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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my son to wear a swim nappy

27 replies

AryaStarkForKing · 07/02/2014 11:59

My DS is 8 and has toilet problems. He poos himself when we are out due to anxiaty ext and we are seening the Doctor about it. Tommorow we are going swimming and I am worried he will soil the pool. Aibu to say that if he is to go swiming he should wear a swim nappy as the pool would have to close if he had an accident.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 07/02/2014 12:03

Personally I think it will humiliate him making him wear a swim nappy as it will be visible uner his shorts. However, you can't risk the pool being contaminated either so maybe the best solution is to do something else instead......unless he really doesn't care about wearing a swimming nappy.

Hope you get it sorted, I know how frustrating it can be.

BinkieWoo · 07/02/2014 12:05

Firstly I'd definitely not call it a nappy unless you want to totally destroy his self-esteem. Can you get some of the swimming pants which are not nappy material, they just pull up like normal swim pants and have an extra layer to keep anything in. If his swim trunks aren't skintight he could wear them underneath with no issues. You can find them in a good supermarket near the disposable swim nappies and they are re-usable, just pop them in the washing machine after use.

Lottiedoubtie · 07/02/2014 12:05

Honestly, I would give swimming a miss. At least until you have the sent the doctor.

mummymeister · 07/02/2014 12:07

why are you taking him swimming? his anxiety will go through the roof if he poos in the pool. it will have to be shut for hours to get cleaned even if its a solid/floater type one let alone anything else. please just do not take him. make an excuse why but don't put him or other pool users through this.

BinkieWoo · 07/02/2014 12:08

Something like this but obvs a bigger size...

www.mothercare.com/Bambino-Mio-Swim-Nappy/LD6894,default,pd.html?dwvar_LD6894_color=Blue%20Shark

Impatientismymiddlename · 07/02/2014 12:08

You need to get a pair of these swim shorts

www.incywincy.net

They are designed to hold any faeces so the pool doesn't get messy and the child doesn't get embarrassed, but they look like normal swimwear.

Impatientismymiddlename · 07/02/2014 12:09

Ignore those saying that you cannot take him swimming. People with special needs or other continence problems go swimming without causing the pool to need to be evacuated. You just need the correct swim protection wear.

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/02/2014 12:10

I'd give swimming a miss. Why put him in a situation that will upset him whatever you do.

Id wait til you see the dr tbh. I hope they an help your Ds Thanks,

givemeaclue · 07/02/2014 12:10

Don't go swimming

BinkieWoo · 07/02/2014 12:10

Or like the others said, just don't take him. Will it be worth the stress it will cause?

IglooisnowinSheffield · 07/02/2014 12:11

I don't think you will be able to get something suitable by tomorrow, a baby/toddler swim nappy would be too small?

BinkieWoo · 07/02/2014 12:12

And if you do take him then get him a decent, discreet swim nappy, don't tell him why you want him to wear it, just present it as part of his swimming kit and don't call it a nappy...they are pants!

WilsonFrickett · 07/02/2014 12:13

I would normally agree with impatient but if his continence problems are linked to anxiety and swimming will cause his anxiety to go up, it's pretty much setting up a vicious cycle isn't it? So I'm not sure taking him swimming is the best thing to do.

landrover · 07/02/2014 12:44

Don't go swimming!

Impatientismymiddlename · 07/02/2014 13:23

Why Landrover?
Do you mean don't go swimming because of the anxiety or the risk of a poo accident in the pool?
If it's the poo then would you think it is okay to go swimming once the OP has managed to get some appropriate faecal incontinence swimwear for her son?

mummymeister · 07/02/2014 13:32

impatient - of course the OP should go swimming once she has the proper things in place. many people with disabilities have continence issues. the OP is asking about going tomorrow. she wont have time to get the right things in place will she. she will buy a swim nappy, it will be too small to force an 8 yr olds back side into it. he will feel embarrassed. he may actually not get in then she will risk it. he will be on edge and an accident will happen. no one is suggesting banning him for ever, just being sensitive about the situation tomorrow and sorting it out before they plan the next trip.

christmasproblems · 07/02/2014 13:33

Can he wear swimming trunks over a swim 'nappy', no one will be able to see it underneath the baggy shorts

WooWooOwl · 07/02/2014 13:37

YABU to make your son go swimming when it has the potential to make him feel embarrassed and degraded.

How does he actually feel about it?

If you can do a swim shorts/nappy combination that works well enough to be invisible, your ds might not mind, but it has to be up to him. How does he cope with it the rest of the time?

pigletmania · 07/02/2014 13:49

Swimming is only tomorrow, so I would give it a miss, you won't have time to source appropriate swimwear, his anxiety might be heightened. Leave it if I were you.

Impatientismymiddlename · 07/02/2014 14:24

Mummymeister - that is what I would expect (mum to get appropriate stuff before going swimming) which is why I posted a link on my first post to a website selling age appropriate protective swimwear.
Landrover only said 'don't go swimming' which is why I asked whether she thought it would be okay to go once the appropriate protection has been obtained, I just wanted clarification.
My local disability aids shop sells lots of useful things (including specialist continence items) so it is possible that the OP could get suitable protection in time.
Things are more readily available than lots of people often realise.

NatashaBee · 07/02/2014 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AwfulMaureen · 07/02/2014 16:23

Impatient is correct. People with SN and who have continence issues go swimming all the time! OP get the right stuff for him...age appropriate. Of COURSE he should go swimming.

WilsonFrickett · 07/02/2014 18:10

Of course he should go swimming if he wants to. It sounds to me (albeit from a very brief op) that his anxiety about swimming is high and if the nappy word has already been mentioned the stage is set for a conflict. I think they absolutely need to work towards going swimming - right kit, better communication, anxieties reduced etc - but I'm not sure that going swimming tomorrowwill be a positive experience.

lljkk · 07/02/2014 18:24

2 prs of swim shorts would do the job, wear tight lycra ones underneath looser style ones. No one will know and nothing will leak out before he can exit pool discreetly.

curlew · 07/02/2014 18:27

Does he want to go swimming?