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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is quite cheeky?

100 replies

Sammie101 · 11/02/2014 15:31

So I probably shouldn't be so bothered/astounded at this but I am sad and don't have much else to do except fathom some of the things that other people do (and put on Facebook!)

An old friend of mine from school recently got engaged. There were lots of pictures, articles online and in the newspaper (it was a very public proposal) and after the initial "oh so and so is engaged, that's nice" it got a bit irritating.

Anyway! Just saw before on Facebook that said friend has posted a status and link on her Facebook saying something along the lines of:

We already live together, we don't want 17 blenders. We would kindly appreciate help towards the cost of our wedding. Obviously we have to start this earlier as things need to be paid for.

Obviously this was said more eloquently than I put it but you get the jist.

AIBU to think that essentially asking people fund your wedding is a bit cheeky? The donation page is set up so that anyone can donate, even though they might not even be invited to the wedding (although people most likely wouldn't donate unless they were sure they'd be invited)

My friend put her goal as 7k! I think that if you want to have the whole shebang you do what everyone else does and save up for it. She mentions on her donation page that having children means they'd be saving years but that's a reality for most couples. It just irritated me because I thought it was cheeky.

I'm probably being unreasonable and sh

OP posts:
Sammie101 · 11/02/2014 15:32

Posted too soon!

...and should mind my own but I just wanted an opinion from others on what they think of this

OP posts:
SomethingAboutNothing · 11/02/2014 15:33

Yup, that's cheeky.

Save up or have a small wedding, don't expect your Facebook friends to pay for your wedding, that's just crazy! Shock

MrsTerryPratchett · 11/02/2014 15:34

Oh dear. I can't normally get my knickers in a twist about wedding stuff - I think money for honeymoon is quite sensible. However, getting people to a pay for a wedding that may never happen and if it does, they may not be invited to is incredible. She has a brass neck.

AchingBad · 11/02/2014 15:34

I would buy her a blender.

MegaClutterSlut · 11/02/2014 15:35

YANBU I think that's really cheeky tbh

WorraLiberty · 11/02/2014 15:35

It sounds vulgar to me

As well as totally laughable

Thumbwitch · 11/02/2014 15:36

Yes, I think that is a bit much on the cheek front.

I have no issue generally with people requesting money or vouchers as wedding gifts; but what she's doing is taking it a step further, especially as there's no guarantee that you'd even be invited to the wedding!

Sammie101 · 11/02/2014 15:40

MrsTerry that was another thought, what if they split up? What happens to the money then? I'd like to think they would donate it to charity or return it but who knows.

She has been engaged (but never married) I think 4 times now? So when we heard she was engaged it was a little hard to take seriously. Plus knowing her past history with money, I wouldn't trust that any money I donated would necessarily be spent on her wedding!

Definitely getting her a blender

(Good one, I would be very surprised if I was invited as one of my very close friends is this friends mortal enemy--too much drama for my liking!)

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 11/02/2014 15:41

She has been engaged four times? Save your money. Don't even buy a blender until the day of.

pigletmania · 11/02/2014 15:45

Bloody hell that's scraping tge bottom of the barrel, goes way beyond rude! No I can't think anyone not invited will donate. Why not have a gift list like normal people!

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 11/02/2014 15:48

If you can't afford a 7k wedding you don't bloody have one!
I'd be tempted to write that on her fb, the cheeky mare!

rollonthesummer · 11/02/2014 15:52

Horribly rude!

Onesleeptillwembley · 11/02/2014 15:52

Sounds as classy as the very public proposal. Yuk.

ENormaSnob · 11/02/2014 15:59

She's a cheeky fucker.

Topaz25 · 11/02/2014 16:00

YANBU. If they want a big wedding they should pay for it. Shocking.

WaffilyVersatile · 11/02/2014 16:02

the punchline is that some people will be stupid enough to donate to this joke of a wedding.

pianodoodle · 11/02/2014 16:03

I would buy her a blender

I'd bring 17 blenders.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 11/02/2014 16:05

Fucking rude. Buy her some nice, monogrammed, towels.

BoffinMum · 11/02/2014 16:06

I would not go to the wedding, and not give a present either.

PotsofGold · 11/02/2014 16:13

I think this couple are crying out for a nice charity gift, eg a goat for an African family. Grin

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 11/02/2014 16:15

We gave a relative of dh's money for a honeymoon "to be taken later in the year" as a wedding present. They split after 3 months. I guess we paid for the divorce then. Sad

MrsKoala · 11/02/2014 16:26

So this donation is in lieu of an engagement gift? How many people does she know and what budget does she think people spend on these gifts? IME engagement gifts are tokens like a bottle of champers or 2 nice glasses. I can't believe she thinks people are going to raise 7k!

She will be organising a series of charity events with the charity beneficiary to be her wedding fund - Perhaps she could do an 80s type telethon or a meat raffle in the bookies Grin

Thisvehicleisreversing · 11/02/2014 16:38

MIL's colleague asked for donations towards the cost of her wedding and honeymoon. A lot of people donated and the wedding was stunning apparently.

They split up on their return from honeymoon.

Fucking cheeky fuckers.

moldingsunbeams · 11/02/2014 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 11/02/2014 16:45

Yes, that is fucking cheeky. I wouldn't donate a bean. Fund your own damn wedding.

I think 'fund our honeymoon' is tacky, too, or buy us shit for our honeymoon. Can't afford a holiday, don't have one!