To not know who from the Musketeers I'd boff first.

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

It's doing my head in. 5 leading actors and I fancy ALL of them. I tried to pick the one I fancied most when he was a simple cartoon dog and that was Aramis, but just one look as sexy Richelieu in his black cloak of evil and I'm a gooey mess.

It's turned me into such a tart, but IABU to want all of them. No? Ok thanks.

No need for me to lie, to dh, and claim that I was going to see Paul Hollywood for a choc-au-lay-me-down-and-shag-me-anyway.

I will tell dh that I am off on a 'All of the musketeers, but Athos first, day trip'.
And he would egg and custard me on, saying "go for it girl"

Eva you are clearly not sophisticated enough!

Imagine though a Bake Off Musketeers special?

"Ooh Athos what are you going to do with that cream?"

"Oh cardinal, this is for cakes and bakes I don't think cucumbers are......!"

Hmmm. Only problem would be that D'Artagnan would probably actually want to just bake. Meh.

I was thinking of the baking!

Paul Hollywood?..?? GET OFF THE THREAD OBLOMOV!

Far too twinkly eyed/jolly/smiley looking. And that's before we've even considered his character.

Further proof that you couldn't possibly appreciate Athos enough to deserve him!
At the very least you have been relegated to d'Artagnan.

I would rather do Sue Perkins than Paul Hollywood. Every day of the week!

But I'll be too busy/worn out by the Musketeers/Faketeers anyway. Sorry Sue [finger heart]

Mmmm, Musketeers have-it-away day trip ... I'll come! ( fnarr, fnarr etc )

The actor that plays Porthos has "whipping" listed under Special Skills on his CV type thing.

You know how each Doctor has a different style and outfit... What are the chances that Peter Capaldi is dressed like a musketeer?

Nil sadly as he's dressed like this

That may be a red herring. I am not clicking so I can live in my little fantasy world for longer.

Even a crombie and a pair of Loakes can give me the raging ladyhorn if Capaldi is in them...

Er, Paul Hollywood is not my type. It was you who bought up the Bake off idea Hannah.

I am, and always was committed, totally , to Athos.

Actually, Athos is mine. I baggsied him back on the first page!!

Ooh Athos is causing controversy amongst his admirers!

< gets knitting out>

Fight fight fight!

Right! First off - I only bloody mentioned British bloody bake off because I thought the whole, y'know >baking thing< would be a nice boring cover. Rather than mention the whole getting ravaged on the battlements by pretend musketeers!

Heaven knows, it's going to be tough enough attaching MTM's horses to the back of our National Express, without her husband getting suspicious. He'll be there, on the drive, desperately swishing his dressing gown whining "but it's Sunday".

Bring the Shetland by the way. D'Artagnan can have him.

As for the rest of you bitches. I have set up a shrine to Athos and once he sees my life like blow up doll in full regalia, clutching bottle of wine with my recorded Athos voice clips edited to "Remove your knickers immediately", he will see the extent of my 'love' and fall at my feet, begging for it!

I think we need to discuss this whole Porthos C.V whipping thing.....

Oh and I have access to some actual swords if we need them for the trip

I am going to investigate if there's a way of watching YouTube videos offline for when I'm on my lunch at work

Here's a picture of Athos/Tom Burke when he was in the film Third Star

celebrates shoehorning a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch into the thread

I don't suppose there's any chance at all of Jon Snow off Game of Thrones taking a wrong turn at the wall and finishing up in an unfortunate naked misunderstanding with the musketeers?

[hopeful mid-GoT Season Three emoticon]

That's definitely an idea!

What's the blond Lanister bloke called? Who do you think would win A Contest of Evil? Him or Richelieu?

Oh don't introduce bloody Joffrey! The world's most unsexy TV bad boy. What's the point of being a bad guy if you don't smoulder and ping knicker elastic?

Or did you mean Jaime Lannister? He's growing on me...

Panda...ah...yes. Lovely lovely jon snow.
They do have a habit of coming back to life in GofT so I will include nedd and Robb stark in there too :)