To not know who from the Musketeers I'd boff first.

[MalcolmTuckersMistress]

It's doing my head in. 5 leading actors and I fancy ALL of them. I tried to pick the one I fancied most when he was a simple cartoon dog and that was Aramis, but just one look as sexy Richelieu in his black cloak of evil and I'm a gooey mess.

It's turned me into such a tart, but IABU to want all of them. No? Ok thanks.

Here's a question then....someone said up thread that they couldn't get into Porthos as he reminded them too much of Craig Charles. As he's called Howard Charles is he a relly then??

Oh, and MTM are you one for ranking the Horrible Historians too..

Husbands and partners of Mumsnetters everywhere must look forward to Sunday night bedtime at the moment...

Record Sunday sales of AA batteries have been reported in branches of Argos, nationwide, too.

Turned quite violent in one store, as two women tussled over the last pack, shrieking about Athos and his mighty thrusting sword the bitch didn't win though.

A Hazard of Hearts! Good grief, that takes me back

I bet Aramis would just keep going all night. Plus he spoke a bit of Spanish in the third episode which is a bonus.

Bloody hell it's been a long two weeks waiting for tonight's episode, even with the benefit of iplayer.

It's the final countdown da na naa nah, da nah na nah naaaa......

Only appropriate to be sung by tight leather clad thigh god with beautiful lips and cheekbones.

Bit too nice though, BJB. Not dirty looking enough.

See, I think d'Artagnan could be a real let down. As well as looking quite stupid, I have a nasty feeling that he could be a bit of a feathery-stroker.

You'd think the BBC would have an 'after the watershed' version. They have an extended edition of HIGNFY and QI with all the ruder and funnier bits left in. It's just mean and spoil sporty IMO.

I think he'd be keen to learn though. Enthusiastic.

The late night Musketeers programme is an excellent idea

Beeb run by men is it??

Still, they're missing a trick. Imagine the viewing figures. iplayer would permanently crash though .

Let's pitch to 'em.

d'Artagnan would be too soppy. Would probably cry afterwards, with gratitude. And would be too touchy/strokey/affectionate.

I want calloused hands and the only eye watering to be mine

Mumsnetters rrrrrrready?

Musketeers rrrrrrready?

Three

Two

One..

CHICKEN COOP!

Wouldn't mind being the filling in this sandwich

I am not sniggering away at the sword. Honest

I really am

Those chickens are in for a shock

Imagine the scene...

Breathless maiden, hand to corseted bosom, backing up to strategically positioned table.

Eyes wildly darting around for pretend escape/slightly fearful expression and big gulping breaths....

"Oh please, Sir, what is the meaning of you barging in here clutching that mighty sword of yours, approaching me with a meaningful look in your eye?"

D'artagnan backs off in horror, then rushes to side pleadingly..
"Oh I'm sorry my love, I was just playing but we can cuddle instead. Let's just spoon"

..........OR

Porthos/Athos/Richlieu

"Shut it wench before I fill that mouth of yours with my big musky meat truncheon. Now get on that table and brace yourself!" Chucks drink to one side, wipes mouth with back of hand. Leering menacingly, whilst striding purposefully forwards unbuckling belt. Hot breath, stubbly cheeks and firm but soft lipped kisses

I woud like to post something. I have been thinking for over a week.
I think I would like to change my order. I did have Aramis first, but his womanising, shallowness has put me off.
I really like Athos - Tom Burke, and would like to promote ' moody' & pissed' him from second to first.

Heres the thing. So I search photos of him. I find the actor VERY attractive. My nephew has a clef. But it is a bit odd?

musketeer
clef

why do you think that Tom Burkes clef is getting worse?
All of a sudden, in later life?
It is ok to talk about this, yes?

This does NOT diminish my liking him and his promotion !!

I can't say it's getting worse, but I can say he's getting sexier as most men do as they ripen up a treat with age (CAPALDI!)

Poor old Dogtanian has at least twenty years to go before he peaks. But think how much spooning and gentle feathery stroking he can fit in during those years!

Aaah and OH yes to that earlier Horrible Histories query!

Oh and OH MY GOD Aramis really would just remove everything from a table with one sweeping move of his arm before throwing you down upon it and swishing your buckle until it imploded! Prrrrrr.

I think Hannah is in the wrong job!!
Are you sure that you role in life wasn't to write semi porn bbc series?!!

I suspect that Hannah is not the only one who could write the 'dirty version'!!

Hahah they could all have their own stories with semi erotic titles and Dark covers...I can see it now..

D'Artagnan's initiation
Richelieu's Revenge
Athos and the poisoned bosom
Aramis rides again
Porthos and the Poultry Position

Treville and Richelieu Share A Wench

I've got a full episode plotted out in my head starring me with Aramis. He certainly knows how to handle his weapon.

Yy to the clearing the table with one sweeping move and throwing me down for a damn good swashbuckle

I'm in that one btw.

Listen........

If you really concentrate you can hear the sound of battery operated 'neck massagers' being revved up and down the country.

Can almost smell the motors burning

I AM READY FOR YOU NOW!

WHY ARE MY CHILDREN NOT IN THEIR BEDS AND ASLEEP?

Ahem.

I shall have to pause it and then watch it on a bit of a delay.

Delayed gratification.