To expect DH to put DC to bed?

[cheerfultrail]

I sometimes (rarely) work late. I mostly start the process of putting DD to bed - I suggest it; DH does her bath; I read the story. Usually at about 7.15-7.30.

DD has recently been ill (bad cold and temperature) but had been to nursery in the day. Therefore she was very tired and crotchety.

I got home at 7.30pm, fully expecting a bathed and pyjama-clad child.

No, DH was sitting on the sofa, unable to face the tantrum of telling DD to leave the ipad alone (I never let her on the ipad unless it is a special treat; on a long journey etc) and certainly not having done her bath etc.

Am I being unreasonable to expect him to do this? He does work hard and is normally knackered at the end of a working day, but even so ...!

I work pt
DH works full time

whoever is at home at bath time baths the children.
If DH is on a day off do you really think it's my job to put the children to bed after I've done a twelve hour shift? I must be better at it, because I have ovaries

Perhaps I should be grateful that he looks after his own children while I selfishly go to work too, eh.

FFS.

Who wants equality? I think family values were better when men were men and women were women. I like old school gentlemen and ladies and their roles in society. Women want everything to be equal....until their car breaks down or they need something!

What generation are you talking about?

My Dsis is 42 and our dad did bath time as he wouldn't have seen her in the day if he didn't, and our mom was a SAHM - some dads like their children and want to see them... SHOCK!

babydubs

If your mum was a SAHM then why didn't she bath your sister before your dad got home? Apparently whoever is at home should do it

blah- 'And most men of my parents generation have never bathed their kids, changed a nappy or been hands on...'

Why on earth do you say this like it's a good thing? Even my grandmother in her 80s says how wonderful it is to see my dh and bil being so hands on with their babies!

blah Are you Richard Littlejohn?

I hadn't told DH I expected a bathed and pyjama-clad child because I had hoped it was implicit. Maybe I need to communicate my expectations more - that's usually at the bottom of my "unreasonable" expectations!

Anyway - thanks for the support all. As I say DH is actually a very good dad - I was just tired last night and had hoped for a little more (which he does usually provide).

Accused fathers of? Haven't accused them of anything, where have i? Please elaborate? I don't think it's a dads job to bath littleones when they are working and mums are not(or doing a few hours pin money) mum's should do the bathing as i feel tradition value households are just fine the way things were

Because my dad liked to do it - it was their time together - the bedtime routine, bath story and bed. He didn't get to do much else in the week due to working like a bastard and wanted secure time with his child - bedtime was his time!

Hes 65 so hardly a new generation man!

Who wants equality? One of the worst thing I've ever seen on MN you are heinous in your betrayal of women, vulnerable groups, minority groups etc.

You need one hell of a huge fucking grip on reality.

Your words disgust me.

Even my grandmother in her 80s says how wonderful it is to see my dh and bil being so hands on with their babies!

meaning that their generation wasn't like this, right? The era when people had morals, lasting marriages and family values....

OP works three days a week.

On the two days a week when she is at home alone with her child, the childcare is her sole responsibility. When her husband gets home it should be shared; he is also a parent.

On the other three days, when both parents are working, childcare while they are working is outsourced and outside of work hours should be shared depending on who is best placed to do it (who's working late, etc).

OP, your DH dropped the ball both in setting your daughter up for a tantrum, and then in not being willing to deal with the consequences.

Ooh pin money - you have excelled yourself

And blah, I know plenty of blokes in their 60s and 70s who bathed their children, did bedtimes, changed nappies. My late grandfather (who would be in his late 90s if still alive) certainly did bathtime for his children, including my mother. So yes, you are to a certain extent talking bollocks I'm afraid.

My DH would be horrified if it were suggested he should not give his child a bath.

For the record, I'm shit hot at mending the car when it has issues. I am also go-to for plumbing. DH is in charge of the drill and the hammer; the power sander is all mine.

Oh and that rape in marriage was taboo and not illegal.

And that it was accepted to be at your wife

And that women were sold to there new family in the form of dowery

Oh that you couldn't get rent or mortgages in a women's name

And you left work to have a baby

Ffs get a time machine then. I suppose you are for the traditional forced marriages abroad of youn girls to much older men whose bodies are damaged through multiple mc's

So yes fuck off

pin money
Only man pounds pay the gas bill, of course. My wages are for lipstick and glossy magazines.

blah, have you considered stand-up comedy as a career path?

beat

"plus dads really shouldn't be bathing little girls. it's a mum's job"
I think blah, that you need to elaborate.

I think it's a mum's role to bath her kids whilst the dads are at work, do i need to repeat this again?

blah you are the old man from the Werthers Originals ad, and I claim my £5.

Girly pounds, obviously.