To be really worried there's something more sinister to this? Feel like I've failed DD

[karenaanna]

This could be long, sorry. Have NCed. Not sure this is the right place to post but more traffic and want to know if I'm worrying over nothing.

A bit of background- DD is almost 18 and is yet to start her period. I took her to the GP when she was 14 as I was concerned she wasn't showing any real signs of starting to hit puberty and they put it down to she being small for her age combined with the amount of intense exercise she does- at the time she was doing 20ish hours of semi-professional dance school a week and was planning on a dance career, she's now doing 18 hours but no longer wants to dance professionally, although she's still dancing at the same intensity. To this day she's never really had typical teenage mood swings.

Over the last few weeks, since the new year maybe she's put on a lot of weight, she's always been tiny, very ballerina esque and it's almost like she's suddenly gone into the pre puberty baby fat stage but at 17. Her level of physical activity and diet haven't changed. She hasn't said anything but is clearly aware. She's meant to be at a half term dance intensive this week starting today but came and woke me up in the middle of the night- which she hasn't done since she was about 6- in tears with what she described as stomach ache 'down there' (potential sign period is about to start?) and begged me not to make her go today. I sent her back to bed with neurofen and a hot water bottle and told her she'd probably feel better in the morning, but I'm getting an overwhelming vibe from her she doesn't want to go.

She hasn't been herself for the last few weeks, she's last year of Sixth form, so applications for further education. She's had offers from all of her chosen universities back but was inconsolable last week as she's also been rejected from all of the specialist drama schools she applied for- the Ucas application was for another subject and intended as a back up as the specialist drama schools are so competitive. When she sent off the applications she was intending to take up the university place if she didn't get a drama school place, but now it's actually happened she's decided she doesn't want to go to university and wants to reapply for drama school next year. She's at an academic school and so not getting any offers for a chosen course is very unusual, I don't think it's been easy for her seeing all her friends getting excited about university and place offers knowing she's going to be reapplying next year. She's been really low and unhappy since then, again she hasn't said as much, but she clearly hasn't been happy.

Since January she's had fainting episodes/dizzy/temporary lost vision spells, and episodes of what DD describes as severe pins and needles, she's had it a few times in dance classes and had to sit out because she can't physically put weight on her leg. Her dance teacher put it down to stress, I'm starting to wonder if it's all somehow connected and I should have pushed harder for a proper examination before. Do I take her to the walk in centre or is that overreacting?

An ectopic pregnancy, at the stage where it was causing fainting dizziness and abdominal pain would have a positive pregnancy test (although a previous poster is right that early on the test can be negative). So this is highly unlikely. And I am a doctor.

I had an ectopic and my surgeon said i was an incredible rarity because mine had ruptured and i hadn't been dizzy or fainted etc.

My pregnancy test was negative BUT my blood level was well over 1000 so they said they thought it was just me (the same happened with my daughter, bloods over 1000, baby there on scan, negative pee tests).

Anyway i think if it were an ectopic pregnancy and the symptoms had started over a few weeks ago it would be serious by now. Mine progressed in four days from a pain similar to a pulled muscle (Which is what i thought i'd done originally, as coincidentally, the pain started during training after a horse had tried to chuck me off and failed) to full on, screaming in agony, begging for death (It was horrific). The pain wasn't 'down there' either, it was in my side, Quite high up as i remember it. Near the top of my hip bone.

I had also started bleeding, but because i was on the injection i put it down to that causing irregular periods and hadn't thought about missing one the month before.

I really don't think your daughter is having an ectopic pregnancy. I think you'd know about it if she was by now.

Despite the dancing, I wonder if it could be an unperforated hymen too. Despite lots of bike riding, and over three years (from 15 to 18) of doing a martial art that placed a high importance on being able to kick above your head (I could do the splits, even), I still had a hymen at 18, albeit with natual perforation. In fact, the thing was so stretchy, it didn't break until the second time I had sex!

I think ask the gp for a referral to an endocrinologist and in the nicest way just say you are worried dd might be diabetic or hypothyroid and could the gp check for both while dd is waiting to see the endocrinologist. My own dd got v weepy and put on weight and was thought to be depressed until the penny dropped and it turned out she was seriously hypothyroid and I still feel guilty at how long it took us to realise it wasn't our fault she was weepy and that she actually had something wrong with her.

I really hope today brings some answers for you both.

I think you need to let your GP do their job and refer you to the most appropriate person, not go in asking for referrals to lots of different places.

Hope you get some answers, OP.

I hope you get some answers today OP. Have been up feeling ill in the night, and thought about you and your DD lots.

OK this morning OP? Hope she had a relatively good night, considering. I was thinking, if it IS just stress, could you suggest doing something completely removed from dancing and pressure to get in to drama school etc.? Go shopping, coffee, the beach for fish and chips and ice cream? Simple stuff but might help her unwind?

Despite YellowDinosaurs rather arrogant post I still think you should be pushing for a referral for gynae and endocrinological investigation.

I might take YellowDinosaur much more seriously if I didn't work in a hospital department concerning these which regularly deals with the consequences of patients who've been fobbed off by GPs for so long it has seriously compounded their conditions.

Has anybody suggested an ovarian cyst? I had a quick browse and didn't see it mentioned, but they can cause weight gain, absent periods, fatigue and pelvic pain.

Her GP has asked her to wait a couple of day not months.

So far well meaning mumsnetters have suggested referrals to:

Endocrinologist
Gynaecologist
Psychologist
Neurologist
Psychiatrist

I've lost count of the number of different conditions it has been suggested she has - PCOS, MS, adenoma, diabetes, optic neuritis, anorexia, pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy, coeliac disease, pituitary tumour, hypothyroidism, migraine, vaginal obstruction, PID, Turners Syndrome, ovarian cysts

Imagine how frightening that would be if that was your daughter.

Seriously please leave the job to the doctors.

I think bigbopeep has made the best suggestion for today. Go out for the day together if you can. Whatever she likes doing that isn't dancing or school work.

You've said you're going to make another dr appointment and I guess you've done by now so thinking about something else is an excellent suggestion IMO.

Leaving the job to the doctors meant I was very ill for two years with an undiagnosed thyroid problem that would have been easily rectified earlier with mediation if be doctor were not using antiquated 'normal ranges' for blood tests as many of them still are. Despite putting on three stone in less than 4 months and being very depressed and teary with a bulging neck! I was told to go on a diet and do some exercise. OP was asking for advice and support and got it. Yes there have been a lot of suggestions and most of us are not doctors but unfortunately it appears not all of us have had great doctors and whilst OP might be lucky and have a great doctor it's also good to do some research yourself.

One thing i did wonder OP is how often is DD sitting out in her dance class ? If her body has been used a certain level of exercise and then she has say halved that by sitting out in 2 or 3 sessions , then i would imagine she would easily gain weight , even 19llbs which is a bit over a stone . Given that i and plenty of people i know can put on 7 llbs on a weeks holiday , i dont think a weight gain of 2 or 3 llbs a week is dramatic . Just a thought .

But the OP has been waiting less than 24 hours, not 2 years.

I hope you find out soon what is doing this.

Your poor dd.

I hope you find out soon what is doing this.

Your poor dd.

Also at her age i would gain between 5 and 7 llbs the week before i started my period , once it started i would pee for England for about two days and then by the end of seven days have lost the lot . I am not suggesting that the whole 19llbs is water rentention , but a combination of that and a possible decrease in her excercise level could explain the weight gain . She has been going to all the dance classes i take it ?

Obviously i am not a doctor , but i was trying to think of a less sinister reason for the weight gain than those that have already been suggested . Hope you get the answers you need .

she will also need full bloods including Us&Es she may have a quite serious electrolyte imbalance

gynae/endo as a first off but bloods first. gynae if structural, endo if hormonal, and neuro if not to rule it all out. then explore other reasons such as psych. I don't think anyoe is trying to scare OP rather hold her hand and shed some light as to the myriad of conditions it could be - when all along it could of course be just some delay in starting periods in the setting of stress etc.

is there any chance she is taking laxatives or diuretics at all OP? these can account for blurred vision pins and needles and sudden weight gains

reassure her and have faith in her medical team they will explore the possibilities

Cafecito- I'm sorry but I don't agree that armchair diagnosis by non-medical people is all they helpful.

Lists of specialists and tests that must be done are for the Doctors to decide, not somebody that she has never met with no qualifications. The OP had seen the GP and is going back. The doctor needs to deal with it. Support from mumsnet is great, but I feel that this has got to the point of being quite damaging.

I am sorry I have nothing useful to add OP, but I just wanted to say that you sound like a great Mum, and I hope things are sorted soon for your DD.

Right, I have a doctor's appointment for Thursday morning. DD has seemed very depressed this morning, she's admitted to me she's been scratching herself because she's so disgusted with herself and doesn't want to go to her dance class because she feels so self conscious. Not really sure what to do with her :( Still no sign of her period. I'm struggling to get her to eat anything but don't know if that's because she still feels so bloated or because she's put on so much weight.

The sitting out of dancing I don't think is enough to account for the weight gain- this week is the first time she's not wanted to go, normally I can't get her to miss dancing when she's ill. She's always joined back in after a few minutes.

There is a lot going on here

OP, you seem to have been a bit reticent when talking to the doctor before, to spare your dd's feelings ? I think now is the time to get everything out in the open.