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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to strongly suggest my mum takes my younger sister (10) to the Dr?

41 replies

ikeaismylocal · 15/02/2014 21:50

My dm and 10 year old sister are visiting us at the moment, this evening we were sitting down playing a board game and d-sis was finding it hard to breath, she described it as not being able to fill her lungs properly and not feeling like she was getting enough air. This lasted about 10 minutes, I opened the window which didn't seem to help much. Dm ignored it and said that this happens every once in a while.

I asked if they had been to the Dr about it and they hadn't, dm said she wasn't going to take d-sis to the Dr as it was probably either asthma or a panic attack and she wouldn't have her child being labeled as asthmatic as ever other child has an inhaler these days and d-sis would grow out of it.

Dm was never keen on taking her children to the Dr, I can't remember going to the Dr as a child.

What worries me is that if it is a panic attack d-sis is being told that it is ok and normal to feel like that and really the reasons why she is feeling panicky need to be addressed.

I love my mum and sister very very much, we all get on really well.

Should I really push my dm to take d-sis to the Dr or is this a my child my rules situation?

OP posts:
steff13 · 15/02/2014 21:53

It sounds like asthma, which I would think could be dangerous if left untreated. If she has another attack while at your home, try giving her a cup of hot coffee. And do talk to your mother about taking her to the doctor.

FoxesRevenge · 15/02/2014 21:54

Could you take her yourself?

SummerRain · 15/02/2014 21:54

I don't think it's likely to be asthma tbh as she's only having 10 minute attacks occasionally.

For everyone I know with asthma (2 kids, dp and countless friends) they will continue wheezing and struggling to catch their breathe until they receive medication.

What was happening right before she had the attack... was there any obvious cause of stress which might have triggered a panic attack?

gamerchick · 15/02/2014 21:54

she probably should. It could be anything including hyperventilating..iron problems there's no possible way to tell.

could you maybe take her perhaps?

notwoo · 15/02/2014 21:55

Did she mean something like ths:
www.failedsuccess.com/index.php?/weblog/comments/precordial_catch_syndrome_chest_pain/

jaffacake2 · 15/02/2014 21:55

Why cant you take her to the Dr ? She is your little sister and is clearly having problems. If this is asthma she could have a bad attack during the cold weather or at school.
Doesn't sound like a panic attack

deakymom · 15/02/2014 21:55

really sounds like she needs to see a doctor breathlessness is not just asthma my son has to be nebulised from time to time he does not have asthma but when he gets chesty his sats drop and he has to be hooked up to fix it he has just had steroid treatment too which helped massively but as i said he does not have asthma he has a weak chest and a heart problem she needs to got to see the doc even for a checkup

ManifestoMT · 15/02/2014 21:56

Have you a cat or dog as she may be having an allergic reaction. If not I would get her to a gp.

It's very strange reaction by your dm

Original poster
ikeaismylocal · 15/02/2014 21:57

Nothing significant happened just before the attack, we were having friendly banter about hurrying up with your turn in the game but non of it was aimed at her ( friendly banter is usual in our family)

Apparently they happen about once a week. We live in different countries so I don't think I can take her to the Dr here unfortunately.

OP posts:
bella411 · 15/02/2014 21:58

Could it be an allergic reaction to anything? .... I use to have the same feeling on not being able to breathe or get enough air in when I was at my sister's house and had been with her dog, tho wasn't knowingly alllergic to dogs!

If dm won't take her. Could you ask dsis if she wanted uto go with her ? If your d sis would like to get it sorted

PenguinBear · 15/02/2014 21:59

I'd ring your GP Monday and ask for advice. They may let you bring her in, especially if she is staying for some time!

Hissy · 15/02/2014 22:00

Wtf is wrong with your dm?

Her child is struggling for breath and she denies her medical treatment?

I hope your dsis lets this slip at school and someone calls help for her.

This is neglectful, whether you 'get on' or not. A child is ill and needs looking at.

Hissy · 15/02/2014 22:02

Why not call 111 now and describe the symptoms and have THEM advise if medical attention ought to be sought?

Unbelievable that you have to ask really, what on earth kind of conditioning has your dm done to you? :(

morethanpotatoprints · 15/02/2014 22:02

Do you have pets?
Also, change in climate can affect asthmatics.

frogslegs35 · 15/02/2014 22:02

I'd say something to your Dm.
If it is asthma it could be very serious and all these other children 'labelled' asthmatic will need their inhalers.
Not all children grow out of it, I didn't and neither has one of my sons. I don't like to rely on my inhalers too much but by christ, there's times I've needed to, so it's better to have one than not iyswim.

Also if it is a panic attack, why wouldn't your mum want your Dsis to be checked over/find the root of the problem/get help. It seems a bit cruel to simply ignore it.

WilsonFrickett · 15/02/2014 22:03

Could she be allergic to something? I have allergy induced asthma so am 100% ok unless I'm in a room with a cat.

But wtf, why am I trying to diagnose her over the web? She needs to see a doctor. YANBU. You can't muck about with breathlessness.

Original poster
ikeaismylocal · 15/02/2014 22:03

We have no pets but they have lots of pets.

I don't think that it is the issue of arranging a Drs appointment which is the reason dm doesn't want to take her to the Dr, it's that dm actively doesn't want her to be seen.

Are you allowed to take children to Drs appointments without the parents permission? I will take her if I can.

OP posts:
justtoomessy · 15/02/2014 22:09

It doesn't sound at all like asthma and you're mum is probably right to ignore in a way as it sounds like a panic attack. The fact it only lasts 10mins means she probably realised she wasn't going to get any attention and stopped.

Huitre · 15/02/2014 22:12

She needs to see a doctor. It could be mild asthma or something else. Even mild asthma can kill if left untreated. Something like a thousand people a year with uncontrolled asthma die from it. I don't know what the rules are about taking children to doctors but in your situation, I'd just go for it. If it's not asthma, it could be something worse. If you can get her seen, the situation will be miles better than if she's not seen.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 15/02/2014 22:17

Your mother is ridiculous.

It is called neglect when a parent fails to ensure that their child gets medical attention if required.

If your mother will not ensure your sister is seen by a doctor when needed, then you are going to have to do something about it.

OhMerGerd · 15/02/2014 22:18

Has she started her periods.... Or is there any reason she might be anaemic ? When I was this age I suffered these 'attacks'. Turns out I was chronically anaemic.
She needs up see a dr to rule out anything medical.

Gruntfuttock · 15/02/2014 22:21

I can't understand your mother's behaviour at all. Surely it is best to get your child checked out by a doctor than to do nothing.

Backinthering · 15/02/2014 22:22

Justtoomessy, no-one has panic attacks to 'get attention' ffs!

MajesticWhine · 15/02/2014 22:22

I recently called the out of hours doc about my DD experiencing breathlessness and was told to take her straight to A&E. So yes, it should definitely be checked out.

Original poster
ikeaismylocal · 15/02/2014 22:22

She hasn't stated her periods but she is a vegetarian although she eats a balanced healthy diet.

I'll call our Dr on Monday. D-sis doesn't want to go to the Dr so it could be tricky to get her to physically come with me as I don't have the authority to make her go.

I'll speak to dm and see if she will agree to take her when they get home ( only a couple of days away).

OP posts:
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