to think MNers can be better than this

[IceBeing]

OPs may be ignorant, they maybe obtuse, they may be in the wrong and they may be trolls...

but how can dozens upon dozens of swearing riddled instructions to carry out intimate acts be considered a reasonable response?

For some people MN is the first forum they frequent. It is perfectly possible to post something that is innocently ignorant yet massively outrageous to MNers. Then suddenly you are being called all the names under the sun and told to fuck yourself preferably until dead? really?

Believe me it can be a massive shock that people say things on the internet they would never say in real life. It is possible to feel very very frightened and threatened by such an onslaught.

AIBU to think if the last 5 posters have covered the 'fuck off to the far side of fuck' angle then maybe you don't need to stick the boot in too?

The best case scenario is that the person on the other end is indeed a troll....in which case why are you giving them what they want?

Well, if it encourages you, the sex text one was a couple of years ago, and loads of people actually did give advice on how to send a sexy text.

So, are MNHQ troll supporters, then? They are the ones who made the rules, they are the ones asking that we refrain from troll hunting. Maybe they secretly love the trolls & want us to leave the little dears alone - that's why we can't tell them to fuck off?

You really have to be quite stunningly thick to decide that those of us who can see the point and value of this rule are troll-lovers.

Well, erm, they did link to the Sheffieldguy on fb... MNHQ obviously did support him!

Commercially, it may have been a profitable decision in terms of revenue, but I'd have to be Tech at MNHQ to see that. If it got MN lots of clicks, it could make the site seem more attractive to advertisers.

A bunfight thread on mn about how mn should be used.

The beauty of mn is mn, just stick to the guidelines

SpinDoctor, are you reading the same posts as me- Mulligatawny has said the following,

'As far as I can tell the issue by the op is a simple one of if we all just played by the rules any innocent party would be protected (just on the off chance that they are innocent), and that it won't discourage new comers who might find a lot of this 'old hat' troll spotting stuff and general MN/internet etiquette over their heads and off putting, but most of all - and sadly this is point really being missed- if you don't respond to a suspected troll it will bother them a lot more than getting the riled reaction given.'

She/he appears to be fairly new on MN and has said quite clearly that 'troll hunting' is off putting. It really is as simple as that- so yes, I have made a very 'good' point, I just hope it is clear enough for you this time!

Mulligatawny, the unwritten rules of deliverance do NOT exist, I would ignore anyone who says they do frankly as they will have their own bias and agenda. This is a public forum and we live in a political democracy- post what you want only taking notice of HQ guidelines. Oh and I say that having been on the site since 2006.

Well I'm sure those in need of advice benefited. Those wishing to show off their sexting prowess were happy. Those ranting got to practice all their best lines. And the trolls were well fed that day.

I'm not actually looking for that kind of advice. Point being - I don't want to be treated as though I'm a food hunting troll, if during my generalised questions about potentially finished relationship, I mention the sex life part (lack of) because it is relevant, and if I pose any question along lines of 'is this normal' (frequency/after X yrs) get shot down for digging for details.

Will soon find out. Night!

Thanks Goldenbear

This could possibly already have been said as I haven't read every comment

I myself have been at the receiving end of posters who do t like my thread to the point I name changed and I still ended up getting it on here I don't post nasty comments on posts if I think it's bang out of order I report simple

But today with that nappy thread that got my back up

I have a right to my opinion like EVERY OTHER MEMBER on this site

That post was damn right rude, insensitive ect

And by you raising this thread are you not kind of trashing us who made a comment or opinion on that thread?

Is that not a bit hypocritical? Just saying :)

"That post was damn right rude, insensitive etc"

Yes. Deliberately so to get a reaction, and plenty of people reacted. There's not much point being a troll and starting a thread called "AIBU to think fluffy kittens are nice", is there? The raison d'être of a troll is to lob in a deliberately inflammatory grenade, sit back and get off on the flying sparks and frothing. And every time, MN obliges by piling in and semaphoring (because they can't say it out loud) "troll! Troll!" and the thread gains momentum until the troll is probably writhing under their bridge in hairy orgasmic pleasure.

DNFTT. Disengage and report. Why is that so hard?

Proud Trolls aren't known for saying 'nice fluffy things' are they? That's the whole point of them. The nastier it is. The bigger the reaction. Troll = effectively had his/her virtual 3 course dinner with sprinkles on.

And Wtf is with the invested bollocks? That's just another shitty way of using that 'Are you projecting?' Sentence. The fact that three people on here have already said they've been accused of trolling and yet people still Go on about how they were right to do x y and z. Just goes to prove Ice's point!! Ice isn't just on about the Trolls and Troll hunting. She is on about the behaviour some exhibit.

MNHQ suggest people don't give more of themselves than they are comfortable with (or words along those lines), which means other posters shouldn't need to come along and "protect" them by outing trolls as some posters are claiming is needed. Goading a troll pushes the thread into active conversations so it's more likely to be seen by posters it would upset thus not protecting them. It's also feeding the troll (if it is a troll) so they get the satisfaction of seeing a big reaction to their post. Mostly, I think the troll-hunting that is done isn't actually to protect vulnerable people but as a PP to show off to friends.

As Ice said before, the nappy thread needed one reponse, such as "You probably didn't consider that many disabilities and illnesses can cause incontinence into adulthood. hth."

No one else needs to post. It drops out of active threads. If it was a genuine poster then they got an answer, if it was a troll then they wouldn't have had the satisfaction of lots of outraged responses.

And just because I am putting all this doesn't mean I think it was a reasonable question to ask or that people weren't right to be upset by it. I just don't think anyone benefitted (except maybe the troll, if it was one) by the way it was handled.

TheFuture I think you're thinking about this far too much? Are you projecting too? . I agree with you by the way. .

I am a massive overthinker MissPixie

Just to throw this in the pool, I was on a thread at Xmas. A bloke was posting that his relationship was wonky. After a bit it went weird. Troll hunting came in. Some reported. Mnhq confirmed bloke as naughty poster. Thread wasn't deleted immediately, we started laughing at the thread. Later once all disappeared I kept returning curious as to when deleting taking place. He placed a final note on it. The op was true, so he said. He just couldn't help winding some up as it took over a multiple pages. He had taken some posts to heart though and would act on them.

The strangest thread I ever saw. Still wonder if it sorted out now....

You really need to take a chill pill op. You're getting far too get up on something so inconsequential. Just move on eh?

It's not really inconsequential though is it Minnie when several posters on this thread say they have unfairly being attacked for being a troll.

Mumsnet does have the worst troll hunting I ever did see. I once changed my name to get some advice on sexual abuse that had happened in DH's wider family and I got some startling responses, it was years ago, but I will never forget it - no good advice, just wicked responses to a very very sad and real situation.

I do agree with the op that there is a pack mentality, there are a group of mumsnetters who want to be the popular girls at school and more often than not, it turns into a witch hunt.

I'm not backwards in coming forwards, I love a great debate, a vehement debate even a heated debate, but there are some threads that go beyond the pale. I suspect this might turn into one of them

Troll hunting on thread feeds the trolls
Troll hunting on thread makes many vulnerable posters nervous about posting
Troll hunting on thread creates a toxic environment on the forum
Troll hunting on thread pushes threads to the top of active conversations
Troll hunting on thread is against the MN T&Cs we all signed up to when joining

Late to the thread, but I will point out one thing. We have troll threads on here all the time. We have people telling the OP to FO on a regular basis as well. No huge complaints.

Then, we have one where (for the first time in my memory), almost all the respondents are coming down on the side of children with disabilities, even if it is a bit exuberant... and lo and behold, it's deemed OTT and a huge thread is started about it.

Just unreal. Perhaps if the OP wasn't a troll, they could have hoisted themselves off their arse and come back on the thread.

But hey, thanks OP for pointing out that people were wrong. God forbid SNs are defended a bit energetically. We wouldn't want that, would we?

MN rules continue to apply whether the OP is a troll or not
MN rules continue to apply even when a lot of posters are offended
MN rules continue to apply no matter how long a poster has been on the site
MN rules continue to apply because MNHQ get to make them not a load of vigilante wannabes

Everyone's point of view is different and valid.

MN is becoming like GTA or something, just an online game of Trolls and Hunters.

Surely the majority of threads on here can be answered YABU or YANBU

So what some people are saying (or seem to be ) is that once one person has commented then the thread should be shutdown

As I've said before I am crap at spotting trolls, didn't know that this one was suspected of being a troll, and didn't see many people warning it was a troll (some did I'm sure)

So just to recap

"A TROLL COULD LEAP OUT SCREAMING BOO, DRAG ME UNDER ITS BRIDGE, AND I STILL WOULDNT HAVE A CLUE IT WAS A TROLL"

I'm just confused!!!!! But that's not difficult!!!!

If someone comes on and says send nig nogs home/ nappies on older people are odd/ all women are second class etc etc, then it is a good thing if they are told to do one. It is probably more effective if they are told to do one in a polite and civilised manner as it underlines the offensive nature of their view even more, but it is understandable if people get angry and abuse them.

And it does show support for those who might be victims of those views, which is a good thing.

On the other hand if Poster X says "Y" and it is a non-mainstream view, or sets them apart in some way, then it isn't good for 250 ODFODS to bombard them. And it does shut down discussion (it is this aspect that stops me posting much any more, it's just so dull).

In this case, the OP was not referring to a specific thread or incident but offering as a general principle the idea that 250 fuck offs to anyone is not a good idea. Which is not, IMO, an unreasonable view.

I wish the whole troll thing would go away. I know it won't.

I wish we could have reasoned discussions about all sorts of things.

I'm confused. I didn't see the OP of that thoroughly unpleasant thread come back. So how were they kicked when they were 'down' as someone said upthread?

If the OP had returned to the thread, apologised and sad 'I genuinely didn't think. I now understand' and people had continued to pile in, I might agree with the sentiment behind this thread. Or even if the OP had been fighting her corner, but in obvious distress. But he/she posted something that no-one with an ounce of common sense or empathy would have dreamed of uttering, and then never came back. My personal view is that she expected a bit of a group giggle about someone weeing in their pants and kept her head down when it went wrong.

So that thread was basically a single, thoroughly unpleasant and offensive comment and a lot of people telling the OP how throughly unpleasant and offensive she was.