Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To expect a playdate to mean playing not staring at a screen

175 replies

PhoebeMcPeePee · 19/02/2014 19:19

My DC were at friends for tea today for a total of 3 hours & bar a short break for tea spent the entire time playing on a DS/iPad/laptop or watching TV
AIBU to think if you invite a child over to play there should be at least some (if not all in the case of youngest age 4) actually playing . Both now completely wired & grumpy not to mention annoyed at me because I won't let them watch some tv as agreed earlier in the day. Would it be really rude to ask a parent not to allow screen time when I drop off?

OP posts:

KingR0llo · 19/02/2014 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 19/02/2014 20:25

sixlive

I cant stand console games and we do not have them here, I find them mind crashingly dull and cant bear to be in a room with people playing them, but I really wouldnt care if dd went to play date and thats what she did ....

malloo · 19/02/2014 20:26

YANBU, I would not be impressed, especially for younger ones. Whole point of play dates is to play with other kids, if just going to watch tv etc could do that on their own. Not saying it's not good to do that too but 3 hrs, no way!! Also, the mum was not looking after the kids for you, the tv/ computer was, v easy for her! I know this because I use it when I need a break ! And, why does it matter that its winter, can't kids do anything else in the house apart from look at a screen?

mercibucket · 19/02/2014 20:27

double arf to the stealth boast posts

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 19/02/2014 20:28

Its very precious behaviour.

People notice it, don't trip yourself up in future!

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 19/02/2014 20:29

I know this because I use it when I need a break ! And, why does it matter that its winter, can't kids do anything else in the house apart from look at a screen?

Maybe ops child/ren are nightmares and this was how the parent coped...praying they would be glued to a screen.

mercibucket · 19/02/2014 20:30

were greggs sausage rolls and fruit shoots handed out as snacks too?

Ifcatshadthumbs · 19/02/2014 20:31

I was thinking maybe they were all being such a bunch of sods the mum put the TV on told them to shut up!

ProfessorSkullyMental · 19/02/2014 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

PhoebeMcPeePee · 19/02/2014 20:31

No they don't do loads of play dates but maybe one or 2 a month, once or twice in half term (less when it's nice out as we usually meet friends in parks, woods etc) but yes being glued to a screen of some type does now seem to be the standard entertainment wherever they go so not exclusive to today's invite. I'm not concerned that 1 or 2 afternoons a month is going to cause irreparable harm or affect their ability to socialise in later life but it pisses me off that parents don't insist kids actually try & play with their friends on the odd day they're visiting.

OP posts:

KingR0llo · 19/02/2014 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldenbear · 19/02/2014 20:32

YANBU I don't think particularly with the 4 year

dietcokeandwine · 19/02/2014 20:32

It would be really really rude to ask a hosting parent to ban screen time, yes. About as rude as stipulating what food should be served (unless of course there are major allergy issues to consider).

I agree with the poster above who pointed out that toddlers watching telly is a very different issue to upper-end-primary children playing computer games. I too have a 9yo Minecraft fan and his game of choice with his mates on a play date would be Minecraft or Pixelmon. If you actually listen to kids that age playing these type of games you'll see that they are playing, and interacting, just as exuberantly as the three year olds playing shop.

I too am kind of baffled as to why games consoles etc are just so fascinating - I don't 'do' computer games myself in any way shape or form - but I appreciate that for many kids they are a source of endless pleasure. Of course screen time should be limited and controlled to an appropriate extent in your own home, during the course of a normal school week. But on a play date I think anything goes. As long as they've had fun.

Aelfrith · 19/02/2014 20:34

YY arf at the stealth boasting merci

My children are busy too, doing improving activities (albeit not at a regional level), still manage to find time to spend hours doing bloody Minecraft!

Aelfrith · 19/02/2014 20:35

Goldenbear · 19/02/2014 20:41

Sorry, posted too soon.... I had a similar experience with my nearly 7 year old. He went to play after school at a friend's house and when I picked him up the Dad asked me in and they were watching TV. However, my son looked pretty bored and was half playing with a toy. He told me afterwards that it was a bit boring because L wanted to just watch tv. There isn't really any social interaction they were just staring at a screen. A computer game may have been slightly better as it is more interactive.

A little tv may have been ok but I'm not convinced of the 'fun' aspect of just watching tv as opposed to playing. Then again my experience is only yr 2 children.

FloppyPoppyCocky · 19/02/2014 20:44

Why in the name of all that is holy does a child have to be a wholesome and fulfilled puddle jumper OR a mind rotting screen watcher. People on here don't seem to understand that children can do both. There are a lot of hours in a day you know.

KingR0llo · 19/02/2014 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hazeyjane · 19/02/2014 20:47

This reminds me of going to a friends house so our dcs could play, they were about 3, another mum there made her dd sit behind the sofa and do puzzles because the friend we were visiting had put a disney film on. It was most bizarre!

I would be incredibly insulted if you said something about limiting screen time during a play date. When the dd's have friends over, they usually have away, watch some TV or go on the iPad, eat and maybe go in the garden. But if it is raining, and my youngest ds is being very difficult, then I will stick a film on to keep everyone happy.

nova1111 · 19/02/2014 20:49

And a few hours of something different won't ruin them for life.

mamaduckbone · 19/02/2014 20:50

I agree that console games are very different from TV. My ds, 8, is allowed far more screen time when friends are round than when it's just him, because they do collaborate, problem solve and interact and it's the only chance he gets to play with others, as ds2 is only 4 and doesn't get it yet (although he's a demon at Wii sport bowling). I wouldn't be delighted at either of them watching TV constantly at someone's house, but it's hardly the end of the world.

JCDenton · 19/02/2014 20:53

[Grin] Aelfrith

I certainly wouldn't be caught doing pointless things like posting on an internet forum. Good thing MN doesn't do post counts.

Stinklebell · 19/02/2014 20:56

Well, exactly!

These things aren't mutually exclusive - well, jumping in a puddle while holding an iPad is probably not a good idea but you know what I mean

mumminio · 19/02/2014 20:58

Host the next playdate if you don't like what they're doing.

3 hours seems to me like a really long time for a playdate. What were you expecting them to do?

IdRatherPlayHereWithAllTheMadM · 19/02/2014 21:10

Maybe three hours seemed like a long time to them because they dont get to watch any. maybe it was actually only 3 mins...

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7