9 months ago I was 40. Since then I have...
developed arthritis (doc says I had it earlier, I dont believe him)
started farting ALL THE TIME and (this is the important bit) being able to identify what made me fart "Oooh, sorry, that'll be the cauli"
started pulling up and placing my boobs in my bra, something I havent had to do since me breast surgery 13 years ago
waking up with a bad hip and saying "ooh that bed is going to do for me"
saying "I'd better not, I'll be up all night" if someone offers me a cup of tea after 8pm.
I hate being 40, its shit.