to want SAHMs to divulge how much money they have to spend?

[YesAnastasia]

How much money do non earning SAHM get to actually spend? On clothes, hair/beauty or whatever they want.

I want to know if I'm being unreasonable to want more or if I am spoilt and should suck it up because things are tight.

I have £134.80 a month to myself (yes that's probably a familiar to a lot of you) except when you're a parent, not much is ever just for you anymore is it?

That's ok isn't it? Or is it? It doesn't feel like it, especially when there are birthdays etc. Anyway, what do you get?

I do have some income, just over £120 a week so I make sure I don't spend more than that really.

this is interesting.
For me, the main thing is openness about money.
Knowing the financial position you are in as a family.
Knowing what is reasonable for YOU and your unit.

DH and I are comfortable and we have joint finances.
However, the annual statement for the credit card came in last month and he was taken aback by the "annual spend" on my credit card.
5 minutes of discussion and all was resolved.
He forgot that all the petrol, food, childrens clothes, dentist visits, insurance, car repairs etc come from that annual amount.

What was left we were both completely fine about as personal expenditure.
Neither of us would have been comfortable if the total amount had been my personal expenditure alone.

talk ! it is the best way of working out if what s going on in your home is what you are happy with.

Suppose it depends though. Some folk are silly with money and can't control their spending. Had a friend who had racked up 20 grand debt on cards that her husband knew nothing about. So whatever works for folk as long as both agree and are happy. Sometimes one person has to hold the reigns.

Never have to justify what I spend as a SAHM, or does husband as we trust that we won't do anything too rash. Don't always agree with what he spends as I think he is more extravagant over all than me but his choice and he earns well and there is always plenty left .

Oh don't say that you like nice things LaQueen there will be outrage from some that you're reinforcing a stereotype. Don't you know that if you're a SAHM, you mustn't want things or have luxuries...

scottishmummy Didn't you know that people spend their benefits on whatever they like? Some people on benefits sometimes go on holiday & things...how dare they?

laqueen isnt a sahm

Ah that's ok then

All our money (wages, child benefit) just goes into the joint account & it we each spend whatever we need from that. I rarely buy things for myself & if I do it's clothes/books from charity shops/supermarkets/Primark. Most of my spends are on playdates with DCs where I buy myself a coffee. Most of DH's spends are on drinks after work (once a fortnight or so). Both get birthday money which we use for new shoes, coats etc.

About 12 a week. A fiver for fat club, 3 for fitness class and the rest on coffee at toddler group.

Nothing. I wanted to stay at home with DCs and had to sacrifice my salary. DH earns enough to cover the basics but treats are few n far between. i.e. Hair au naturel colour these days because we can't afford salon trips for root touch ups. In fact, I generally look like shit :-(

When I say we discuss it, it's not a matter of permission.

I think it would be irresponsible to make a large purchase (above what is planned for as spending money) without some consideration for our family budget.

Poorincash - can I just recommend going to a college salon? £5 for a decent haircut. I would never pay salon prices again.

My Grandpa taught electronics at a FE collage and my Nan always got her hair done there.

One year she ended up making friends with one of the students and for years after Grandpa retired this young woman would come and do Nan's hair. She did mine once or twice when we were visiting.

OP you are a grown woman with a family and home and you don't know how much your own mortgage is? Am I reading that right?

Yes, elismom you are. I know what it was when we took it out but I have no idea now, it could be the same..? I used to know stuff. My life is ridiculously simple now.

Yes, me too Laqueen it has been suggested & insinuated through this thread. It's interesting. And sad.

Isn't that trying to have it both ways though? Either be 1950s and let the man do everything and know everything and accept the allowance (and the simplicity of it) or step up into a partnership.

My DH wouldnt have a clue about money and out goings. I deal with it all. I doubt he even knows how much is outstanding on our mortgage, term, payments or who it's with.

I have a nice folder with everything in, should I die, to make his life simple

In the 1950s when my gran was a SAHM with 3 small children, it was a matter of pride for the husband to bring an intact weekly pay packet home to his wife. From that, she would give him a small amount of pocket money (literally money to have in his pocket for his personal spends) and use the rest for the household expenses. She, and her peers, managed all the finances.

If the man brought home a broken pay packet it was probably because he was spending it in the pub on the way home, on in the bookies, and his children would go hungry as a result.

Maybe it was different in middle class households though.

£20ish a month to spend on myself. That's probably coffee and a magazine twice. Everything else goes on bills, food, children.

I never, ever get clothes, my friend cuts my hair for free and I babysit her dd a few times in return.

We have very little disposable income so I'm just grateful that we can afford the things the children need.

I had 5 yrs as a sahm. Our budget was £200 a month; from this, I paid for travelcard @£60 ish, pension @ £110 ish, clothes for me & kids, treats, trips, playgroup subs. All the bills and food expenses came from the rest of our income (dh salary plus child benefit), so not included in the £200.