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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to think this person is just a hypochondriac and should grow up

37 replies

spongebob13 · 20/02/2014 13:21

girl in work is constantly off work sick. I mean she is in 2 weeks out for 3. we are lucky enough that in our jobs it just means no pay and not losing your job but still she is not replaced. stomach flu, eye infection, aches n pains ... sick of her being sick. think she needs to toughen up, take a tonic and just get on with it. its the rest of us that have to cover for her and hear about how ill she is all the time. reckon half of it is in her head.

OP posts:

FoxesRevenge · 20/02/2014 13:22

Oh this is going to be an interesting thread.

pictish · 20/02/2014 13:23

fuzzpig · 20/02/2014 13:23

Maybe she's got a chronic illness you don't know about?

BackOnlyBriefly · 20/02/2014 13:23

Or you could be wrong and she could be one of those told that despite poor health she must go to work because being on benefits is evil.

Either way you're going to see a lot more of those people so get used to it.

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 20/02/2014 13:24

How do you know that the manager/HR haven't already spoken to her and given her a warning, or asked for an explanation?

There may be an underlying reason for her frequent illnesses that you're unaware of (depression/stress/...?)

On the other hand, she may just be taking the piss.

But never assume.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 20/02/2014 13:24

Maybe she really is ill.

If she genuinely had stomach flu and came in then vomited over you would be asking why she was in work and possibly infecting the rest of you?.

madhairday · 20/02/2014 13:25

Original poster

spongebob13 · 20/02/2014 13:27

she is not on rosters for some work and is in, commits to some things and volunteers for work then bang out again... for weeks on end. its ridiculous!! she cant be relied on.

OP posts:

hootloop · 20/02/2014 13:27

I have fibromyalgia, if I worked I am sure my sickness record would look something like that.
I am certainly not a hyperchondriac nor do I need to grow up.

BackOnlyBriefly · 20/02/2014 13:28

'volunteers for work' so she wants to work then yes?

Toomuch2young · 20/02/2014 13:30

Oh dear. Good job lack of empathy isn't an ill isn't an illness or you would always be off op.

Between 18-21 i was ill frequently, gastric flu, tonsillitis, etc all after one another. Another colleague caught everything when her DD was little and also had lots of time off. We have both got over it now and for past few years have har good attendencs. Tho i do have a disability that sometimes requires time off. Hope my work mates aren't as bad as you behind my back!
Be glad your healthy!

Original poster

spongebob13 · 20/02/2014 13:31

ok ok before I get banned for being a possible bridge dweller its a reverse and am so glad to read these replies. I have a condition that I self inject and my immunity is so bad I cam currently on week 3 off after being in work for 2 and off a month before it. I am so paranoid about work and what people are saying and thinking. its a small bitchy office. I know some are supportive to my face but I don't want to constantly drone about details to make people understand-maybe they don't wanna know. but even family and inlaws are saying "need a good tonic", "fresh air and exercise", "just go into work you'll feel better".

its really getting me down.

OP posts:

fuzzpig · 20/02/2014 13:32

If you're actually open to differing opinions, I'll just say that I have a disabling, chronic illness (two actually but hey who's counting :o).

But nowadays I am never off sick because of said illness. I am off sick because of the frequent other illnesses I get, that most people can shake off or work through (like a cold) or those that I get much more frequently than most people (tonsillitis, chest infections) because of my immune system being basically useless. Even a cold is not just a cold for me - it's like full blown flu and I end up bedridden.

So to the ignorant those who don't really know me, it might seem like I'm just missing work for the sniffles, but it is really, really not the case. Thankfully I'm blessed with understanding colleagues and managers.

midwifeandmum · 20/02/2014 13:32

To be honest I doubt she has a chonic illness otherwise she would of told work about it.

My personal experience I think shes a piss taker. I was a piss taker when I worked in a nursing home before uni and I did the same. lol. Maybe she hates her job and cant stand it

fuzzpig · 20/02/2014 13:33

Oooops x post OP! Sorry you are being judged. It's not fair is it. I'm really lucky that my colleagues understand, it's a shame all workplaces aren't like that.

MatryoshkaDoll · 20/02/2014 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Electryone · 20/02/2014 13:34

Im sorry you are feeling so down but I don't think a reverse is a good idea. Inevitably what happens is there will be people who don't read your post that its a reverse and reply based on your op!

littlemisssarcastic · 20/02/2014 13:37

At risk of being flamed, it would not Piss me off if it didn't directly affect my workload, but if it did, it would depend what cover my manager put in place as to how much it affected me.
If my workload doubled every time the other person had time off sick, the company and their lack of cover would probably Piss me off.

How does your work get done if you are not there OP? And over a year, how much time have you had off?
Sometimes people can have a lot of time of in a short space of time but may not have much time off the rest of the year so I think you need to get it in perspective tbh.

FoxesRevenge · 20/02/2014 13:37

How long have you worked their OP and have you discussed your health with HR?

Original poster

spongebob13 · 20/02/2014 13:37

fuzzpig in a nutshell that's it. the injections are helping my original condition but because they lower immunity I am picking up everything... even got hand foot n mouth off ds that's unheard of in adults!!! I have had d&v 3 times in month and half. sigh. its awful.

midwife, personnel and top boss and immediate supervisor know but other than that I am not going to each colleague with a powerpoint presentation explaining so perhaps think like you do.i am lucky my supervisor is lovely and never questions my certs or appointments but will eventually be drawn before a board like before.

I like my job.

OP posts:

Original poster

spongebob13 · 20/02/2014 13:41

my record was always good enough to be promoted and get transfers to 2 different departments that I wanted. but in the last 4 years its getting worse. I did a reverse as I wanted genuine opinions. apologies for that. I don't think it effects the workload of others tbh. I ensure I personally catch up on things when I am back which is not necessary. but even at the moment there is a new overhaul on legislation and am actually worried I am missing on vital training etc. but even as I type I have taken the last antibiotic I know I am still not well :-( I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. its not just work, its time with my son and every day life.

OP posts:

FoxesRevenge · 20/02/2014 13:52

I dont want to worry you but I think if it continues like this, realistically there may become a time when the company will have to let you go as a result of your health. Keep in discussion with them and perhaps find a way to work around it. What are the chances of you working from home? I don't mean when you're ill obviously but perhaps it might help you if there are bugs/colds going around the office. It may make life less stressful for you which in turn might help with your health.

fuzzpig · 20/02/2014 14:22

Spongebob do you have a copy of the absence policy? I got very familiar with the one my company (a county council) uses.

Thankfully I've now got to the stage where I don't need constant intervention (more on that in a sec) but mine involved three stages of meetings - the first was very informal, the second was more formal. The third would be the one where being medically retired was officially discussed, but thankfully I never got to that stage as my employer could actually just repeat the stage two as often as she needed to (in my case I'd have a period of good attendance, then a relapse which would re-trigger the absence warnings)

It sounds like your illness would count as a disability (check what definition your employer uses) - you are entitled to Reasonable Adjustments. The biggest of these for me has been that I have a chair for a customer facing part of my job where usually we have to stand, as I risk fainting otherwise. I also am guaranteed a break slightly more frequently than I was before, and there are a couple of tasks I'm exempt from on certain days (eg when stock delivery is biggest as I struggle with lifting)

We also eventually agreed to reduce my hours. I had a phased return after my first two big relapses and then just couldn't cope back at full time.

They should be accommodating so do see what adjustments they can make for you, if you haven't already. It could be changing hours, breaks, anything really.

fuzzpig · 20/02/2014 14:24

And yes the option to work at home (not possible in my line of work) would count as a reasonable adjustment too - a few people in my support group had this and even one day each week being able to work at home on a laptop still in their jammies really helped. :)

Cravey · 20/02/2014 14:40

Are you a doctor ? If not maybe shut your mouth and mind your own business. Do you have copies of her medical records ? If not then again maybe mind your own business. Just because you think there is nothing wrong with her it doesn't mean there isn't. I have no immune system so catch everything that is going. Every little thing. Thankfully I have supportive staff and family and friends. So they understand.

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