To expect a playdate to mean playing not staring at a screen

[PhoebeMcPeePee]

My DC were at friends for tea today for a total of 3 hours & bar a short break for tea spent the entire time playing on a DS/iPad/laptop or watching TV
AIBU to think if you invite a child over to play there should be at least some (if not all in the case of youngest age 4) actually playing . Both now completely wired & grumpy not to mention annoyed at me because I won't let them watch some tv as agreed earlier in the day. Would it be really rude to ask a parent not to allow screen time when I drop off?

Huge difference between passively watching TV/Youtube on your own at home (or even playing computer games on your own) and playing socially with friends. Surely you can see the difference?

Yes it would be very very rude.
I had this, I had TV on, at xmas supposed to be background when friend came over, she made a huge hullabaloo about my TV being on.

She actually asked me to turn it off. I really resented the woman for it. I had santa claus the movie on I just thought it would be nice background. I did not think two 4 half year olds would sit down and watch it. they didnt.

Cue a few years later my DD goes to her house and guess what....." You dont mind if we have the tv on for a bit do you, darling Livvy LOVES this program" half an hour later, its turned off.

My DC would never want to sit in front of tv all day. Maybe yours do because you restrict it so much and have turned it into this amazing thing they cant get?

Children rarely get to play screen games with their peers...it tends to be solitary. Then they all talk about it at school, update each other on what they've done etc.

To actually play the game together is hugely exciting, be it Minecraft, Wii, Playstation etc.

Agree with WhoWas....and yes very rude to mention it to other parent who has kindly entertained your child for the afternoon.

I'm quite old fashioned in my thinking but all this judgey pants stuff just because kids are on the computer and not playing games or doing something 'worthwhile'. Electronic devices are here to stay and no point in being in denial. If you don't approve then don't send them there again. If somebody complained to me because I had entertained their DC's in a manner in which they approved of I'd be beyond furious.

Had this yesterday at a friends, 4 2/3 year olds. Kids staring blankly at a tv eating rubbish and then iPad brought out too. Occasionally bickering over toys.
Huge telly on wall of playroom. The parents actually think it allows their kids to concentrate better!
Must really decline invites there again. Wore my dd out on the way home jumping in puddles.

Didn't approve of I think I meant.

I hate it play dates are for playing. We went round for playdate today and their DC were watching tv and didn't turn it off all the time we were there. My DS kept saying the TV is on as we switch it off when play dates come. My DC play with iPads and watch TV but If there are other kids around they should play with them. You just don't invite them back or go to theirs simple to avoid.

I wouldn't dream of commenting after the event when someone has looked after them for the afternoon but it does makes me question how often I want my DC going out for tea when all they do it play with electronic devices which are allowed occasionally at home rather than the default choice of entertainment.

I don't believe in play dates. Too much fun. Your children should all be reading an improving book.

YABVU and could well be a parent of a child ive had over recently, my dcs spent the entire time playing minecraft with said friend!

Its February not the middle of summer!

Their house their rules, definitely. Personally I ration screen time (if any) on playdates and brook no argument from visiting dc.

But your DC are tiny, toddle. I agree that non-stop telly for pre-schoolers is not my idea of a play date. But for children a bit older than that playing console games together can be genuine co-operative play, every bit as social as dollies' tea parties.

Jumping in fucking puddles again?

again being the operative word, for the past three.four months even the most addicted puddle jumper gets bored.

We always have some screen time in a playdate with my eldest (year 3), but also some outside time and some play time too - usually on the football table.
With DS2, in year 1, I would always ask parents before we put the computer on, as DS1 didn't have a computer at that age.
It is a two way process, you can always mention that you don't let your child have too much computer/TV as they get over simulated/excited. I've had to do that with friend of DD who is not even three, who I think is too young to have any computer access at all.

Maybe I have missed something here, has this happened lots to you op?

What if the mother doesn't normally have the tv or whatever on, but was having a bad day, didn't want to cancel the play date and just thought....OK I will just stick the telly on?

Does your child to have or go on many play dates? Is there no variety?

Is jumping in puddles supposed to be the pinnacle of fun, cool parenting or something?

My kids have done nothing but jump in bloody puddles lately

What about climbing trees? That usually gets trotted out at some point too.

Oops, sorry, crossed loads of posts. I answered the phone and took ages to hit post

arf to fucking puddle jumping

minecraft is the same as lego but on a screen. dont see the big deal myself

do all the 'playdates' at yours in future

I am on the fence. Sometimes devices is exactly what they like and play on consoles can be highly social and strategic. My kids don't do many playdates so it doesn't seem like much to allow them an extra privilege.

Some of us hate console games, pointless waste of time and I can see no upside but then both my DC do sport at regional level so are busy. Board games are different IMO. Stick to your consoles but just don't ask my DC round.