In assuming most men going on holiday alone to Thailand, are going to have sex with prostituted women or men?

[Grennie]

It is estimated that about 1% of Thailand's GDP is earned through sexual exploitation tourism.

In 2003 (the last year for which full figures are available) some 545,000 British residents arrived on visits. If you remove the children, and the British citizens visiting for business or reasons other than a holiday, you arrive at about 489,000—314,000 men and 175,000 women. That is 139,000 more British men than women coming to Thailand for a holiday—a gap of 28 per cent.

In no other international holiday destination, is there such a big difference in the number of women and men travelling there. There is no obvious reason for this apart from prostitution.

math - "If I were a man and didn't want someone to call me a rapist to my face then I wouldn't go alone to Thailand. "

So if you were in Thailand and you saw a man sitting or walking alone - you'd just go up and call him a rapist. I can see it's upsetting to see a man with a young female or male and I'd probably judge him (and have done) but just a man sitting alone or such. I might wonder if he was there for the sex industry but I wouldn't think it acceptable to go up and confront and I insult him on the fact that many men go there fr sex.

I would differ from you in thinking it isn't ok to confront, because chances are he would be there as a punter. 7 out of 10 times I would be exactly right.

And if he was distressed at the idea that men in their millions go there to exploit women and children I am sure he would be more than willing to confront other men too.

However, if he took umbrage and seemed less angered at the behaviour of other men than my well warranted accusation, then I would ask myself why he seemed to be more invested in his own feelings than concerned about the racism and sexism on a massive scale all around him.

yabu of course :p
My uncle is married to a lady from Thailand (they met, fell in love, blabla, same age and stuff, not shady marriage like many might think) - and he often travels there alone, as she goes for a few months and he comes after when he can (he works on a boat so away for a 4 weeks at a time). so travelling alone with no dodgy intentions!

all the evidence is worthless because... your uncle. Doesn't quite work that way.

Who are you to confront men just in case they might be up to no good (with no proof), do you realise how aggressive and crazy that sounds. You would run around just accusing men because they happen to be there and might be a sex tourist? Wow.

Why not ? Is it because it's much more important that we don't offend the sensibilities of men just because the lives of women and children are at risk ?

I'm so far past the idea that women should just accept that any man might be a rapist. Why not ask them ? If they're offended, they can take it up with their fellow men. Maybe once men start speaking out and judging other men for the harm that they do them as a class by hurting women and children, the rapists would think again.

Why would you put the potential ruffled feelings of possibly 3 out of 10 men ahead of the opportunity to confront someone who is more than twice as likely to be a rapist?

Are the feelings of men more important than the rotten lives of the men, women and children who are prostituted?

As to who I am to be so bold as to challenge someone who is more likely than not to be a rapist?
I am an Irish citizen, and a woman. Nothing more, nothing less.

I have a right to speak out about rape. So do you. Why wouldn't you?

Sorry, I think that's just crazy. Saying that any random man sitting, walking, eating on his own is up for being confronted and called rapist. Is this any man or are you just talking about white men here, what about random Thai looking men, Japanese or just Asian looking. What about a white man walking along with an Thai or Asian looking woman or female - just run up point and scream rapist.

I'm sorry. As awful as the Thai sex industry is - this is crazy, aggressive behaviour. My husband goes to Thailand - sometimes he will be on his own, sometimes with a friend, sometimes maybe even with an Asian or Thai woman. To think that he should be abused and confronted by outraged mumsnetters running around on a mission or even be held accountable (just because he is a man) for what other men get up to - is wrong and just plain weird.

Brooncoo - I would love to think that not every man is a potential rapist but how does that fit with society telling me that they are.

What message are women being given about men if they are :-

told to watch what they wear
told not to be alone with strange men
told not to walk home alone
told not to leave a drink unattended
told not to flirt with strangers
told not to get in a minicab without taking the registration
told not to go on a first date without giving details to friends or family
told not to give out mixed messages
told not to invite strange men into their houses.

It's not really the fault of women if they are constantly told that their own protection depends very much on treating every man as if they are a potential rapist.

So what then to make of a man, on his own, in a country notorious for the sex trade ? Surely it's only logical to assume that he is much more likely to be one of those dangerous or pitiful men ? After all, the odds are much higher that he is.

And so what if he isn't and his ego is offended - I'm offended by men telling me how to behave in order to protect myself and then taking issue when I do exactly as they suggest. Because of course, I, along with every other woman, am meant to know that that particular man happens to be one of the good ones. Well, sorry but until we start stamping the foreheads of rapists, I'll err on the side of caution as that's what society tells me I must do in order to be safe.

Men can't have it both ways.

It you would actually go up to any man (again is this any man of any race then if he happens to be pethaps sitting or walking on his own in Thailand). So you would go up to my husband and hurl abuse at him for just being a man on his own (or maybe whilst you were doing that I would suddenly appear from the loo or something ). maybe thepoor sod is just there on business, maybe he lives there. You would perhaps go up to my Thai or Asian friends husbands as they walk with them and confront them? Really? You really advocate such aggressive and bizarre vigilante behaviour just because they are men and they might be up to something? All for the greater good (no matter that folk minding their own business get taken down in the process) - thinking of vigilante nutter townsfolk from Hot Fuzz.

I hoe you are all getting carried away and joking that you would really behave like that.

I'm a bit pissed off with the Catholic Church at the moment what with the sexism and all the scandals, they continue to say no to contraception and abortion etc whilst this causes major problems in the most desperate and deprived parts of the world. Oh wait, most folk in Ireland are catholic and as such perhaps support this - maybe I should go to Ireland and just accuse and rant at ever person I see - as yo know they probably are catholic.

But that would just be crazy.

Math - "I have a right to speak out about rape. So do you. Why wouldn't you?"

And I have a right to speak about rape - you are right. Still wouldn't just go up and accuse any man who at that moment in time is on his own of rape - why would you? Would you honestly do this?

And of course the well being of women and children being abused in Thailand should have a much bigger focus on it, it really needs to be blown open and have every country take action against it and to highlight how obscene it is, shame those who participate before I get accused of being all about the men - I just can't believe these bizarre claims that any many should be attacked, shamed and accused just for being there and this is how you would tackle the situation.

Really doubt you would have any organisation involved in helping these women and children endorsing your views on ow to deal with any man and taking up your recommended vigilante behaviour.

What would be crazy in that scenario would be assuming the Catholic church is some kind of democracy whose members are consulted about its policies. You could accuse priests or bishops or nuns though, and in fact, plenty of Irish people have done that. Irish people have confronted the RC church about child sex abuse and have campaigned successfully for the right to buy and use contraception, and the right to divorce and to obtain an abortion. And guess what? Much progress has been made against conservatism, after decades of putting up and shutting up, and not by playing nice and sparing the feelings of conservatives and churchmen.

'Fight the real enemy'. This was not fully appreciated at the time it happened. It was maybe a little too crazy for the taste of some? But events proved her right.

And yes, I do believe I would go up to your husband and make my accusation. If someone makes multiple trips to Thailand and never once makes a peep about the ugliness he sees all around him, he deserves to hear anything I have to say on the subject. If you're a man in Thailand and you're not visibly appalled by what you see other men doing to other men, to women and to children, then I am sorry, but you are part of the problem.

Who gives you the right to judge every man in Thailand? I really don't know what to say to someone who thinks it's normal or acceptable to behave like this. Approach any unaccompanied man and accuse them of being a rapist. Would you also go up to my Asian friends husbands and confront them and accuse them of being rapists too. Would there be screeching and finger pointing? Would you approach an 18 yr old western male who might be sitting having a McDonalds (could live in Thailand and go to school there and rant at him?

I'm really speechless that you are not embarrassed to admit that you would act like this. Some mad lady running round ranting any lone male.

I couldn't find any kind of source for the 70% figure (an actual study, not just 'NGOs say') The same figure has been used on documents of up to 20 years old. I am surprised no survey has been carried it recently.

I would be surprised if it is accurate today.

Actually my Asian female friends have been accused of all sorts from being maids (not so bad it's just the ignorant assumption), to being prostitutes and mail order brides. I'm sure they have met people like you before and unfortunately had to deal with your rudeness and prejudice.

I am confident thanks to the figures that I would have a much higher chance of being right than wrong. More than twice as much of a chance in fact. Not bad odds.

I have the right to judge by dint of being a living, breathing human. Again, why would you give the benefit of the doubt to a man in Thailand? Who would you be trying to protect and why?

Who benefits from silence?
As with men who ignore the human misery all around them, it is my opinion that women who choose to remain silent are also part of the problem. So on top of asking men if they are rapists, I would ask women whose side they were on. I do not think there is a position open on the fence on this one. Could you really go there and have a good time knowing what was going on on an industrial scale a hop and a step from your hotel?

Btw, I don't know where you're getting the idea I would screech, etc.

Or run.

Is it really so jarring to you to think that men would be challenged about rape that the only way you can imagine it is by picturing some crazy woman running around, screeching, pointing, and ranting?

Well possibly AgaPanthers - it may well be more as it as a growing 'industry'.

It's not the judging. It's the actual harrassment of any man you decide fits your bill (being male, sitting perhaps minding their own business having a coffee or whatever). I believe there are probably laws actually against that kind of thing.

Doubt you would actually do this crazy behaviour in real life though, probably realise how crazy it makes you look but just can't admit it's OTT. I admire your stamina to keep going and refusing to realise your ideas on what action you are proposing are iffy at best.

To think you are actually serious is a bit scary and might get you locked up.

Math, you're not seriously suggesting that you would have a calm, rational discussion with the hypothetical man are you ?

You're going to disappoint posters with the idea that a feminist might just be capable of doing exactly that.

You've repeatedly said you see nothing wrong with approaching men and just outright accusing them of being rapists by the fact they are male, n Thailand and perhaps happen to be alone at that moment. Maybe I have read your posts wrong.

Sorry you still can't wrap your head around the notion of confronting men about rape while it is happening all around them, to the extent you think I must be crazy..

LOL at your idea that there must be laws against harassing men about rape.

No doubt there are laws.

No doubt the irony of that is lost on you.

Blistory, I won't rule it out