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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to invite all of daughters new nursery class for her birthday?

53 replies

Slightlyneuroricnat · 13/02/2014 22:16

Thinking of possibly godstone farm if any of you have been to one there?
Looking for other peoples experiences!
Will have about 30 kids if we go with plan above for my daughters 4th birthday party and stuck on ideas :(

OP posts:
HortenMarket · 13/02/2014 22:23

If you want to invite them all then go ahead. Not all of them will come. Its not long before they only want a select few anyway, so if you can do it now, why not?

starlight1234 · 13/02/2014 22:27

No idea what happens at the farm.... but 30 4 year olds are an awful lot...I had 23 at my DS's 5th birthday party... The TA even said rather you than me...

Ensure you calculate cost for all before you make a descision ...good luck

Original poster
Slightlyneuroricnat · 13/02/2014 22:30

Thanks,
She will only have been there 7 weeks before the party so can't really narrow it down without causing offence so think better to invite the whole class!

OP posts:
snowpo · 13/02/2014 22:34

Wow, 30 - I did 8 4yo's at Godstone Farm last summer and that was quite enough. The hard bit is keeping them all in the same area and moving along together.
The farm couldn't book a party on the date I wanted so I just took a load of food myself. Are you thinking about now or later in the year? In the summer its great but I'd do the animal bit first and go up to the playgrounds last or you'll never get them away from the sandpits and climbing frames! Mind you my lot were boys...

EntWife · 13/02/2014 22:37

we have been to Godstone Farm several times. Not for parties though, just days out. It is great there. They have party rooms i believe and the big play barn plus the petting animals.

re inviting the whole class, we are planning to do the same for DD1's 4th birthday. Given how her friendships seem to shift so frequently (new best friend nearly every week at the moment) it seems the best way to run it. Also i would like to cultivate some relationships with the other parents. We will probably just hire the local church hall though and put a bouncy castle in it and let them have at it.

Salmotrutta · 13/02/2014 22:39

Why do people feel obliged to invite everyone to birthday parties nowadays?

This is a genuine question.

Your child surely isn't best pals with all of them?

I've said this before on here but I told mine they could have 4/5 friends for tea and their sibling could invite 1 or 2. Then we played games in the house or garden.

Party bag at the end. Sorted.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 13/02/2014 22:40

Godstone Farm is fantastic. Cute animals, lots of hand washing facilities. Brilliant adventure playgrounds and two excellent indoor soft play barns. My four year old and his friends love it.

It is a very big place though. How would you keep them all together? You might not see some kids until the food is brought out.

Depending on where you are, maybe the Arc at Caterham is worth looking at?

BrianTheMole · 13/02/2014 23:02

Do it. It will be fun. Great chance to meet the other parents as well. I did this for my dd's 4th birthday. Dd loved it as it was a nursery class attached to the school, so she could see them all outside of school. And it was nice to meet the parents, some of who are really close friends now. Can't remember how many there, 33 turned up I think.

curiousgeorgie · 13/02/2014 23:09

That sounds great, and isn't there a huge soft play and party room in the package? That's the best way to deal with loads of kids Grin

Original poster
Slightlyneuroricnat · 14/02/2014 00:27

The arc is an idea actually, we aren't too far from there.
Just thought with so many children it may be better somewhere quite big and not so on top of each other!
But again, may not be able to keep them in the same place now thinking about it!

OP posts:
Ericaequites · 14/02/2014 03:16

The sensible rule is to invite a number of children equal to the child's age, plus one.

MsAspreyDiamonds · 14/02/2014 05:00

Can you hire a hall, hire a bouncy castle, face painter or entertainer for a few hours? Throw in some food, party games, cake and party bags and you are sorted. I would rather do that then traipse around a farm for a few hours with 30 kids!

Good luck.

diaimchlo · 14/02/2014 07:23

We always invited the whole class to my DGDs parties untill she was old enough to develop close friendships. That way there would be no child feeling left out. There was never all of them attending. Great parties though Smile.

HadABadDay2014 · 14/02/2014 07:27

No idea on the farm, but is it wise with weather wise.

DC would not be going if it wet and windy.

Original poster
Slightlyneuroricnat · 14/02/2014 08:38

Hadabadday,
Really? We often wrap up and head out to farms etc, unfortunately in England its rainy or windy most of the time!
The thought with that farm was that the indoor play area is so big that if it was raining no child would HAVE to be outside.
I did originally look at soft play areas considering it will e October but we need exclusive use really due to the amok t of kids and they all seem to have really silly exclusive times such as 9-11am or 630-830pm which I don't think many parents would come too!

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 14/02/2014 08:43

Why don't you hire a hall and do the entertainer thing. Thats what I did, its a set price then, no matter how many come. Apart from an extra sandwich and party bag that is.

WhereIsMyHat · 14/02/2014 08:45

If you want to and can afford it then go for it.

TeenAndTween · 14/02/2014 08:56

YABU!
Taking 30 4 year olds to a farm will be high stress, expensive and unnecessary.
You will need to run it like a school trip, which at that age will be at least 1 adult to every 5 children (or are you inviting all the parents and paying for them too). Think about taking them off to the loo etc. Think about the fact you don't know them so when someone wanders off you will have trouble recognising them.

You will not cause offence by not inviting every one of them. They won't notice at that age.

In the first 4 weeks of nursery, listen out for the names she mentions, or ask her key worker if there is anyone in particular she plays with, and invite them to something small.

If you must do a whole class party (hate them, never done one), save your money for yR or y1.

Original poster
Slightlyneuroricnat · 14/02/2014 09:33

I was inviting a parent for each child as they are included in the price and like you say, I couldn't take children for toilet runs etc.
Maybe a soft play is going to be better looking at it again.
I really don't like the idea of having to get a hall and entertainment in case the kids were bored!

OP posts:
Monetbyhimself · 14/02/2014 09:38

Madness. Many parents of 4 year olds would expect to drop them off and leave. You can't expect all of the parents to stay and you can't expect those who DO stay to take responsibility for other children in an outdoor space. Many parents work at weekends so for those families and single parents with other kids, asking a parent to stay is a logistical hassle. If you want a whole class party, have it in a safe, enclosed place and draft in some family members to help.

pixiepotter · 14/02/2014 09:49

How are you expecting to look after 30 kids? Are you expecting them all to stay? Won't they have to pat? and what about any siblings they have to look after. I would hire a hall or a soft play for that many kids and do the farm thing next year.

pixiepotter · 14/02/2014 09:49

'Are you expecting them all to stay'

the parents I meant!

Kezzybear · 14/02/2014 09:52

I think it is a lovely idea but do remember to factor in some siblings. Dh works some weekends so if u wanted me to stay I would have to bring all 3 children or at least the baby might be able to leave ds1 with a friend!

halcyondays · 14/02/2014 09:53

If my 4 year old was invited to a party at a farm I would expect to stay and supervise, I think most parents would. Mine were invited to a couple of parties that were at farms when they were quite young and all the parents stayed.

fortyplus · 14/02/2014 09:55

I think it's fine if you present it in the right way. Don't call it a 'birthday party' for a start! Something along the lines of what you've said already.... 'My daughter's birthday is coming up and she hasn't been in nursery long enough to have any special friends yet, so I thought it would be fun if a group of us went to the farm. If you and your child would like to join us, please rsvp to blah blah. If your child would like to come but you can't make it, just let me know and we'll make sure that they're supervised by another parent. Hopefully it'll be an opportunity for parents to get to know each other too!' Please don't send presents - we'll just have cake with candles at the end Smile