To be really worried there's something more sinister to this? Feel like I've failed DD

[karenaanna]

This could be long, sorry. Have NCed. Not sure this is the right place to post but more traffic and want to know if I'm worrying over nothing.

A bit of background- DD is almost 18 and is yet to start her period. I took her to the GP when she was 14 as I was concerned she wasn't showing any real signs of starting to hit puberty and they put it down to she being small for her age combined with the amount of intense exercise she does- at the time she was doing 20ish hours of semi-professional dance school a week and was planning on a dance career, she's now doing 18 hours but no longer wants to dance professionally, although she's still dancing at the same intensity. To this day she's never really had typical teenage mood swings.

Over the last few weeks, since the new year maybe she's put on a lot of weight, she's always been tiny, very ballerina esque and it's almost like she's suddenly gone into the pre puberty baby fat stage but at 17. Her level of physical activity and diet haven't changed. She hasn't said anything but is clearly aware. She's meant to be at a half term dance intensive this week starting today but came and woke me up in the middle of the night- which she hasn't done since she was about 6- in tears with what she described as stomach ache 'down there' (potential sign period is about to start?) and begged me not to make her go today. I sent her back to bed with neurofen and a hot water bottle and told her she'd probably feel better in the morning, but I'm getting an overwhelming vibe from her she doesn't want to go.

She hasn't been herself for the last few weeks, she's last year of Sixth form, so applications for further education. She's had offers from all of her chosen universities back but was inconsolable last week as she's also been rejected from all of the specialist drama schools she applied for- the Ucas application was for another subject and intended as a back up as the specialist drama schools are so competitive. When she sent off the applications she was intending to take up the university place if she didn't get a drama school place, but now it's actually happened she's decided she doesn't want to go to university and wants to reapply for drama school next year. She's at an academic school and so not getting any offers for a chosen course is very unusual, I don't think it's been easy for her seeing all her friends getting excited about university and place offers knowing she's going to be reapplying next year. She's been really low and unhappy since then, again she hasn't said as much, but she clearly hasn't been happy.

Since January she's had fainting episodes/dizzy/temporary lost vision spells, and episodes of what DD describes as severe pins and needles, she's had it a few times in dance classes and had to sit out because she can't physically put weight on her leg. Her dance teacher put it down to stress, I'm starting to wonder if it's all somehow connected and I should have pushed harder for a proper examination before. Do I take her to the walk in centre or is that overreacting?

i agree that is extreme weight gain.

i would maybe pushfor some blood tests to rule out any hormonal or thyroid issues that can cause weight gain?

I agree with what others are saying about the weight gain. It does seem very sudden. I hope you get some answers soon. I'm sure it's very worrying for both of you.

Well I haven't managed to persuade her to eat anything so that's the dance tomorrow problem solved.

Thanks layl77, that's reassuring. I was planning on pushing for blood tests today but I chickened out, I'll be firmer next time.

My main concern is that she's so withdrawn. Puberty is crap enough normally, let alone when all your friends have got the awkward bit out the way and you're only just starting.

OP, your daughter needs a doctor.
How do you think a bunch of strangers on the internet are going to help you.

Go to the doctor. If the doctor won't listen, go to another doctor or a walk in clinic or family planning. I would be extremely worried that she has some kind of vaginal obstruction tbh, given fainting episode as well as pain and sudden weight gain, and lack of menstruation (surely lack of menstruation alone is cause for referral in 18yo?! Your doctor sounds really crap!)

Hope GP appt goes well, take a urine sample as they will definitely want to do a pregnancy test.

Damnbamboo rtft. The op has been to a doctor and is going to go back!

Damn have you read the thread? OP has been told by doctors not to worry so she is seeking further advice.

damnbamoo I have, and I'm taking her back as I'm not happy with the verdict. In the meantime I have an extremely withdrawn teenager and I'm trying to work out how to help her because the GP most certainly didn't.

fudge that's what I would have thought, it would be if it wasn't for all the dancing she does apparently

this sounds awful, my heart breaks for her because she sounds like she's been so dedicated and hasn't been rewarded. The symptoms sound terrible too, I would definitely try getting her back in front of a doctor if at all possible.

I'm starting to think she's much more uncomfortable than she's letting on :( I will be booking the first doctors appointment I can, I can't put her through much more of this. Still no sign of period.

I am getting a bit of a bad feeling about this, OP

If she worsens in the night, please take her straight to A+E

OP sorry you and dd are having such a horrible time. I would be back at gp in the morning demanding further invedtigation. This really needs checking .

OP sometimes I've found an effective tactic when going to see a GP in a situation like this is to say that you can see that the symptoms fit xx, yy and zz conditions (so insert the main ones that have been suggested on here and that you are personally worried about) and to get them to say why they are not those conditions.

I can see why the doctor might have thought it was a good idea to see if it was your dd's first period to rule that out before doing anything else.

BUT - say she had already started her period and it was a non-issue, and your dd had gone to the doctor saying she had had not one but several fainting spells, dizziness, temporary loss of vision, pins and needles - would the GP really have sent her away to see if her time of the month made any difference to those symptoms? I'm guessing not.

And whilst the two may be related, they might not. Puberty at 18, although later than most, is at least a normal thing for a girl to go through. But fainting, dizziness, loss of vision, pins and needles - are not normal at any age and would really worry me (as a mum - I'm not a doctor).

I used to be really skinny and suddenly put on a lot of weight - over a stone in a month, and then more but not quite as rapidly. Although I was a bit older than your dd so puberty wasn't an issue, when I went to the doctor initially I got fobbed off and told I was wasting their time because I was so skinny beforehand that I was now a healthy weight and therefore I should just be grateful and stop complaining. They didn't get that it wasn't the weight I was that bothered me, it was the sudden rapid weight gain when nothing else had changed that worried me (particularly as my mum has thyroid issues so I'd always been told to be on the look out for these sort of symptoms). It took me 7 years (plus a switched on osteopath and a locum doctor) to get the diagnosis; chances are if I had known what to ask for the first (or second, third, etc) time I went, the GP might have at least stopped to consider it as an option rather than seeing somebody they thought wanted a quick way to lose weight (which wasn't what I wanted at all). In a more extreme example, the local hospital here was recently in the news because a teenager with cystic fibrosis died in a&e from meningitis - she had been to the GP, who had diagnosed meningitis, sent her as an emergency case to the hospital, but because she went there quite a bit due to her CF symptoms (and she wasn't having any obvious CF symptoms), they looked at her chart, saw CF, said she didn't seem to be having any problems and turned her into a low priority CF case rather than an urgent meningitis case. She kept asking them for help, trying to show them the rash but they kept saying they were busy and she would be fine to wait. Horrendous - and all because they saw what they expected to see and didn't bother to look beyond at the other info they would have done if it was any other person presenting with those symptoms.

I'm not saying this as I think that your dd has PCOS (although as others have said it is something that is worth getting crossed off the list) - but I would definitely be going back to the gp and getting them to look at the other symptoms she has as a matter of urgency as they would do if she hadn't gone in with the potential first period to cloud the issue.

19lbs is a lot of weight in such a short space of time, I doubt it would be puppy fat. To be hobest I wouldn't be that bothered about bringing it up in front of her to any dr. They need to know everything, and this is a sympton.
I hope you get some answers soon.

If she fainted and complained about pains again I would take her to A&E.

I am sensing ectopic pregnancy

I believe the pg test can be negative in some cases

My (tiny) mother had what must have been imperforate hymen (she called it something else!) until the age of about 15 or 16. Very simply treated, I believe, even back then, but she apparently swelled like a balloon before they worked out what it was.

I was thinking that AF, but I think blood pressure, temp etc would also be indicators (which gp probably checked today) and I'm sure it's common enough for the gp to be looking out for.

Op, you sound like a lovely mum and I hope you get to the bottom of it soon. Like others have said, don't be scared to kick up a fuss if you feel you're not being listened to. I suffered with endo for years without a diagnosis and I wish I'd taken my mum to a few appointments so that someone could kick ass on my behalf!

Dont make her dance if shes feeling this shitty.
The last thing she needs at the minute is mirrors and lycra and other tiny women.

Its a big year, she may well need some proper down time and sleep, especially since shes been fainting, whether thats due to anxiety or starvation or a physical illness, something is wrong.

My first thought was pcos or that hymen thing (didn't know what it was called though i knew what it did though).

Also possibly pelvis inflammatory disease? I know that's often connected to STDs (so i was told) but ive never had an STD and i had it, it was horrible and the pain was like labour contractions at its worst point. My periods had stopped but i was irregular anyway sso that didn't raise alarmbells initially, until they gave me antibiotics (iv) then i came on within 24 hours and my stomach was swollen badly like i was in the early stages of getting a pregnancy bump.

I fainted too but not sure if that was just because of the sheer pain.

Hope you get some answers, if she faints again go to a&e

DD assures me she hasn't had sex, I believe her. Oh a massive fuss is going to be kicked up at the next doctor's appointment I can get, trust me!

I don't know whether to go and check up on her or leave her be.

I think you should check on her if you're at all anxious. It does sound like she's in a bit of a state. What makes you think she's in more pain than she is telling you?

would you gain 19 pounds from an ectopic pregnancy though? You'd have to be pretty far along in a pregnancy to get to 19 pounds and din't think ectopics could work that way? I might be talking bullshit though

Check on her. She probably doesn't need it, but it sounds like you do. Take it easy on yourself.