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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to be angry at 16 year old dd's school for not noticing her and 3 friends were very tipsy at school?

149 replies

trousersinit · 07/02/2014 17:44

My best friend is a teacher at dd's school and rang me today to tell me how she'd discovered that in dd's waterbottle it was actually vodka, she got suspicious after she saw a group of them giggling and sniffing it and smelt it herself. It later emerged that dd and her 3 other female friends for the last month have taken turns to smuggle in vodka in water bottles every Friday where they get tipsy. Dd has always been a model student and I had no idea she was into alcohol, apparently a newsagents sells alcoholbto minors without an ID so she had been using her dinner money to buy from there. I'm shocked that the school didn't pick up on 4 tipsy teen girls in lessons? Of course I'm furious with dd and we have spoken to her and it is being dealt with, but I'm angry at the school for not noticing sooner, is it unreasonable to expect teachers to notice that 4 teens are obviously drunk?

OP posts:
Original poster
trousersinit · 07/02/2014 17:56

When I mean drunk I mean actually drunk, dd's feign had to leave the classroom twice in 10 minutes to throw up as I have been told and had a long 'conversation' with her teacher about how it was the 'dinosaur on her shoulder' that was making her sock.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 07/02/2014 17:56

Actually I'm getting annoyed now.

You do realise this is your fault right?

Poor parenting to give your kid so much money so that they can afford vodka

Any chance you're going to describe the consequences for the kid or how you're going to pull your socks up as a parent?

Or are you going to continue to attempt to divert attention on to the school? Hmm

WorraLiberty · 07/02/2014 17:58

Oh I wish I had a sock making dinosaur

They sound fantastic

WorraLiberty · 07/02/2014 17:58

Anyway, now the school has noticed, what are they doing about it?

Have they excluded her and her friends?

gordyslovesheep · 07/02/2014 18:00

a sock making dinosaur is just what I need to combat the sock robbing pixies

Original poster
trousersinit · 07/02/2014 18:00

Of course I'm aware my dd is to blame! She has been punished very seriously and is.now.being continually monitered, I'm just worried about how teens can get awaybwith doing something thisbba dwhilst surrounded by teachers. And I resent the accusation of me being a bad parent, I've always been there for dd and taught her right and wrong, she acted way out of character!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/02/2014 18:00

You need a pair of pixie robbing socks really

IsaacHuntyChops · 07/02/2014 18:01

I would think it would call for an exclusion.

How are you punishing her?

WorraLiberty · 07/02/2014 18:01

So when you went for the meeting at the school, did you ask the Head why it had taken the staff so long to notice?

WhoWasThatMaskedWoman · 07/02/2014 18:01

To be fair Laurie it's not unreasonable for teens to have enough pocket money to be able to pool a tenner between four of them for a bottle of cheap vodka. I wouldn't consider myself a poor parent if I gave my DD enough allowance for her to be able to afford (say) a Starbucks hot chocolate once a week.

But I agree with the rest of it.

Original poster
trousersinit · 07/02/2014 18:02

They've placed them on a severe warning and in school exclusion for a week, if they coming any other minor.infraction within the next month theybwill get permanently excluded.

OP posts:
clam · 07/02/2014 18:02

That's right, blame the school.

IsaacHuntyChops · 07/02/2014 18:02

I see you have them too Gordy. Bastards they are!

lljkk · 07/02/2014 18:03

@Cees, Snurk = snorty chortle = bemusement

need to have a long chat with her about why she thought that was acceptable.

I'd be angling for a written apology to the teachers or HT, too. It was enormously disrespectful.

(hilarious to tell your mates about, mind)

MothratheMighty · 07/02/2014 18:03

You have a 16 year old who doesn't know what is appropriate in school and thinks it's funny to drink underage. She's been taking the piss for a month, with her mates.
Yet it's the school's fault?
They should be suspended for a week whilst the school works out some specific support, they should not be allowed out at lunchtimes for the rest of their time there and they should have to collect water bottles from their form tutor on a daily basis. They should be subject to random stop and search by any member of staff.
You should also agree with the school that you would check her bag in the morning to ensure it's alcohol-free.

cory · 07/02/2014 18:03

trousersinit Fri 07-Feb-14 17:56:53
"When I mean drunk I mean actually drunk, dd's feign had to leave the classroom twice in 10 minutes to throw up as I have been told and had a long 'conversation' with her teacher about how it was the 'dinosaur on her shoulder' that was making her sock."

and yet her own mother didn't notice when she came home hungover...

Original poster
trousersinit · 07/02/2014 18:03

Commit *

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 07/02/2014 18:04

No I need the T-Rex to make the socks to replace the ones the Pixies hide - you need to drink more!

annieorangutan · 07/02/2014 18:04

Me and my friends used to do this when we were 14. We used to drink straight vodka and gin and go to assembly and all the lessons. We always used to do it on a Friday for food tech and we used to act ridiculous. This was such a regular occurence at our school, and I turned out normal in the end!

gordyslovesheep · 07/02/2014 18:04

Yes the Pixies are devious little twats who only every take one sock

lljkk · 07/02/2014 18:05

see I couldn't go down the huge punishment route, I wouldn't find it productive. But the heavy "you should be ashamed!" tone I would be happy to lay on thick. If she has been a model type student that will have better impacts.

But a written note to make amends would be close to essential (the principle that it is possible to make amends is very unfashionable, I know, but I still like it)

Original poster
trousersinit · 07/02/2014 18:05

They got drunk right in the morning at around 10 am, when she doesn't get home till 6 it is highly likely that they won't be totally sober by then!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 07/02/2014 18:06

Yes I agree. I do need to drink more! Wine Wine Wine

Original poster
trousersinit · 07/02/2014 18:06

Highly unlikely *

OP posts:
cory · 07/02/2014 18:08

if she is drunk enough to be throwing up at 10 am I would expect the hangover to have kicked in by 6 pm- unless she is getting worryingly used to alcohol