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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that being "sick" is not an excuse to be lazy?

51 replies

DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld · 10/02/2014 19:03

And since I can't spend the day on the sofa when I'm ill, DH shouldn't be able to either? Because I'm sick of him watching tv and whinging about being ill when there's NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM!

OP posts:
WaffilyVersatile · 10/02/2014 19:04

what did he say when you told him that?

MsLT · 10/02/2014 19:06

Are you sure he hasn't got Manflu? It's shocking I hear.

picnicbasketcase · 10/02/2014 19:06

What does he claim is wrong with him?

AuditAngel · 10/02/2014 19:08

DH fell down the mountain while skiing. Firstly he got to have 5 days away while I was at home with 3 DC, but then he expects sympathy!

I have a shoulder muscle in spasm which has in turn trapped a nerve. I think he thought I was joking until he got home on Friday and I was off work and tanked up on prescription meds. I think the fact the HP is referring me for physio may have helped, along with the physio's estimate of 16 weeks to clear it.

Apparently though, because I went to work today I must be better?

Sirzy · 10/02/2014 19:09

Hmm, I am ill and have done the bear minimum possible today. I may look fine but I feel shit.

Rest is good when your ill

ShatnersBassoon · 10/02/2014 19:10

Why's he pretending to be ill?

Crowler · 10/02/2014 19:11

Oh OP I hear you. We've had such issues about this over the years. Man flu & such. I have a physical reaction to my husband telling me he's "becoming unwell" - I find it really hard to have sympathy unless he has some outward manifestation.

RayPurchase · 10/02/2014 19:12

I think being sick is the perfect excuse to he lazy tbh. Is he sick or not?

dreamingbohemian · 10/02/2014 19:12

You should both be able to rest when you're ill.

if he's only pretending to be ill that's a different problem

Original poster
DontGiveAwayTheHomeworld · 10/02/2014 19:17

He claims it's a stomach bug, but he hasn't had D&V, so it can't be that serious. I'm just ticked off because he always tells me to "man up" when I say I'm sick. Even though I still do housework and look after DS.

Perhaps I should tell him to woman up?

OP posts:
MollyDoublyBarrely · 10/02/2014 19:17

Why would your OH pretend to be ill? And how did he respond when you asked him why he was faking it?

Crowler · 10/02/2014 19:27

My husband doesn't pretend to be ill, but his bar is just ridiculously low. It can really undermine my respect for him. Eventually it rebounds, but it surely casts a shadow during its tenure.

maddening · 10/02/2014 19:29

manning up must be code for taking to the sofa and watching tv

CrohnicallyFarting · 10/02/2014 19:53

Exactly crowler. I'm not ill unless I'm puking, have a fever, or need to take prescription meds.

He's ill if he has a runny nose.

AdmiralData · 10/02/2014 20:04

Last week I had some sort of virus, I slept for 48 hours (I kid you not). DH did everything, took care of DS and cleaned, did washing etc but ONLY because ...

DH on my last birthday had a 'bit of a cold' - I had to cater for his DM, DF, DB, GM and GF whilst waiting on him hand and foot. I was also very heavily pregnant.

I would have said that being sick is not an excuse to be lazy until my birthday was ruined >:{

Crowler · 10/02/2014 20:04

Chronically. We may be married to the same man.

He strives valiantly to keep viruses at bay with whiskey - does this match your husband's description?

justanuthermanicmumsday · 10/02/2014 20:09

Lol@chronically I couldn't have said it better, here I was thinking it's just me. Because I don't look ill apparently I'm not. Even if I beg him I can't look after babies and cook clean I've got the flu. He says you look ok. I always look ok. Las time I looked ok but I was literally begging him to drive me to a&e next thing I know I'm in hospital

I have zero sympathy when he's ill, he'd have to be hospitalised before I cared I've become that bitter.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 10/02/2014 20:21

Crowler I think you are actually ME! I have the exact same feelings towards my DH being ill. I don't feel sympathy, I just feel pissed off, I can pretty much write off the rest of the day if he mentions ANY ailment no matter how small. Takes to his bed for the slightest of issue. Drives me crazy and yes, I do lose respect for him over it. I see it as a weakness... not exactly 'manly' Blush

BabyDubsEverywhere · 10/02/2014 20:24

As for a reason to be ill - he sees it as a break!
The only difference with my DH is that I think he likes me to be ill too - When I am ill he is ALWAYS ill too, if I am taking a break he will take double!

He is really pissing me off with this perpetual cold he has going on at the moment, can you tell!? Grin

CrohnicallyFarting · 10/02/2014 20:27

Phew crowler my DH can't stand whiskey and self medicates with beer.

Mind you, he really was ill a few weeks ago, I knew he was serious when he opened a beer but then couldn't stomach it.

MrsDeVere · 10/02/2014 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crowler · 10/02/2014 20:33

"self medicates with beer"

I'm so glad it's not just me.

Crowler · 10/02/2014 20:34

babydubs it's not manly. It's just not being an adult. I hate it.

grumpyoldbat · 10/02/2014 20:45

I get where you're coming from, it's the double standards isn't it? When we're ill we're told to get on with it when they're ill they lounge about all day. DH gets irate if I so much as slow down.

Littleen · 10/02/2014 21:26

It's just men though isn't it :P Luckily it doesn't happen very often (in my house anyway!) I am however allowed to be ill and not do everything, so I guess that's the difference :)