To not know who from the Musketeers I'd boff first.

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

It's doing my head in. 5 leading actors and I fancy ALL of them. I tried to pick the one I fancied most when he was a simple cartoon dog and that was Aramis, but just one look as sexy Richelieu in his black cloak of evil and I'm a gooey mess.

It's turned me into such a tart, but IABU to want all of them. No? Ok thanks.

I bet Athos is skilled enough to remove knickers with his sword! I bet that's his party trick in the pub.

Seriously though, if you were hanging about with these leathery horn-bags why would you even WEAR knickers?

Hannah, which one in the middle, Athos clip? Which voice?

I like this one:

The unlove me one. Where he is about to be executed. And he quivers and shakes.

Oh my fcking lord, made me go all of a quiver aswell.

Well, what a lovely breakfast time treat that was. "I've just got an image in my head". You're not the only one

Um....

I've got to go to a very serious, very boring meeting now, not sure I should have watched those clips before I went

Right, I've thought about this long and hard ( stop sniggering at the back ... ) and I reckon the best analogy is one of those Green and Black's selection thingies where you get all sorts of different bars of deliciousness and they're all fab in their own way except for the butterscotch one which is just weird and wrong ( King Spaniel-Face is that one, obviously )

Athos is the bitter cherry one, Porthos is the non-more-black 70% solid one, Aramis is the tasty ginger one and D'Artagnion is milk chocolate ( natch! ) with almonds ...

And I really need to get out more, don't I?

why do men have to be that sexy? Why why why why? Maybe I fancy Athos the most today.

WHICH ONE IS RICHELIEU??! Ooh champagne truffle. Yes yes yes.

Oblomov - 'twas this one
These are not the best examples. I'm going to have to watch them all again to find the perfect tone. But you get the idea ... 6 seconds, 19 secs, 29 secs and 31.

31 secs is prob closest to it but needs to be more authoritative, dismissive, deeper, slower,

....errr where was I?

..oh yeah... That clip of yours- unloveme - has confused matters slightly. Now I want to hold him to my bosom and stroke his hair. Made my heart ache for him.
Poor Athos. He is so beautiful.

Don't get what he saw in her though... she ain't all that
They just weren't suited. Whereas we....

Oi you slaaaag look over 'ere.... L@@k

Get 'orf my Athos. Or I am coming for your Capaldi BIG time

Bitter cherry is my FAVE!

Oh yes Hannah. I have watched it too. Fab-u-luuus.

I don't get why he likes her either.
But more, he has felt guilty for the last 5 years. But NOW he knows she's alive and when he asked her why she was here, she said " to erase everything".

Which means he no longer needs to feel guilt. But the hurt, of realising she is actually more evil than he thought, must pain him, even more. for loving her.

And he will NOW want to know where she has been for the last 5 years,
WHEN will he 'get' that she is working for cardinal?

And she said she wanted d'artagnna in a 'maternal way', to d'artagnan's landlady.
Maternal?
when she first met dartagnan, he want a musketeer. He hadn't even met the other 3. So why did she initially sleep with him?
Now she knows he is. So does she want him just to hurt Athos? Why the maternal bit?

God. HE. IS SOOOOOOOO. Sexy.
Athos. Athos.

Its just toooo much. For me.

But the main thing is - I'm going to comfort him and make it all better.

Milady who??? He's over her. Just not over the affect it had on him.

As for wearing knickers.. of course I agree that wearing them would be a nuisance, but think of the grit! Have you seen those streets?? Poor sanitation, horse shit, mud, straw, gravel!
Imagine the kick back as you were walking along. They don't want their swords exfoliated do they!

Velcro! It's the only answer.

That's a good point, don't want any vagrot. That would be a mighty inconvenience!

Look at how Capaldi snogs tho. I bet Richelieu would start off like this to lul you into a false sense of security before ripping your dignity from your knockers!

snog one

snog two

snog three

snog four

Hannah I can't promise to stay away from Athos. If he wants me there's nothing I can do about it. SOZ.

Knockers? Well I meant knickers but he could do what he wanted with my knockers too. BAD DIRTY CARDINAL!

I hope this thread makes it into the most talked about section.

This is MN at its best!

Haven't scoffed so much for ages.

OP, I asked for it to be moved to Telly Addicts - addicts being the operative word( for me anyway). Not yet though I see.

Hannah , I've never had a fight before. But wench, I'm gonna have to take on your buxom corset, over Athos, I'm afraid!!

Can you imagine how embarrassing this would be, if papers got hold of this thread.
And Tom Burke saw what we were writing about him. Oh the shame, on us wenches.
Mind you, they should be flattered!!

Knickers, knackers, knockers.
Argos
And portions.

Just gets better, and better!!!!!

Aaah but imagine if they were all so impressed they sacked all their writers and asked US to do the writing and and and....we were going to replace all the existing female cast?

First thing I'd do would be makes sure Capaldi was in the next series. None of this "oh but Doctor Who" business. He'll bloody well do both if I tell him. End. Of. Story.

CALM DOWN MAIDENS!!!!

.... although...if, theoretically speaking, it did somehow make it into media spotlight, we would have brought extra attention >viewers< to the show.

As a gesture of appreciation the beeb should run a competition on MN. Winner gets a cameo role in next series under with their favourite cast member

As for RL life meetings... think I would just have to brazen it out. Annoyingly though, Athos would probably want to be called Tom.

And he might get sick of me insisting he wear the leather everywhere. Taking out the bins for eg might seem overkill.
And imagine in summer, all hot and sticky and slick with sweat. I'd have to let him off the gardening on especially hot days.

Such a shame that lots of you are already married

I went out with some gay friends in a Manchester last weekend and they love the Musketeers too. Apparently Canal Street is devoted to them. Handsome men sword fighting in leather: what's not to like??

Actually the prize is..one evening in a hot tub with your 6 chosen cast members (in character) and a bottomless supply of champagne and a large selection box from Hotel Chocolat. Followed by a night of sleepless filth in a 5 star country hotel.

sigh

Thank you all for this thread, its HILARIOUS

Its Athos for me, or D'Artagnan - I don't agree that he'd be namby pamby or "feathery"

I'm sorry but I don't understand the Capaldi love AT ALL!! Doesn't do it for me.

Bloody gays

See, they know how to embrace an obsession!

Which brings me to my next suggestion... having perused the internet for musketeery clothing yesterday, it brought my attention to those reenactment events.

Look, I know it's not quite the same, but if we don't get the call from the BBC, maybe we should think about arranging an MN coach trip to the next Renaissance event??

Unless they are filled with only gay swordsmen, there will surely be plenty of strapping young men for us to play with pretend to be Athos.

Obviously any gay lurkers are welcome to join trip too. In fact the more the merrier as it leaves fewer seats for rival wenches.

Tell your husbands we're on a fan tour of the Great British Bake Off, and we'll stop off at greggs on the way home for some Chelsea buns and smudge flour in our hair.

I have some horses, I can bring them? One is a shetland though, but he'll fit on a coach at least. I don't have any swords though. I gave various leather boots. Oh and I have a hat with a feather in it! But no cloaks.

Shall I make sandwiches? What's everyone for? I want a meaty Richelieu with LOADS of filling and extra Porthos sauce. Athos is going to cream my buns.

Can't we just stop off at the Bake Off place too and the Musketeers can give Hollywood a slap in the chops for being such a Dirty Den? Aaah see they can't help but save the day.