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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think MNers can be better than this

654 replies

IceBeing · 05/02/2014 17:52

OPs may be ignorant, they maybe obtuse, they may be in the wrong and they may be trolls...

but how can dozens upon dozens of swearing riddled instructions to carry out intimate acts be considered a reasonable response?

For some people MN is the first forum they frequent. It is perfectly possible to post something that is innocently ignorant yet massively outrageous to MNers. Then suddenly you are being called all the names under the sun and told to fuck yourself preferably until dead? really?

Believe me it can be a massive shock that people say things on the internet they would never say in real life. It is possible to feel very very frightened and threatened by such an onslaught.

AIBU to think if the last 5 posters have covered the 'fuck off to the far side of fuck' angle then maybe you don't need to stick the boot in too?

The best case scenario is that the person on the other end is indeed a troll....in which case why are you giving them what they want?

OP posts:
Original poster
IceBeing · 07/02/2014 15:37

my lynching?

something happened...which pissed me off then and still would tbh...but it turns out you can't start a thread saying how unreasonable it is for someone to tell you to stop explaining the benefits of BF to a pregnant woman because its all the same init...

It pissed me off coz I think pregnant women should be allowed to hear the facts presented in a neutral way....you know in order to make an informed decision and all....

but no...you can't say that on MN...because people have isshoos about BF/FF it turns out....

It genuinely would not have occurred to me that anyone out there would be upset about having chosen to FF...I mean you make your choice and its the best thing for you and your family and then whatever...but it turns out people really really do care what other people even might have thought about thinking about their choices....

bonkers IMO.

and actually while I am mumbling randomly to myself in the corner I will say the following:

People have REALLY different life experiences.

I know one person with a disability and I only met her last year. So there are any number of things about the realities of living with disability that I know absolutely NOTHING about.

I know no people at all who are seriously struggling financially. There must be a hell of a lot that I don't realise about the realities of living on benefits etc.

I know noone who would pierce their babies ears, or smoke, or do drugs, I was seriously shocked to discover one among my acquaintance who had paid cash in hand for a car repair Shock ...I am seriously insulated from the real world.

I also know maybe one person at the moment who doesn't have at least A-level maths if not more, literally one person who would have a problem with calculus...

So I could very very easily ask naive and potentially offensive questions here on MN....

and MN is bloody amazing at putting the world in context for me...I see peoples real life issues and I understand why things aren't the way I would expect them to be...and I am a better person because of it. More considerate, more open minded, more accepting of difference.

okay I am boring myself now...

OP posts:
2tiredtocare · 07/02/2014 15:37

Any kind of debate can be described as an argument, as in argument for and against. I didnt mean row and I meant walking off to pair socks makes you rhe 'winner' by default

Original poster
IceBeing · 07/02/2014 15:38

definitely possible to accidentally troll...

like asking if creationists really believe the stuff they espouse...I mean from my point of view that is a valid question...but it isn't really...

OP posts:
Hullygully · 07/02/2014 15:40

I haven't even got O level maths

And you LOVE me

2tiredtocare · 07/02/2014 15:41

I will say I have seen that too Pagwatch regulars opinions being dismissed as 'royalty' weighing in so I do agree that it works both ways, if it helps your username sticks in my mind for your kind and helpful posts and lots of laughs in there too

2tiredtocare · 07/02/2014 15:41

I dont have a maths gcse either Blush

Mintyy · 07/02/2014 15:42

I have no interest in being the winner. I got sidetracked by the kettle, made myself a cup of tea - and one for you too did you notice - and then of course my laptop is in the kitchen so I sneaked back on for another look at Threads I'm On.

I'm just procrastinating over a bit of work I don't want to do actually Grin. Even pairing socks is more appealing.

Hullygully · 07/02/2014 15:43

But the thing I do agree with you about, and where I do get where you are coming from, is that I absolutely cannot understand why people take offence at views and questions.

If you know what you think and are happy about it, why care what anyone else says?

And if you are wondering, isn't it good to hear lots of views?

The other thing I don't like is the pretence that facts aren't facts and are even nasty.

BF IS BETTER. THE END.

That is a fact.

Whether you can or can't is another issue

Whether you want to or not is another issue.

Agggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh

Hullygully · 07/02/2014 15:44

I pair socks before hanging them to dry.

No one in my house is allowed to wear socks once May is past. I hate socks.

Mintyy · 07/02/2014 15:44

I was accused of trolling once, under a namechange. But then it was an unusual story (true but embarrassing) so I wasn't worried by it. If you are not a troll it's relatively easy to prove.

You can't be surprised if people are twitchy about trolls. The place is absolutely riddled with them.

LtEveDallas · 07/02/2014 15:44

Ice, genuine question, if you've been here for a number of years, then surely you've seen the HUGE number of threads almost identical to this one? I don't think I'd be exaggerating to say that we have one almost monthly.

Nothing changes. MNHQ are happy with the level of moderation and their actions with regard to trolling, troll hunting, personal attacks and the like.

People have their account suspended for persistent breaches, following warnings etc. People that don't 'learn' to control themselves are permanently banned.

Why did you feel the need for yet another thread on the same subject? What makes you think that your thread will solve/change anything, when all the others didn't?

And if you have missed all the other threads, why now do you think this is an issue, if you didn't think it was an issue before?

NewtRipley · 07/02/2014 15:45

i have also seen that Pag. Been accused as well. It's tedious.

I also agree with the OPs last post though.

Some posters on AIBU have no tolerance for naive questions and are straight in with aggression.

I am not talking about the nappy thread here. I have no knowledge of that one

Hullygully · 07/02/2014 15:46

Perhaps she got a bee in her bonnet, Lt Eve?

Speaking as one quite prone to em meself...

NewtRipley · 07/02/2014 15:47

LtEve

I agree with that as well. I like to have my say though. No-one else listens to me at the moment

NewtRipley · 07/02/2014 15:47

X post hully

YouTheCat · 07/02/2014 15:56

Is Maths A level an entry requirement for this thread? I scraped an O level, will that do? Grin

2tiredtocare · 07/02/2014 15:56

I had a thread in the wrong place about a sensitive subject and a lot of people thought I was a troll and totally hunilated me, they could've checked my posting history and pointed me in the right direction surely

Mintyy · 07/02/2014 15:58

With this thread in mind I have just stopped myself from saying something exceedingly sarcastic to a preposterously stupid stating of the bleeding obvious post on another thread I'm on Smile.

Oh, and wot LtEve said. I might procrastinate further by linking to another 30 threads with roughly the same op as this one.

Or I might force myself to write my boss an email.

2tiredtocare · 07/02/2014 16:00

How long has this forum been running?

NewtRipley · 07/02/2014 16:02

2tired

About 10 years, but it's a fact that it's always got worse lately, every year or so Grin

Pagwatch · 07/02/2014 16:03

Yes, I see what you mean Ice but to be really honest I think it's possible to ask questions in a way that is naive or even ignorant without it being 'accidental trolling'.
Trolling - to me anyway- is when someone is clearly delighting in a ruck or is drawing people into subjects that are sensitive or sexual or personal.

Reading a thread about my belief system may annoy me and you may have posted to sneer at creationist but that would be your honest view which hopefully you won't have changed names or disguised your usual mn persona to present.

Trolling is designed to create upset.
I've read really thick posts which were clearly just really thick posters. Not trolling. Just stupid.

Pagwatch · 07/02/2014 16:06

Yes Newt, I agree with that.

I think a swathe of people cruise AIBU to post aggressively.
But I don't think a vent diagram of them and troll hunters would incorporate the same people.

Pagwatch · 07/02/2014 16:07

Oh bollocks

A venn diagram. Autocorrect is stupid.

Mintyy · 07/02/2014 16:08

eee, we never did vent diagrams in my O level maths Paggy Wink

2tiredtocare · 07/02/2014 16:09

You are bound to get a lot of duplicate issues in that length of time, I hate it when people read the funny threads just to [Hmm] or get 'offended' but equally dont think long timers should click and comment on a thread on a topic they are sick of