to think that people with asthma who smoke are selfish?

[quaginty]

People with bad asthma/copd/other lung conditions who cost NHS hundreds of pounds for treatment then fuck up the treatment by smoking.

Wonder why they feel shit then go have another fag at the hospital door then back up for more meds!

People with heart defects keep moving, people with limb problems keep walking... oh fgs judgeymcjudgey OP

Yabu. Addiction can be a nightmare. If it were that easy everyone would stop smoking tomorrow. Can see it must be really upsetting and frustrating for you though.

I'm going to go against the grain here. Maybe the OP doesn't feel that she can stop helping this woman's children, as just maybe she feels that the children need support and stability while their mother is in hospital and they're terrified that she's going to kill herself with her habits. The OP actually sounds to be a very kind and supportive person to the children. In those circs I'd be pretty frustrated with someone who kept smoking too. Addictions are nightmares, but that doesn't absolve addicts from the responsibility of making choices that have devastating impacts on those connected to them. And actually, when there's so little money in the NHS and there are postcode lotteries over life saving drugs, I think it is quite salutary to ask people to think about the financial impact their lifestyle choices have - and I say this as someone who is quite overweight, eats far too many crisps and never exercises.

I have sympathy with the OP. Years ago I worked from home and had a neighbour who thought this made me available for ad hoc childcare. I was trying gently to get the message through that I needed to work but she didn't see it.

Completely different situation however the day she knocked on the door mid asthma attack asking me to care for her toddler. That was an emergency I didn't hesitate, took the child in, played with her all afternoon and worried about my neighbour. Until the neighbour came back to collect her smoking a cigarette. I lost sympathy then.

I understand the point about addiction but surely if you have just had an attack in front of your neighbour who has then looked after your child all afternoon you could wait 2 minutest to go and collect your child before lighting up in front of the neighbour.

I am going to wait a few months and post a reverse AIBU.

"AIBU to feel pissed off at my nurse who told me I should try harder to stop smoking. I have just got out of ICU with my asthma and she was really rude. Smoking helps to calm me down and my dc have both been really worried recenly that am going to die so need something to help."

So you're this woman's nurse and you were rude to her? Did you tell her she was selfish? That's incredibly unprofessional if so, it's also unprofessional to talk about one of your patients on an internet forum.

I bet this poor woman already feels like shit. You won't have helped at all by being rude to her and telling her she should try harder to stop smoking. Did you point her to any sources of support at all? that would at least be something.

Smokers pay quite a lot in tax, and usually die young, so I think in terms of cost to the state it probably evens out.

I can see why the OP feels exasperated though. Sometimes people need to help themselves. Giving up an addiction can be very very hard but it's not impossible - people do it all the time.

A lot of disease today is caused by lifestyle choices and the nhs helps them too, type 2 diabetics, heart disease, hypertension.

Er no.

Yes there is a link with lifestyle and some of those, but it is not the only link.

If you are Asian you are more at risk of lung disease and type 2 diabetes, skin colour/perantage is not a life style choice.

Heart disease - well it depends on the type, some is congenital, some hereditary I think you actually mean coronary artery disease. Definitely lifestyle, the arteries of the US servicemen autopsied during the Vietnam war had the start of plaque build up, all those days of sitting around eating fries and doing no exercise obviously caused that.

There are also genetic factors, some people are more suseptable than others.

Hypertension - BP naturally rises with age, so yes anyone daring to live over 65 well just living is obviously a lifestyle choice.

Im asthmatic and I smoked for years. It was bloody stupid.
I was addicted.
I knew very well how much damage I was doing but when that craving hit, nothing else mattered.
I stopped and started again loads. I became what I called a social smoker. Then I decided to only smoke when I went to see my sis or mum but started to go there all the time so I could smoke!
its amazing what you'll do and what you'll say to youself to justify your fix.

eventually, 25 years after first fag, I quit and havent had one for a year.
people have mentioned being worse after stopping. I was. Asthma attacks, chest infections, constant cough.
its your lungs trying to clear out all the crap. They are prevented from doing much about it while you're laying down yet more layers of it.
was months before I stopped suffering more than when I was smoking.
no wonder so many people give up giving up!
having a fag stops the coughing. For a while.
everyone knows fags kill you.
everyone knows how awful they are.
but when you are an addict, that part of you that only cares about the next hit will whisper in your ear all the bloody time and its HARD.

I hate stinky smoke, but this is Darwin award stuff. Let natural selection do its job, as long as it is downwind of the rest of us.

help is there if people want it.

I think the case of which you speak of is one where the mum can be called selfish yes.

Helping out people who refuse to help themselves must be Tiring and relentless. Those poor children panicking their mum will die and the disruption to their lives as she's hospitalized again. Sounds awful and yes she should seek help so she can be there for her children.

I know of people who's kids are asthmatic yet they still smoke. Countless updates on face book about how ill their child was or how they were in hospital. That is selfishness and stupidity at its best.

But people will always sympathise. But as an ex smoker myself who manages to quit when I was pregnant I struggle to understand how the child isn't enough. I'm the least maternal person you will meet I'm rubbish with other people's babies and children. But it's still something so automatic to me, to have quit.

Each to their own I guess but that doesn't help them or their children and it's a shame some people don't try harder.

OP - if you had started a thread about the specific person you are clearly referring to, then I think the replies would probably have been in agreement. However, generalising about everyone based on your experience of one person who has obviously annoyed you is neither fair nor sensible.

I think you need to deal with your real issue op, this person who is putting in you. They may well be being very selfish and leaving you feeling like you can't say no while they do nothing tonhelp themself, but that is their issue and your issue with them. Otherwise generalisations can be made all around making almost everyone selfish.

My friends dmum who is addicted to food and my friends has to run around after her and help her all the time. Shes had a band fitted but that hasnt changed the underlying reason for her addiction so she still keeps eating more.

My cousin whose addicted to pot and coke qnd has.much help from the NHS but still goes back to.it because the reason for his addiction hasn't been dealt with.

My dsis friend who was told not to give up smoking when pregnant because she'd given up coke and x as soon as she found out. Her hv told her it was very unwise.

My friends dad has emphasimia, he continues to.smoke. He's depressed and stressed and it stops him having a breakdown.

Yes, we all got very frustrated when (except for last one) they went back to their addictions, but theres always a reason for it. You need to stop ranting in general and look specifically to your friend qnd decide if they are being selfish, why they are, what you can do to stop yourself being put upon and how you go about it.

My friend made her.mum pay for a dog walker. Her.mum is addicted but expecting her daughter to drive 20 miles there and back twice a day to walk her dog was unfair and very selfish that her mum tried to guilt her. My friend put her foot down, either mum paid for a walker or the dog was rehomed where it could get plenty of walks.

I'm thinking that someone who is surrounded by people whining at them might not be so highly motivated to extend their life. Maybe they see the OP coming and light up two at once.

As for the concern for the NHS the OP should bear in mind that people who die young save all those years of NHS treatment and then the whole of their government pension, cost of care home and so on.

People with asthma still have to pay for prescriptions, so the NHS are not losing out.

Stop being so judgey. YABU.

Another smoking thread

Asthma is an allergic reaction caused mainly by dust mites. Fags may contain a lot of noxious substances but I don't recall dust mites being among them.

No dust mites can be a trigger alongside other things including tobacco smoke!!
Ecxercise
Cold air
Chest infections
Animal fur.

If only dust mites were the only/main trigger for asthma, would make life for DS so much easier!

And actually, when there's so little money in the NHS and there are postcode lotteries over life saving drugs, I think it is quite salutary to ask people to think about the financial impact their lifestyle choices have - and I say this as someone who is quite overweight, eats far too many crisps and never exercises.

Ok so if someone asked you to think about the financial impact your lifestyle choices have on the NHS, you'd lose weight and start exercising immediately?

Why don't you do it without being asked, if that's the way you feel?

I know sirzy

I think red must be my mother in law who thinks smoking around kids is harmless

YABVU.

I probably should, worra. I accept that. And if I were in a life-threatening situation and my children were terrified of losing me, I would. No question.

Excellent post Adeleh

My mother was a very heavy smoker. She always had a smokers cough and became asthmatic a few years before she died. She eventually died from emphysema after countless emergency hospital admissions during the last few years of her life.
As a child of a smoker I understand exactly what it must be like for those children.

I would like to know if there is scientific evidence that shows how smoking helps with asthma.

Nicotine is actually a bronchial dilator, amongst many other things. So counter intuitively, it does help ease asthma in the immediate moment. Obviously not a long term solution Ahem.