In assuming most men going on holiday alone to Thailand, are going to have sex with prostituted women or men?

[Grennie]

It is estimated that about 1% of Thailand's GDP is earned through sexual exploitation tourism.

In 2003 (the last year for which full figures are available) some 545,000 British residents arrived on visits. If you remove the children, and the British citizens visiting for business or reasons other than a holiday, you arrive at about 489,000—314,000 men and 175,000 women. That is 139,000 more British men than women coming to Thailand for a holiday—a gap of 28 per cent.

In no other international holiday destination, is there such a big difference in the number of women and men travelling there. There is no obvious reason for this apart from prostitution.

Tell you what brooncoo.

If it makes you feel better, you can say to me 'Beach, your Nigel went to Thailand, could that make him a sex tourist or at least someone who used Thai prostitutes and therefore potentially a rapist?'

Go on. Ask me, say it.

I promise I won't feel the need to turn the thread into being about him or me or our relationship.

I will just say 'yes it could considering what goes on there'. And then in my head say 'but to the best of my knowledge he didn't do those things and I know him to be a decent human being. I shall now continue this discussion about mass VAW and sexual exploitation of women and children at the hands of privileged western men rather than making it about ME and MY NIGEL (who are also privileged and western)'.

S'easy.

So would you go up to a lone male tourist in Thailand - anywhere in Thailand - because it's a massive country and accuse him of being a sex tourist or not caring about the sex industry?

That tourist who is interested in WW2 history and is going to see where his Grandad died on the Burma railway?

That tourist who is interested in culture and is going to see the temples?

That tourist who is into diving or rock climbing?

Would you?

Or likes James Bond and goes to "James Bond Island"?

just - you know it is perfectly possible to do all those things and still rape children in Thailand?

Or wants to go on a Buddhist retreat to the monasteries?

Would you accuse him? When he's sat at a cafe relaxing. And you sit down to have a discussion about the sex industry and how he supports it merely by being there?

"just - you know it is perfectly possible to do all those things and still rape children in Thailand?"

Well - you can't argue with that logic. You must hate men and have a really low opinion of them.

Yes a man wrongly accused of sexually exploiting and raping children and women, would be a terrible injustice to be avoided at all costs.

Or then again you could make personal attacks about aggressive, belittling shouting, brow beating ranting arrogant self righteous bullies who belittle, attack, browbeat and 'call for back up'.

Golly gosh.

Women and children are being prostituted, raped, trafficked, exploited and abused. It isn't bullying to be impatient with posters who prefer to nitpick over how many abusers there are and who exactly they are. If you know your Nige is a good 'un, get over it and stop with the me me me.

So would you go up to a lone male tourist in Thailand - anywhere in Thailand - because it's a massive country and accuse him of being a sex tourist or not caring about the sex industry?

No, I wouldn't. It was another poster who said that.

But I would make certain assumptions that it's a distinct possibility - because of the statistics that we know of, I'd be more likely right than wrong.

Just - Yes I have a very low opinion of men who buy women or children to use for sexual pleasure.

Well beachcombrr, I actually did used that tact at the start and was met with further derision and snidey insinuations. You could equally say why did certain posters feel the need to keep posting about my nigel ehen I had already said I have no proof of his actions but that I choose to trust him.

Tbh, I get the feeling nothing less than me sobbing and admitting of course you must be right, better LTB would do.
And I do know about the sex industry in thailand and am certainly not in denial. I've lived in asia and been to thailand many times. I would actually rather have had a conversation about that and possible ways to offer support and combat it rather than deal with unnecessary attacks on my husband.

I do wonder if those who go to great lengths to defend their male partner from an accusation that hasn't even been made, are over reacting because they suspect that it may be true.

Justanotherposter - did you NC to call us all bullies for naming the male-centric culture of sex tourism in Thailand? Or did you join up specifically?

Justanotherposter

This thread has been an eye opener as I find it amazing that people on here would challenge male strangers in Thailand and accuse them of being child rapists.

Irrespective of how we feel about the sex industry I think people with white coats would soon come to take them away as this is not normal behaviour.

Beachcomber.

Presumably you would have no sympathy for your Nigel if a band of mums net feminists bullied and harassed your husband, accusing him of being a rapist and supporter of the sex trade? I guess he'd be asking for it as being naive is not a suitable excuse.

Tech - Stop strawmanning. Nobody has accused anybody's husband of being a rapist.

Conversation on this thread:

OP and then
You can't say that, lots of men go there for beach, temples, diving, etc
It is not Western men, but Thai and Japanese men supporting the enormous sex industry
Various posters saying they had been there/lived there and agreed with the OP
OMG are you accusing my DH of being a rapist
What about statistics
Where did you get those statistics from
How do we know they are accurate?
You give feminists a bad name
You are bullying and harrassing a MNer about her DH

Notice what is missing? Oh yes, the women and children in Thailand. Because the truth is, most people don't care about them at all.

Well brooncoo I guess I would at that point have probably posted that I was a bit that people were turning the thread into being about my Nigel when there was a bigger discussion to be had.

I probably would have then linked to a paper or article about the human rights travesty that is the commercialization of sex in Thailand.

Grennie "I do wonder if those who go to great lengths to defend their male partner from an accusation that hasn't even been made, are over reacting because they suspect that it may be true."

And that isn't aimed at me and making that exact accusation in a snidey, passive aggressive way? You joking?

Will leave this thread now - you can all bang on accuse whomever you want. Must make Nigel some breakfast.

Who knows - but having seen the bullying and abuse people who challenge feminists on here get - NCing is probably a good idea.

Grennie

Why not start a thread in Chat or FWR which tells and educates people about the industry?

I could do it for you.

Grennie

No strawwomaning going on here. It's a valid question given the course of discussion a few pages back. People were claiming they would do exactly this, if they saw a man going about his business in Thailand. I was just asking beachcomber how she would feel if a rabid woman bullied her husband while he was on business there with a male friend.

Whether we care about the Menz or not, this would be insane behaviour and I find it quite scary that people would behave like this.

Challenge the sex industry, yes. Challenge potentially innocent Menz, no. That isn't caring about the Menz more than those poor women/children but just doing things in a less indiscriminate manner.

But hey, who cares about beachcombers Nigel anyway as he sounds to bloody naive anyway. What man on this planet doesn't know that Thailand doesn't have a thriving sex industry? That's like walking down Amsterdam and wondering why they use live mannequins!

AIBU to tell you that 2 million women and children are involved in the sex industry in Thailand and it's worth 2% of the GDP?

Grennie

Because if you really cared about those women, that's the thread you should have started.

But obviously you don't care because you didn't start that kind of thread.

It should have been pretty obvious even to you how your AIBU would go.
But maybe that's how you wanted it to go?

Anyone with half a brain could have predicted this AIBU and the responses. If you really are a feminist, you should be used to that - and alter your thread titles to have a real debate.