Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be puzzled when mums suggest they know what it's like to be a SAHM because they were once on mat leave?

999 replies

BarkWorseThanBite · 14/02/2014 18:45

Two really nice mums - I like them both and we usually sit together at toddler group. However, more than a few times both have seemed to imply they know what's it like to be a SAHM because they took mat leave a couplel of years ago (till their babies were 9 months old).

Isn't that a bit like saying you know what's it like to be a single mum (I'm not) because your husband was away playing golf for a week?

Nothing against working mums at all - but the implication that they know what my life is like is a bit irritating.

AIBU?

OP posts:
LCHammer · 15/02/2014 20:58

Philoslothy - you'd need to spend the majority of your day organising culturally enriching experiences for your DCs, to the point of your and their exhaustion. It's da law.

Philoslothy · 15/02/2014 21:00

One of my children is the current local fencing champion and another had prize winning chickens . I must still be winning.

Procrastinating · 15/02/2014 21:00

Sorry. was joking.

morethanpotatoprints · 15/02/2014 21:01

Procrastinating

You may have it there.
I'm a sahp and don't worry about any of our dcs future.

I think I win though tbh. Grin

Sahm for 22 years, tried pre school for dc they didn't like it, H.ed and at times assist dh in business. As a director MummyofOne

Bingo.

Procrastinating · 15/02/2014 21:03

Having to juggle both job (mostly from home) and children means I am never 'present in the moment' with the children.

From what I can see you SAHM and WOHM both get that, I'm jealous of all of you.

waltermittymissus · 15/02/2014 21:03

Would it be funny if I asked what WOHM worried about? Abandoning their children?

That sort of stuff isn't really funny is it? Not if it starts in on your personal choices!

LCHammer · 15/02/2014 21:04

Fencing champion? As in fencing with swords or putting up fences? One is all too middle class, the other more wholesome, worthy. That'd tie in with the chicken grower. I like this family.

waltermittymissus · 15/02/2014 21:04

I win because I have a unicorn farm.

True story.

Philoslothy · 15/02/2014 21:05

To be fair I do worry if I am "abandoning" my children, that is why I went into teaching.- to have more time with them and be able to get home for 4pm at least once a week .

Ghanagirl · 15/02/2014 21:05

Sorry OP, I Bf twins for 13months then returned to work 2 days a week when they were 15 months, made them homemade puree's took them to stay and play gymboree etc, if you want to get into competitive parenting, you need to step it up a bit!!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 15/02/2014 21:05

Just re-read the op and I think
I would quite like my dh to go away for a week to play golf. Not long because I'd miss him by that point but I think the house would be tidier in that week as he works at home.
Where do they do this? do I have to send him far away?

Philoslothy · 15/02/2014 21:06

He can actually put up a fence and has been on a stonewalling course. But I meant with swords , nowt middle class about us.

hercules1 · 15/02/2014 21:06

I send my children to walter's farm to milk the unicorns. Fact.

waltermittymissus · 15/02/2014 21:07

Phil I shouldn't have said that. Nobody who is providing for their children is abandoning them!

I was trying to make a clumsy point!

capsium · 15/02/2014 21:07

Not my experience as a SAHP.

Spent a lot of time battling the barriers I faced in terms of DC's SEN. Attending appointments, filling in the gaps especially at one point when the school would only offer part time schooling. Being forced to 'volunteer' for every trip and swimming as CT said it was necessary.

Naive I know. Every child has a right to full time education and equal opportunities but facing SEN is a huge learning curve. Nothing prepares you. Then having to keep up to date with changing legislation.

Thankfully we have now, after almost a decade, won many of the battles. So I find myself with more time to pursue my own interests. I have plenty of them too, so still not bored.

Philoslothy · 15/02/2014 21:07
Procrastinating · 15/02/2014 21:07

Is it a milking unicorns journey?

hercules1 · 15/02/2014 21:08

My working day is intensive so I rarely have time to think about my dc if I am honest. I don't worry about them as I've been happy with my choices in care for them and changed care when unhappy.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 15/02/2014 21:08

walter doesn't everyone worry about their future?
I certainly do.
Do you think that wohps should worry about abandoning their children? It was your first response to a perceived attack.

waltermittymissus · 15/02/2014 21:09

Sorry OP, I Bf twins for 13months then returned to work 2 days a week when they were 15 months, made them homemade puree's took them to stay and play gymboree etc, if you want to get into competitive parenting, you need to step it up a bit!!

But can you provide them with their own unicorn?

hercules1 · 15/02/2014 21:10

Walter is quite tight and pays my dc 1 penny an hour because they can't work any faster.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 15/02/2014 21:10

Ok. X post walter

LCHammer · 15/02/2014 21:10

milking unicorns journey Grin

waltermittymissus · 15/02/2014 21:11

Is it a milking unicorns journey?

Grin

But of course. The journey also includes my growing then preparing homemade unicorn feed. Because I am that awesome!

hercules1 · 15/02/2014 21:11

That's why i have to work - to supplement their income - damn you Walter.