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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be surprised at the lack of food?

111 replies

NightCircus · 14/02/2014 17:09

Friend held a 50th birthday party at a social club type place.
It was from 7-12.
Band and disco.
Came with gift and bought own drinks.

Beforehand we had wondered if it would be a sausage roll/ sandwich buffet or maybe a vat of chilli or curry.
But there was no food at all! A number of guests were in their 70s.

AIBU to be surprised and think there should really have been something to eat?

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 15/02/2014 09:22

Yanbu
But I have experienced this horror before and now if we get invited to a party, we always ring and say: "shall we bring anything? Do we need to eat before?" Or something.

Don't have a party if you can't afford it.

BerniceBroadside · 15/02/2014 09:27

I would have expected food. At the very least snacks and birthday cake. Or if money was an issue they could have suggested bringing a plate in lieu of a present.

melika · 15/02/2014 09:31

YANBU that is VERY bad manners.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 15/02/2014 09:34

I'd have assumed nibbles at least, but would eat beforehand unless it was specified that there was a meal.

We used to eat around 7-8pm pre-DCS, as we got in from work around 6.30, however now they are off out to Cubs, Brownies and all sorts of other things in the 5-8 slot most week nights we eat much earlier, between 5 and 6 generally. I have found that a hard adjustment, but can't make the DCs not eat till they get back or they'd never get to bed.

SirChenjin · 15/02/2014 09:35

YANBU

No-one expects a sit down meal late in the evening, but at the very least you stick some snacks on each table and some cake if you're not doing a buffet.

nkf · 15/02/2014 09:46

I don't think it much matters when you eat your evening meal. I think a five hour evening party requires food for guests.

YellowDinosaur · 15/02/2014 10:03

I personally don't think it matters whether there is food or not at a party. I do think it is important to be explicit on the invitation as it's not unreasonable to think that a party starting at this time would offer food. If I'd have received this invitation I would have asked the hosts if food was on offer when I accepted the invitation and made sure to eat before of they'd said no.

Those of you saying that hosts not providing food shouldn't have a party do fuck off Hmm. Why on earth not? So because you're a bit skint you have no right to celebrate with your friends? Is not about trying to bag a load of presents on minimal costs as someone who nicely put it. It's about wanting to celebrate with your friends and not bankrupt yourself in the process.

I had a tight budget for my 40th so had a party a cheese and wine party starting at 8 pm at home. I was explicit in the invitation about what food was on offer and provided some booze but also asked guests to bring a bottle. If you think I'm right I can live with that, my friends had a fab time!

nkf · 15/02/2014 10:10

But you did offer food. These people didn't. Why are you aligning yourself with them?

FutTheShuckUp · 15/02/2014 10:21

But why expect your friends to 'celebrate' with you at their expense? Seems very one sided to me

Chunderella · 15/02/2014 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roussette · 15/02/2014 11:00

Bloody rude to expect people to turn out, buy their own drinks and not even get a peanut. Even the first drink being provided and a bowl of crisps would be acceptable but nothing is just cheapskate. They must have known people would be expecting something.

I'm doing a bit of a bash for far too many people at home soon. I'm just thinking of the wording. We intend buying a barrel of beer, providing endless cava/prosecco and the food will be lots of different cheeses, french bread, pickles and pate. I will probably put on the invite "light snacks" or something similar. To provide nothing is just plain rude.

As for eating early - we do. Changing my eating time from 8-9pm to about 6pm was one of the things that I think helped me lose a lot of weight as I am probably rather sedentary after 9pm and going to bed after my main meal meant I wasn't working it off. I am now used to eating early and much prefer it.

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