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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be surprised at the lack of food?

111 replies

NightCircus · 14/02/2014 17:09

Friend held a 50th birthday party at a social club type place.
It was from 7-12.
Band and disco.
Came with gift and bought own drinks.

Beforehand we had wondered if it would be a sausage roll/ sandwich buffet or maybe a vat of chilli or curry.
But there was no food at all! A number of guests were in their 70s.

AIBU to be surprised and think there should really have been something to eat?

OP posts:

Topaz25 · 14/02/2014 18:30

YANBU. I would expect food at a party between those times as I don't normally eat dinner before 7pm. I would certainly expect to be told if there wasn't going to be food so I could eat beforehand.

AfricanExport · 14/02/2014 18:32

YANBU

If there is no food that's fine but they should let people know . I would expect there to be food because it's the norm,
wouldn't bother me of there wasn't but it makes for hungry guests.

A friend did this and ended up ordering 20 pizza's on realising everyone was starving.

hugoagogo · 14/02/2014 18:37

I have my tea between 5 and 6, this is perfectly normal. I have heard of people having 'dinner' about 8 o'clock, but I wouldn't like it. I would end up snacking constantly and then not wanting any.

As for parties- there should at least be nibbles.

kitsmummy · 14/02/2014 18:37

YANBU, incredibly rude and tight (particularly with no drinks provided either).

Ragwort · 14/02/2014 18:42

Totally bizarre to me, I would expect a meal if I was invited to a party starting at 7pm - and I wouldn't dream of hosting a party without food being the main attraction .

Also don't understand how so many people can have their main meal around 5pm - if you are not out at work surely you are ferrying children around to after school clubs etc. 5pm round here is a cup of coffee and a bun time ; evening meal around 8pm.

Ragwort · 14/02/2014 18:43

I have my tea between 5 and 6, this is perfectly normal.

Might be perfectly normal to you but it's perfectly normal for me to have an evening meal after 7.30pm.

SuperScrimper · 14/02/2014 18:45

YANBU. I would have expected food. What a crap party to have no food and buy your own drinks I think the 'host' just wanted presents at limited cost to herself.

Thisvehicleisreversing · 14/02/2014 18:50

YADNBU I'd have left to get a curry if I'd realised there was no food.

Parties = buffet. 'tis the law.

MrsKoala · 14/02/2014 18:50

I went to a 21st once and there was no food, it was a summer thing and they had splashed out on a marquee in their garden for the disco and had hired a bouncy castle and other garden activities. It had started about 6 (we didn't go till 8 as had a family dinner first - thank god!). It was in a rural place with no chippies or shops or anything and the hosts were 'putting up' about 30 of the guests so they couldn't leave. It was a bring a bottle - which got whisked away and everyone was served the most awful wine (libfraumilch) and really strong beer. I have never seen so many people vomiting in my life. It looked like noro had swept thru the place. Apparently in the morning light the bouncy castle was covered. I could understand if the birthday bloke had organised it but his very sensible parents had done all the arrangements. They cut the cake at 11pm and people were rabidly crowding round and desperately snatching at slices

Btw - This always boggles my mind on MN - I don't know anyone who would eat their evening meal before 7pm.

YANBU OP, i think it' bad form not to cater for your guests adequately.

Bowlersarm · 14/02/2014 18:53

YANBU

You should have been forewarned if no food supplied at a party of that timing.

NatashaBee · 14/02/2014 18:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaGuardia · 14/02/2014 18:57

I would not expect food for a party that starts at 7pm. Would have food then go can't stand buffet food that everyone has coughed over anyway.

SpottyDottie · 14/02/2014 18:58

I would have expected a buffet.

LittleBearPad · 14/02/2014 18:58

7's too early for no food. Yanbu

HavantGuard · 14/02/2014 19:01

I'd be stunned, particularly as it was bring your own drinks too. Utterly cheapskate.

I'm also surprised that anyone over the age of 10 has dinner before 7pm!

Soditall · 14/02/2014 19:07

I've never heard of a party without food!

YANBU! We were always raised that if you had guests you fed them.
We're all well known for preparing enough food to feed an army.

I've helped out with food in the past if a friend of member of the family wanted to have a celebration but were either going to struggle with preparing the food on they're own or were going to struggle with being able to pay for it all.

AndHarry · 14/02/2014 19:16

YANBU. I've been to one solitary evening party where there was no food and it was miserable. I do love a buffet, not just because I'm a greedy cah but it also acts as a social oiler, ice breaker and general increaser of bonhomie.

brainwashed · 14/02/2014 19:21

I definitely wouldn't think to eat before a party starting at 7pm. I'm not having my dinner til 930 tonight.

bigTillyMint · 14/02/2014 19:30

I have been to a couple of 50ths which were held in a sort of social club and neither had food (well, maybe some crisps and a cake) and both were great fun. They started at 8-8.30 IIRC and I definitely didn't feel anything was missing!

Mugglewhump · 14/02/2014 19:31

We once made the fatal mistake of assuming there would be some kind of buffet/food when we were invited to an evening wedding reception.

We turned up on time only to find they were running spectacularly late and had to stand outside for over an hour waiting for speeches to finish. Not invited into marquee and no where to sit even if we had gone in. No drink offered just completely ignored.

Eventually speeches finished and we were starving. Only food was the wedding cake which was one of those cheeses piled on top of each other plus a few baguettes sliced up. The only alcohol was beer or guinness. I can tell you now that a vast amount of stilton and guinness on an empty stomach is a very bad combination for my dh.
The aftermath was horrendous!

NewBeginings · 14/02/2014 19:56

I'm Also surprised that adults eat so early, in RL I have only known children to eat at 5/6pm or very frail elderly folk in an old folks home! Our normal eat time is 8.30ish

Topaz25 · 14/02/2014 20:05

Mugglewhump
Wow I think it's really unacceptable not to do any food for evening wedding guests. So basically you're good enough to bring a present but not worth feeding?

I was an evening guest once at a wedding that wasn't that bad, but the evening do started at 6pm and I didn't eat beforehand because I normally don't have dinner that early anyway and I didn't want to ruin my appetite for the buffet. I forgot that the day guests and the couple would have eaten the sit down dinner about 3pm so they weren't hungry at 6 or 7 or 8...the buffet didn't open till 9pm after hours of dancing, by which time myself and some other evening guests were wilting and wondering if food was being served or if we'd have to pick up a pizza on the way home! Also the main dish at the buffet was tortilla wraps and I'm vegan. I managed to track down a member of staff who told me which were veggie. Unfortunately she also assured me a pastry canapé filled with some kind of paste was veggie. Guess what? Beef is not a vegetable! She only realised her mistake when I'd already eaten one!

sixlive · 14/02/2014 20:06

All the over 70s I know have their main meal at lunchtime and then a snack dinner so I wouldn't worry about them. Most people are still at work at 5pm let alone having their dinner then. I would have left after an hour and said you were going to get something to eat, I would have been tempted to whisk my gift away.

BackforGood · 14/02/2014 20:10

We eat at around 5.40 most nights, partly because I'm hungry then, but partly because almost every night, at least one person will be going out somewhere in the evenings - be it Scouts or meetings, or choir or swimming, or even "out out" to the theatre or something, which starts at 7.30 so you have to leave home by 6.30.
Don't see why people find it difficult to understand that not everybody works to the same timetable as their house does.

miffybun73 · 14/02/2014 20:11

YANBU.

We never eat our evening meal before 8.

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