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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In assuming most men going on holiday alone to Thailand, are going to have sex with prostituted women or men?

785 replies

Grennie · 15/02/2014 13:52

It is estimated that about 1% of Thailand's GDP is earned through sexual exploitation tourism.

In 2003 (the last year for which full figures are available) some 545,000 British residents arrived on visits. If you remove the children, and the British citizens visiting for business or reasons other than a holiday, you arrive at about 489,000—314,000 men and 175,000 women. That is 139,000 more British men than women coming to Thailand for a holiday—a gap of 28 per cent.

In no other international holiday destination, is there such a big difference in the number of women and men travelling there. There is no obvious reason for this apart from prostitution.

OP posts:
HollyMiamiFLA · 18/02/2014 15:51

Ok.

51 people voted Tory.
49 voted Labour.

Here's a person. You must be a Tory voter.

Most people are Tory voters. Which is true in this case.
But that does not automatically make someone a Tory voter.

And for the record - again. I think it's wrong to automatically assume that a lone male is going to Thailand for sex. And if someone accused me of that when I went there, I would be really pissed off with them for making false judgements.

At the same time, many men do go there to exploit and rape women.

Look how you can separate those two statements.

HollyMiamiFLA · 18/02/2014 15:53

And then I would not be able to take feminist arguments seriously because they generalise too much.

Which is a shame because there's so much crap and abuse going on in this world that needs addressing - but some feminists have a great way of alienating people who should be their allies.

SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 18/02/2014 15:53

Holly, I'm at a loss as to why you are doing this to yourself.

We're not talking 51% - we're talking 70%.

70% is most - OP was NBU to use the word "most".

HighlanderMam · 18/02/2014 15:54

Most people are Tory voters. Which is true in this case.

most-men-going-on-holiday-alone-to-Thailand-are-going-to-have-sex-with-prostitutes

^Also true. So the OP INBU.

HollyMiamiFLA · 18/02/2014 15:56

Ok - she is NBU.

But I would also hope you would not automatically assume that a lone male is going for sex.

mathanxiety · 18/02/2014 15:57

You really don't understand how unimportant it is to avoid hurting the feelings of lone male travellers to Thailand, do you?

When you say 'on the one hand' BUT 'on the other hand' you set up an equivalence that is really gobsmacking. The two 'wrongs' here -- men assumed to be rapists when they are not, vs. mass rape of women and children, by men, in Thailand are so completely, unimaginably, disproportionate I simply cannot understand why you keep on harping on about it. Your determination to juxtaposition them constitutes a grotesque failure to understand what the issue is when it comes to rape.

It is not all about frigging maths.

FloraFox · 18/02/2014 15:58

Holly the numbers in the OP are 179 men for every 100 women. 70% of the men are specifically sex tourists so that doesn't include men who are going for some other purpose but rape women and children while they are there.

Frankly holly feminists can do without allies like you to police the conversation on behalf of men.

HollyMiamiFLA · 18/02/2014 16:00

What's wrong with not wanting to call a male a rapist to his face?

Would you want someone to call you a rapist to your face because you were a lone male going to Thailand?

HighlanderMam · 18/02/2014 16:01

Wow, only took 531 posts for you to concede.

No, I would not automatically assume that any individual lone man going alone would be going for the sex.

But I do assume that most that do go alone are going for that reason. Which is why the OP INBU.

Beachcomber · 18/02/2014 16:01

I have a (ex) mate who went to Thailand for the fantastic diving with his friends. Apparently most of the men bought sex whilst they were there even though they didn't specifically go to Thailand as sex tourists.

If 70% is the figure for what are defined as sex tourists, that is men who go specifically for sex, I wonder what the total % is of male visitors who buy sex. I mean once you add in the ones who go for the diving/rock climbing/temples/yadda yadda but still don't keep their dicks in their pants when offered Thai girls and women.

HighlanderMam · 18/02/2014 16:05

Who knows exact percentages Beachcomber, no one will know for sure.

But we can be sure it's most of them.

FreudiansSlipper · 18/02/2014 16:10

yes attack feminism when you no longer can argue

it is always blamed at some point or i should say those hairy butch man hating feminist moderate ones are ok Hmm

FreudiansSlipper · 18/02/2014 16:12

many travellers i met i am sure did not go out there for the sex they could buy but certainly many took up the offer

FloraFox · 18/02/2014 16:16

holly your lack of awareness of your position on this thread is astounding.

mathanxiety · 18/02/2014 16:25

If I were a man and didn't want someone to call me a rapist to my face then I wouldn't go alone to Thailand.

Judging by the fact that millions of men go there every year it would appear that either:
(1) not that many men are aware there is a bit of a problem in how they are perceived, which is odd since Thailand is infamous for its sex industry, or
(2) they don't care about being thought of as rapists.

You have taken on a task pretty much nobody has asked you to, Holly.

I personally think many, many more men should be called rapists to their faces. I am not sure it would make a huge difference because clearly there are millions of very shameless men out there, but it might be a start. You can't tackle an evil without naming it and identifying who is perpetrating it.

mathanxiety · 18/02/2014 16:30

HollyMiamiFLA Tue 18-Feb-14 16:00:20
What's wrong with not wanting to call a male a rapist to his face?
Would you want someone to call you a rapist to your face because you were a lone male going to Thailand?

Why is this such an issue for you?
Why does this very trifling 'injustice' that very obviously doesn't bother millions of men in the slightest merit such a bleeding heart on your part?

HollyMiamiFLA · 18/02/2014 16:30

Look - I didn't mean to upset anyone and I'm not going to say anymore on this thread as things are being misinterepreted and I'm sure if we were having this chat in a pub, it would be different.

FloraFox · 18/02/2014 16:33

What a pathetic, passive aggressive response. It's all on the nasty feminists again for misinterpreting you. I don't think so. You've been very clear Holly.

mathanxiety · 18/02/2014 16:35

It's not a matter of upsetting people, Holly.

Nor is it a matter of misinterpretation.

Or internet anonymity.

Original poster
Grennie · 18/02/2014 17:29

Actually if 70% of men are going to Thailand for sex toursim, and given that some men do go with female partners and so will have no opportunity to but women and children, then it will be way over 70% of men in Thailand without their female partner, who are doing this.

And nobody has misinterpreted you Holly. But we don't agree with you.

OP posts:
Bluestocking · 18/02/2014 17:33

70% is worse than I thought. This thread has been an eye-opener, in all sorts of ways.

HollyMiamiFLA · 18/02/2014 17:47

70% is much much higher than I would have thought as well. It is a shockingly high figure.

HighlanderMam · 18/02/2014 17:51

It's not higher than I thought.

FreudiansSlipper · 18/02/2014 18:06

70% seems very high

but when i think back to when i was there i am not surprised :(

FloraFox · 18/02/2014 18:17

Not higher than I thought and I think it's conservative. As many have said, some men going for other activities are also raping women and children in prostitution although they may not be going specifically for "sex" tourism.