To be really worried there's something more sinister to this? Feel like I've failed DD

[karenaanna]

This could be long, sorry. Have NCed. Not sure this is the right place to post but more traffic and want to know if I'm worrying over nothing.

A bit of background- DD is almost 18 and is yet to start her period. I took her to the GP when she was 14 as I was concerned she wasn't showing any real signs of starting to hit puberty and they put it down to she being small for her age combined with the amount of intense exercise she does- at the time she was doing 20ish hours of semi-professional dance school a week and was planning on a dance career, she's now doing 18 hours but no longer wants to dance professionally, although she's still dancing at the same intensity. To this day she's never really had typical teenage mood swings.

Over the last few weeks, since the new year maybe she's put on a lot of weight, she's always been tiny, very ballerina esque and it's almost like she's suddenly gone into the pre puberty baby fat stage but at 17. Her level of physical activity and diet haven't changed. She hasn't said anything but is clearly aware. She's meant to be at a half term dance intensive this week starting today but came and woke me up in the middle of the night- which she hasn't done since she was about 6- in tears with what she described as stomach ache 'down there' (potential sign period is about to start?) and begged me not to make her go today. I sent her back to bed with neurofen and a hot water bottle and told her she'd probably feel better in the morning, but I'm getting an overwhelming vibe from her she doesn't want to go.

She hasn't been herself for the last few weeks, she's last year of Sixth form, so applications for further education. She's had offers from all of her chosen universities back but was inconsolable last week as she's also been rejected from all of the specialist drama schools she applied for- the Ucas application was for another subject and intended as a back up as the specialist drama schools are so competitive. When she sent off the applications she was intending to take up the university place if she didn't get a drama school place, but now it's actually happened she's decided she doesn't want to go to university and wants to reapply for drama school next year. She's at an academic school and so not getting any offers for a chosen course is very unusual, I don't think it's been easy for her seeing all her friends getting excited about university and place offers knowing she's going to be reapplying next year. She's been really low and unhappy since then, again she hasn't said as much, but she clearly hasn't been happy.

Since January she's had fainting episodes/dizzy/temporary lost vision spells, and episodes of what DD describes as severe pins and needles, she's had it a few times in dance classes and had to sit out because she can't physically put weight on her leg. Her dance teacher put it down to stress, I'm starting to wonder if it's all somehow connected and I should have pushed harder for a proper examination before. Do I take her to the walk in centre or is that overreacting?

hi karen you are sounding so tuned in to your dd.

i do apologise if she hasn't been long term restricting and what i was saying doesn't apply....just trying to throw suggestions in.

i really hope you get this all sorted soon and the right people get involved to help. it all sounds very distressing for her.

I'm so sorry for you and your dd. What an awful time she is having.

Trust your instincts and keep pushing for referrals if you are not happy enough is being done. Having two dc with health issues it has been the only way to get the care they need. Its frustrating and hard but long term it has been worth it.

Hang in there, the pieces will come together and you can help her get better.

Off topic but that's a terrible sweeping generalisation many GPs are fantastic, under extraordinary pressures, having to make very hard diagnoses and decisions with limited time and information from a frankly endless array of possibilities. GPs do a very good worthwhile and stressful job and are often highly skilled in specialist areas alongside being generalists.

Sorry the GP said that though in these circs it was inappropriate and potentially a very damaging comment.

I am not too surprised by the weight gain with the background of ED/purging behaviour

I hope she has immediately done FBCs to check electrolyte levels

I think it's a really positive thing that your DD has been so open and honest with you. It is important to encourage that and not ever make her feel ashamed - seek help now for the ED - often anorexia can be chronic and unnoticed, purging can go with anorexia not just with bulimia, there is a lot of overlap, and one may morph into another. I think you're off to a positive start - ignore the weight, it's really not an issue and is completely normal in recovery from anorexia for example to gain weight very rapidly sometimes, it's all under complex hormonal drives. Encourage normal eating and normal not excessive exercise levels. Make sure electrolytes normal, then investigate amenorrhea but this comes from being a low weight so may resolve itself naturally, all needs investigating, but lots of support out there - well done on having such a good relationship with your DD that she feels she can tell you the truth about this, that speaks volumes about how reassuring you are to her.

OP fat often goes to the central abdominal area first before being redistributed which can take a year or 18 months in some cases. In ED treatment it can be hard because it sometimes takes a while to look normal and right for it all to distribute properly around the body

22lb in six weeks is a huge amount.
I've had a dreadful few months and have been eating rubbish and doing much less exercise since Xmas. I've put on 8lb in two months.

As others have said, are there other signs of puberty? Body shape change might not be so noticeable, but what about body hair.

I think you should ask to be referred for a scan. Don't want to scare you at all, because I know you're already freaked out but the rapid weight gain and bloating/swelling can be a sign as you may already know, of ovarian malignancy.

It could also be a benign cyst...and many, many other things.

I just wanted to mention that so you can add it to your reasons if you do request a more urgent referral x

but she also told DD while her BMI was in the healthy range for her height she had a lot of abdominal fat and it was important to lose this as it's linked to health problems such as diabetes

Sounds like they were just trying to say something because they didn't want to look like they didn't know anything at all because they couldn't diagnose.
What a ridiculous thing to say. :/

I don't think she's been long term restricting, but then I didn't think she'd been purging either, so who knows. She's scratched herself raw down her sides. Bloodwork has been done, yes. She says she has body hair but only recently.

pooroldcat the gp who examined her this morning said as her belly isn't constantly bloated it would be weight gain "making her fat" and hormonal causes bloating wise. Whether I trust her or not I'm not sure.

Hmm. I know there have been a lot of things bandied about here, but have they tested her cortisol levels? All the itching makes my Cushings alarm ring, or possibly pituitary related, as this can include growth hormone deficiency with resulting big tummy and thin limbs. It can be a pig to diagnose as the thyroid TSH test won't bring much up. I put on 1.5 stone in 6 months and added 5 inches to my waist in the same time period when my pit failed. But make sure you are firm as it does sound mighty odd.

I hope everything went as well as it could do today OP, and that you get some answers soon.

H sorry, must have missed a page!

Not sure I would trust much that that GP said after those comments!

I personally would ask to see a different GP, they sound like very unhelpful comments.

I honesty think the scratching is self harm, she never does it around me. Dh has been working away for the past two weeks and is due back tomorrow, she's worried he's going to think she's fat :(

Is she still at school? Can you talk to her head of year and ask for help through the school?

Oh ffs the comments from the GP sadden but don't shock me. I have an ED and have had some corkers in the past.

Good luck withe results, you're doing a great job and your daughter is lucky to have you.

My jaw hit the floor when I read what the GP had said. As above, I'd insist ask for another GP - it might also help prove to your DD what codswallop they were talking, otherwise she might take it to heart :(

All the best to you both x

She NEEDS a good GP who you both can get on with. A few blood tests in A&E may not give you all the answers and they cannot provide you or her with the continuity of care that she needs for something puzzling/complex like this. I hope you find one and get some answers soon.

An ED would explain lack of periods, weight changes, bloating and rest of symptoms.
The fact that this is stressful academic time makes ED worse.
Self harming would also fit in the above presentation.
She may not even be fully aware of how she has been controlling food if it is a behaviour that has developed over time, she may not be aware she has had a problem for a long time.
Hopefully camhs can offer an appointment soon.

Oh, how frustrating that GP visit sounds! I hope the next investigations get you somewhere.

So glad the hospital have done some tests and well done for your perseverance and support. She's lucky to have you as a Mum, on her side :)
Is there anyway those scratch marks could be stretch marks? When my boobs first grew people kept asking if I'd scratched my chest! They appear at times of hormonal change combined with shape change and can be itchy too.

Looks a little like scratches?

I wondered about stretch marks. Also, sheay well be itchy due to her belly swelling. Much like pregnant ladies having dry itchy bumps.

hope you find answers soon op

She's still at school- and already saying she doesn't want to go on Monday. I tried phoning up to see if I could talk to someone this morning but no answer, going to send her year of year an email I think. DH has been away for two weeks and she's absolutely terrified he's going to think she's fat when he gets home, I wonder if she's going to be less dead against going to school come the weekend. It's a bit of a dilemma really, I sort of feel don't make her go but then this could go on for months, she's going to have to go in eventually.

puffin I think she already has taken it to heart :( She will NOT be seeing that GP again and I will be making a complaint.

Re stretch marks she's confessed to me she's been scratching because she's so disgusted with herself, it could well be a combination of both though. I've only seen from a distance, VERY unlikely she'd let me look the way she's been today but will ask her. Although not sure letting on to her it might be stretch marks is the best idea at the moment.