse.

Palace - thou shalt have no other god. YABU.

aderynlas · 22/02/2014 11:54

Chateauferret, i wanted Tony Pulis. Hes doing really well for you. Your dh should get his season ticket op, the season doesnt last that long. Off to our next must win game now. The fun of supporting your football team !!!

LadyCelia · 22/02/2014 12:01

I'm grumpy today as DH is off to Arsenal again for about the 7th home game in 2 weeks (or so it seems) but apparently he's only got one home game in March so it does balance out eventually. And he is always offering to babysit the DC so I can get out with my friends or go to the gym in return (usually on away game nights I have to admit so he can watch it on TV!) Glad you have decided YWBU OP.

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