To be surprised at the lack of food?

[NightCircus]

Friend held a 50th birthday party at a social club type place.
It was from 7-12.
Band and disco.
Came with gift and bought own drinks.

Beforehand we had wondered if it would be a sausage roll/ sandwich buffet or maybe a vat of chilli or curry.
But there was no food at all! A number of guests were in their 70s.

AIBU to be surprised and think there should really have been something to eat?

YANBU. How odd!

I was invited to a wedding, I was 22 weeks pregnant at the time and there was no food there at all. At a day time wedding! There was a buffet at the night time do though

YANBU. I only ever eat my dinner at 5pm if I'm staying with my parents, and then we have a supper later in the evening. So either "dinner" or "supper " ought to have been provided , or that made clear on the invite (a la Michelle O)

I would of assumed there would be food. Reminds me of a wedding (mostly evening) do we were invited to. A minibus full of us travelled from Oxford to South Wales setting out at 3pm ish, didnt stop for food as we thought there would be at least a buffet, but there was non and the venue didnt even sell sandwiches or food of any sort.

Strangest wedding I have been to

Yanbu. I would have eaten first though as I would be hungry before 7, and I wouldn't want to drink on an empty stomach.

For posters who are saying only children eat before 7 - not true. We eat early. Dh leaves for work at 6 am so has lunch around 11am & is starving by 6 pm. Kids are also hungry early so we all eat together as a family each evening around 6pm, can't understand how anyone would find this odd?

I find it odd that people eat so late. Who needs the hassle of cooking late at night, I'd rather be relaxing when the kids are in bed. :)

I usually eat my tea at 5.30-6pm on a weeknight, but that's because my DH leaves for work at 6.30 am, so breakfast at 6, lunch at 12 and tea at 6ish as we are usually starving! At weekends we don't eat that early.

However if we were going to a party that started at 7pm then I would expect there to be at least some sandwiches provided and would maybe just have a snack to tide me over til then.

Where I come from professionally IYSWIM nobody even leaves work until 5pm at the very earliest and has probably an hour's commute if they're lucky, so most of us could only eat before 7pm if we were doing so on a train

And once you've trained your body to wait until then, eating at 5 or so just means you're eating again at 9pm anyway - precisely when a buffet should be turning up at a party

A 7pm start time would be inferred to include some kind of food even if only crisps etc. £30 goes a long way in cheese balls and supermarket own brand Pringles.

YANBU. I have never in all my life been to an evening party (and God knows I've been to thousands of them) that has not provided food. I would have been gobsmacked. It's so unusual not to serve food that I would have expected to have been warned beforehand..

Can i just ask all those who wouldn't dream of eating dinner before 7 - how about if plans make it impossible for you to eat dinner later? (such as going to a party?). Surely on a Saturday, you can just eat a bit earlier as a one off rather than expecting someone else to provide you with a meal sized portion of food just because YOU don't generally eat dinner that early?

Yes if you are hosting a party you should ideally provide some food, but to me that means buffet, not catering for x amount of people to turn up expecting their main meal of the day.

I have never been to any party, ever, that had no food. And that is from being a penniless student to now. I HAVE however had dinner at home, thinking it was a nibbles kind of party, and arrived to a full dinner. I think it is always wise / polite to let people know what to expect. I also personally think in terms of safe drinking, etc, that food should be provided. Doesn't have to be expensive. For DH's 40th, for example, we had a "make your own sandwich" zone - loads of different breads, cheeses, cold meats, etc. All mostly from Lidl. The pub we were in were happy to let us bring it into their private room as we were also bringing so many guests.

XiCi "I have never in all my life been to an evening party (and God knows I've been to thousands of them) that has not provided food."

Until I was in at least my mid-twenties, I had never been to one which started before the pubs shut and everyone was already wasted! Never a pork pie or Kettle crisp in sight back in those days!

I don't think you're being unreasonable. It's a five hour party starting at 7. There should be something provided. Even sandwiches (love a buffet).

Or at least state on the invitations to eat before hand. I never eat before 7. Too busy doing bath and bedtime.

They could have eaten before going is they were told they'd be no food JR, but they weren't.

YANBU to assume food would be provided.

So if you dont eat before 7pm, does that mean you dont eat with your kids?

My friend and her DH eat about 8:30pm, yet bemoans the fact that her kids have no table manner despite being told by her over and over. They are 8 and 6, coincidence that they never have family meals at 6 ish and have no table manners.....?

BTW when I was working FT as a lone parent of 2 I still managed to do a 6:30pm dinner thanks to a slow cooker!

I've never thrown or attended a party with no food at all since I was a student, and even then most people bunged out bowls of crisps. As an adult, never.

Agree, Bogey. And my Mum always ate a cooked supper with us as a working single mum, too.

So to arrive at a 7pm start party you'd be leaving the house at 6.30pm latest, and getting ready from 5.30ish, so would have eaten at 5ish at the latest. My stomach rumbles would be ruining the disco by 9pm.

We tend to end up eating at 8pm with young DCs. They don't have to be up before 7.45 so it works with their daily pattern, and means we can eat togrther in one sitting. It also means we don't get evening munchies.

Sorry but the people in their seventies point made me laugh!
Yanbu aside from that. I find it very rude to basically have a do but not provide so much as a twiglet.

A 50th birthday celebration and no food?

I wouldn't be happy at all! I live for the buffet at these types of events. Yanbu. I would have been surprised too.

I really fancy a cheese and pineapple hedgehog now... and cold quiche

Oh oh and little sausage rolls!!

yanbu OP... odd

Ice -I also laughed at the post about people in their 70s. .

My parents are in their 80s and have a 'formal' evening meal every night around 8pm, with a glass of sherry first and wine with the meal. .

I guess what time you eat your evening meal depends on your working habits, whether or not you are going out or have after school activities etc etc.

But also I just couldn't face a 'full hot meal' before 7pm - it just wouldn't feel right. . I had a friend who would regularly serve up a full roast dinner around 5pm on a week night - it just felt wrong to me.

If we are going out where food wouldn't be provided we would have a sandwich type meal first.

YANBU it would be seen as very odd where I am from (North West) a party like that always has a tonne of sandwiches and other savoury bites as well as cakes! People would mutter....

I think the comment about the people in their 70s was more to with the fact that older people aren't dancing etc much so they like to sit and chow down....also, they get peckish if out late!

YANBU at all!
So all they provided was a room for you to bring them presents and a bar you paid for.
If they are tightwads they did it on purpose.
Maybe they're just clueless- a bit odd to get to that age and be so inept.