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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what I should bring as a gift for my friend with 6mo twins and no sleep?

54 replies

SybilRamkin · 14/02/2014 15:09

My friend had twins 6 months ago, and since then I've barely seen her (she lives in a different city 1.5 hours away). Tomorrow a few friends and I are going round to hers with lunch (we're bringing it from M&S, so no prep involved for her, or clearing away, which we will be sure to do).

She's really knackered as the babies don't sleep well, and I'm worried about us all descending on her, but we offered to take her out for lunch and she suggested this instead.

We want to take her a gift, but don't know what to buy a chronically sleep-deprived first-time mum, since they don't seem to stock a good night's sleep in HoF or John Lewis - any ideas?

Thanks in advance, we are totally clueless and don't want to bring something she'll never use or will hate!

OP posts:
pjmama · 14/02/2014 15:22

A voucher for a massage and a facial, plus a promise to babysit for a couple of hours!! Or you can't go far wrong with wine and chocolate.

Minionionionion · 14/02/2014 15:23

Food :)

A few frozen meals for her and dp and some treats like crisps and deserts and things as well

I think you are very lovely to help by the way :)

MTBMummy · 14/02/2014 15:25

A promise to baby sit, and send her off for some pampering, or a dinner out with her DP

Nomorepeppapig · 14/02/2014 15:26

Some nice new make up or a good face cream, something with vitamin c. And some chocolate, always chocolate!

HarrassedAtWitsEnd · 14/02/2014 15:30

Food! Take her nice meals she can freeze. Or arrange for a cleaner to come a few times? Or if poss arrange for the babies to get taken out for a few hours. The problem with spa type vouchers is finding the time to use them...
Or could ask her what sleep aids she hasn't got and throw things like Ewan the sheep/babydan lambskins etc etc at her?
Very nice gesture :)

Original poster
SybilRamkin · 14/02/2014 15:30

All of those sound like excellent ideas, I think the voucher, vit c cream and freezer-food are all marvellous plans. Ooh, I get to spend the morning baking delicious quiches etc, hurrah for an excuse!

OP posts:
AngelaDaviesHair · 14/02/2014 15:34

I would have loved a soft warm shawl for all those night feeds when you end up utterly freezing. And chocolate, maybe a lavender pillow.

gobbynorthernbird · 14/02/2014 15:36

Can you get hold of any valium?

HarrassedAtWitsEnd · 14/02/2014 15:43

Neals yard do a lovely beauty sleep cream (and body cream and candle) ;-). Am sure your friend will be so pleased

Original poster
SybilRamkin · 14/02/2014 15:44

Gobby - for my friend or the babies?!

OP posts:
Mandy21 · 14/02/2014 15:45

Yes yes yes to food that she can freeze and just bung in the oven. Yes to a babysitting voucher - can you and friends say you will each do the last saturday night of the month for the next 3 months or something so she can have a couple of hours of adult time with her H. Or even better, if you and your friends can all make it one weekend - a couple of you will take the babies out for the morning, one will make her lunch, one with clean whilst she lies in the bath / goes to get her hair cut / goes out for a walk or whatever she wants to do with her H. What about a supermarket shop delivery pass (you can get them for 3 months etc so she can have her shopping delivered for 3 months). If you know the local area, could you pay for a cleaner? Someone to do the ironing for a couple of months? Have a look at the twinsgiftcompany.co.uk - quite a few good cards on there for how wonderful mums of twins are.

pianodoodle · 14/02/2014 15:45

Someone brought me a big cooked chicken it was brilliant :)

gobbynorthernbird · 14/02/2014 15:50

Sybil it'll be wasted on the babies.

QueenofKelsingra · 14/02/2014 15:56

if the weather is ok ish take the babies out for a walk in their pram and let mum sleep. I have DTs, the first year is unrelenting, especially when they don't sleep well. a promise of babysitting is one thing but I doubt she will take you up on it as she will probably feel she is putting you out, if you say to her that you will take the babies for a walk and will be back in an hour or so and let her get some rest right there and then I expect she'll appreciate it. I would have!

KatoPotato · 14/02/2014 15:59

I'll never forget the day MIL came round with ear plugs and sent me to bed!

hippo123 · 14/02/2014 16:02

Luxury bath items?

TheFutureSupremeRulersMum · 14/02/2014 16:08

The voucher for a massage could annoy her if she feels she doesn't have any free time to use it. Unless it comes with an offer to babysit.

petalsandstars · 14/02/2014 16:09

Food for freezer, stash of lovely chocolates, some nice coffee or tea and cake. And yy to the voucher for a couple of hours of time for sleep with babies out for a walk. Also a good idea may be for a hairdresser to visit her home so she's not worried about leaving the babies for a specific time. cleaner is also a fantastic idea

LaQueenOfHearts · 14/02/2014 17:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

missymayhemsmum · 14/02/2014 17:13

All the above plus warm pretty slippers and lavender oil.

Snatchoo · 14/02/2014 17:18

Yes, defo take the twins for a walk and let her sleep. Even better, let her sleep as soon as you get there, go out for two hours and then come back and cook the food ready for when she wakes Grin

I have twins, and had no help whatsoever the first year other than the odd occasion my family came up for a day or so. It is really difficult.

DoItTooJulia · 14/02/2014 17:25

Magazines, iTunes voucher, a couple of DIY Beauty bits (posh shampoo and conditioner), a bottle of wine, some posh ready meals. A toy for each of the babies (a token gift), stuff like that?

Fresh01 · 14/02/2014 17:38

If there are a few of you going. Have a chat and get babies fed then send mum to bed. One go out with babies in pram. One clean bathrooms and mop floors. One iron and make lunch. You could all do a lot in a couple of hours. Then have a lovely lunch together. The mum would really appreciate it. A large pot of chilli in portions for 2 could do them 3 different nights. Same with portions of curry or spag Bol. She could do rice or pasta but having portions of homemade sauce in the freezer would be a great help,

mrsjay · 14/02/2014 17:41

tell her to get lunch down her neck quick and go for a nap plenty of you to help with the babies she will love you forever and dont be fooled witht he polite oh i cant yes she can she needs a sleep

BakingWithToddler · 14/02/2014 17:43

Thermal mugs - at least two. Means she can make more than one cup of tea at a time and they'll stay hot for when she gets a few seconds to take a sip or two.

If she's 6 months into sleep deprivation due to the twins, just sending her up to bed after you've had a catch up over lunch may just have her crying tears of happiness as the prospect of a couple of hours uninterrupted sleep while you look after the twins.

Also, I know she's a distance away but I agree with previous posters that sleep is what she'll really want at the moment so if a couple of you agree to a couple of dates when you'll drive to her house and send her up to bed you would really be giving her what she wants. If you opt for this, buy one of the amazing Dunelm Mill Teddy Bear Mattress Enhancers for her bed - its like sleeping on a cloud so her couple of hours sleep will feel even more luxurious!

A box of snacky stuff for her that she can eat one-handed would also be a good idea. At the 6 month stage with DD1 I was mainly eating whatever cut up fruit / veg she'd left over as she was a velcro baby who never let me put her down for longer than it took to make her lunch / tea!

If you know she's up in the night for long periods with the twins, a box set of something she's hasn't seen but you think she'd enjoy would be good, or a subscription to netflix / similar. I was loaned a copy of Grey's Anatomy Season One when DD2 was born and was instantly hooked. Watching season one - ten during her frequent night feeds and midnight feeding marathons made it almost enjoyable to be awake when everyone else was sleeping!