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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why anyone with young children would have a dog as a pet or on their home?

294 replies

needtobediscreet · 18/02/2014 14:24

In light of the many incidents of death and injury caused to young children by dogs, even those not previously considered a danger, I can't help but wonder WHY anyone would. The latest seems to involve a six day old baby in west Wales.

Don't get me wrong, I love animals. I grew up with cats and had a pet dog myself when I was in secondary school. But the nicest of dogs can 'turn' it seems and the results are a lot worse than when a cat gets a bit upset.

Clearly in the majority of cases the affected families weren't deliberately neglectful but why take the risk?

I'm prepared for lots of responses from dog owners....!!!

OP posts:
Faverolles · 19/02/2014 08:03

MN is full of responsible dog owners who never leave their child and dog unattended.
However, in real life, the majority of dog owners I know wouldn't think twice about leaving a toddler with the family dog, allow the child to climb into the dog's bed, some with big dogs let their child ride on the dog Hmm
Irresponsible dog owners are all around, but most of them are lucky, with tolerant dogs who are put into bad situations. If the dog bit after months go being pulled around, having its personal space invaded etc, the dog would be blamed and pts.
Some popular dog training methods can leave the most reliable breeds of dog nervous, and potentially dangerous, but well meaning owners don't know this.
As long as dog owners allow their dogs to be treated badly, no matter how well meaning they are, and how loved the dog is, there will be accidents, some of them tragic.
Occasionally, there will be an unprovoked attack, but there may be a problem with the dog, an illness, or the dog is in pain, so it is always necessary to supervise children with every dog all the time.

nennypops · 19/02/2014 08:04

According to the expert on the radio, the problem is that the cry of a young baby is very like that of an injured animal, and dogs will instinctively go for an injured animal.

VivaLeBeaver · 19/02/2014 08:10

JulietBravo is so right about being dammed if you do and dammed if you don't with dogs.

Last year I had 300 odd posts telling me I must have my dog pts, rehomed after it bit people on more than one occasion. I reluctantly agreed and then had lots of other posts and PMs telling me what an awful owner I was. This was after I'd spent a fortune on the best behaviourist in the country at £160 per session......so not like I was giving up easily.

I'm too scared to tell most of MN I bottled the appt and the dog is still here Thankfully he does seem a lot better these days. He's only nipped dh once in the last six months and that was after dh ignored a massive warning from the dog.

Thankfully he's a small dog, smaller than a jack Russell. When I first got him I was scared of him and if he'd been bigger he'd have gone.

VivaLeBeaver · 19/02/2014 08:13

Oh and I don't have a young child either, just a teen. If I'd had a young child then things may have worked out differently. As it is the dogs muzzled if my nephew comes over. One of dd's friends won't set foot in the house because of the dog.

Oneglassandpuzzled · 19/02/2014 08:29

The site below has very interesting information on the circumstances in which children and adults have been seriously bitten in the UK over the last years. Very few seem to be dogs bought as puppies from respectable breeders, of a non-aggressive breed. Quite a few are Staffis, Achitas, rottweilers, etc. Quite a number were dogs that had nothing to do with the child's family.
www.ukandspain.com/dangerous-dogs/

Marnieshere · 19/02/2014 08:54

I had my dog (German spitz) for 6 yrs before my baby came along. It was my baby, totally calm, barked when the door knocked but that's it. Never shown any aggression to anything.

Would I leave my 'real' baby alone in a room with him? No, because its a dog and i would never trust any dog 100% anything can make them switch!

(And I can honestly say I've never left them alone together. If I leave the room one of them comes with me)

GimmeDaBoobehz · 19/02/2014 10:09

That's why I don't leave them alone Mothra I think that's adequately protecting my child. When she's older if she starts to agitate him they will be parted and she wont stroke/pet him again until she can do so appropriately.

It's upsetting as it's very graphic. It conjures up images. Of course people are worried but then what you have to do is make precautions.

Lab's head could nearly swallow me up and could probably do a good deal of damage on me too but I know that we have safety precautions for if something turned nasty. Besides, he's a guide dog so it's not like we just irresponsibly bought a dog whilst she was a small baby - he has a specific purpose. Not that we don't still take precautions because we do as dogs like all animals have instincts.

Sunflower49 · 19/02/2014 10:18

I'm in the 'no bad dogs, just bad owners' brigade.

A dog that is properly looked after, taken care of, loved and trained properly, is very unlikely to do anybody any damage-It's very rare you get a dog that's naturally vicious or bad natured.

Dogs will do anything to please their owners if they're trained and looked after properly.

Dog licenses should be essential. Dog owners should be vetted, people who breed dogs, and those who illegally breed or train them to fight should be sanctioned more strongly.
Will this ever be the case?Probably not I imagine.

It's quite difficult to be a good dog owner and far too many people take it far too lightly.

I'm very careful with my dog when around children, even though I really don't think she'd ever hurt anyone, I'd never leave her unattended with a child. I'd be less worried about an unprovoked attack, more so because I've seen kids kicking and pulling at dogs ears, my friend's child once chased another friend's dog around with her toy pram scaring the hell out of it, a dog that gets pissed off is more likely to snap. I don't think my dog would but it isn't a risk I'd ever take when it isn't necessary.

TheScience · 19/02/2014 20:37

There are no bad dogs, or good dogs really, they are just animals and will behave as such.

Unfortunately, crap owners do seem to be attracted to particularly big, powerful dogs that need a lot of exercise and training, which of course they don't get. You can argue that the breed doesn't matter, but some breeds are more dangerous than others due to their physicality. A bored, frustrated, ill-disciplined mastiff or husky is more dangerous than a spoilt, yappy, ill-disciplined yorkie.

getdownshep · 19/02/2014 21:26

We got two Westie pups when I was pregnant, dd is 25 now.
When I look back it was a stupid thing to do but my dds grew up with them and we were careful, the dogs were used to children and luckily everything was fine.
Now I have a Yorkie cross and a mini pinscher, they are not used to children,they are not aggressive just nervous.
I don't allow any children to stroke them, I even cross the road if I see small children walking towards me as I won't take any chances.
If we have gc in the future the dogs will be put in another room as its not a risk I would take.
But both my dogs are small, I can pick them up, the worse that would happen would be a small nip which would be bad enough.

LaGuardia · 19/02/2014 21:39

Dogs are killers. The bigger the dog, the bigger the risk. Why would you risk your child with one of them. Dogs are my pet hate. They should be banned. They shit all over pavements and parks, and they kill people. What is to love about them? unless you are a vet, of course

lougle · 19/02/2014 21:48

"Dogs are killers."

Number of dog attacks resulting in death since 2005: 17
Number of murders in the same period: 5909 Source

Number of dogs in the UK: 8-10 million
Number of people in the UK: 56.1 million

Ratio dogs to people: 1:6.5
Ratio dog deaths to murders: 1:347.6

I rest my case.

NCISaddict · 19/02/2014 21:49

Dogs are a darn sight safer than people!

Ilovexmastime · 19/02/2014 21:51

I have a dog and two small (ish) children in my house. You ask why OP. It's because I love dogs and always have done. I haven't really analysed why I love them so much but I suspect it's something to do with the uncoditional love they give.
Anyway, I had my gorgeous, big hearted dog first, then I met DH and then I had kids. There was no way I would have got rid of my dog just because I'd had a baby. Likethe saying goes... a dog isn't just for Christmas.
Myself and DH spent time and effort ensuring that the dog and the baby could live together safely, because although we obviously love our child more than a dog, that dog loves us more than anything in the world and we love him too and we are committed to looking after him for the rest of his life.

maddy68 · 19/02/2014 22:48

The majority of dogs are totally life enhancing. The sane as people. The odd person is a murderer totally the exception. To the rule. The same as dogs

NoLikeyNoLighty · 19/02/2014 23:28

OP, you are soooo NBU. Can never understand why the need to have great big dogs when you have children.
Yes, SOME dogs are lovely. Some aren't and can just 'turn' though.Why would any responsible parent risk that round their newborn?!

TamerB · 20/02/2014 07:06

I think that people ignore the fact that many babies and children are still alive because the family dog saved them from danger!

TamerB · 20/02/2014 07:09

Baby saved from crawling into sea

TamerB · 20/02/2014 07:11

Dog saves abandoned baby in park

TamerB · 20/02/2014 07:15

Dog saves baby from speeding car
I haven't got time to link to more- there are many.
I can't see why all dogs get vilified for a few and are the enemy when growing up with dogs can be hugely beneficial. Dogs have to be properly brought up and they should never be left alone with babies and toddlers- whatever their temperament.

TamerB · 20/02/2014 07:16

And adults need to teach children how to approach dogs.

Minifingers · 20/02/2014 07:27

Thanks for those links Tamer. The Labrador in the last link has the best face ever!

TamerB · 20/02/2014 07:43

I don't actually have a dog but I can't stand the way that some are badly treated and/or have irresponsible owners and suddenly all dogs should be banned from any connection with children! You get children terrified of dogs because they never have contact and have never been taught that you can never go straight up to a dog and treat like a teddy bear.
My SIL has a lovely dog but it was a rescue one with a very cruel early start to life,she is still terrified of men. She is fine with children, under supervision - you would never leave them alone with her.
Dogs and children need to be supervised.

mycatoscar · 20/02/2014 08:01

We waited until dd was 8 to get our dog. She is old enough to be taught to act/not act around dogs and we've watched lots if videos and read books about dog body language. She also comes to training classes with us.

Dog (collie cross lab) adores dd and acts completely differently around her compared to me and dh. But dd is never left with dog where I can't see or clearly hear what is going on.

You can never completely trust a dog.

intheround · 20/02/2014 08:05

You have to look at the backstory of this before judging. The partner bought the 6 year old Malamute from a bloke in pub who was getting rid of it. That should set massive alarm bells ringing for a start.
It was a working breed who went to live in a small terraced house. Second red flag.
The dog appears to have had unsupervised access to a baby. Also a major issue.
We waited til the children were 3 and 5 before getting a puppy. We deliberately chose one of the more submissive ones in the litter. The children were in charge of feeling her and she was taught not to eat her food until given the sayso from them. She responds to their commands as well as mine. They adore her.